CHAPTER 15
Gavril
I sensed the change in Naomi the moment the car pulled away from the curb. She waved at the girls and then tucked herself against the door, keeping a distance between us. From her reaction to me in Inessa’s kitchen, I’d thought the things we discussed today had been forgotten.
Clearly that wasn’t the case. And as much as I wanted to force her to come to my side, I didn’t.
Being with the girls today had done me some good. It had helped me keep my mind off the shit surrounding my life, including the Krasnaya brigadiers and the fact that my wife had disregarded my basic rules.
I had also gotten my hands on the piano that I had bought for the girls, losing myself in my lessons with both of them and reconnecting my soul to music for a little while.
No matter what I became in the future, what horrors I sustained or even caused, music soothed me.
“Did you enjoy your visit?” I finally asked Naomi, tapping my fingers along my knee.
“It was nice to get out,” Naomi responded, her gaze focused on the passing scenery.
“And Inessa?” I prodded, tamping down my rising anger at her disinterest. “Did you enjoy your talk with her?”
My wife finally turned toward me, her eyes roaming over my face. “She fears for what will become of her daughters someday, Gavril.”
“As she should,” I answered, wondering if that was what was bothering Naomi. “Her girls can be a bit much.”
My words were meant to lighten the mood, but the look on Naomi’s face told me I had done the complete opposite.
“Does she need to worry?” she asked softly. “Truly?”
“Of course not,” I bit out, surprised that Inessa would think that I would allow anything to happen to her daughters. I had made a promise, and I planned to keep it for the length of my life at least.
What Inessa didn’t know was that the girls both had trust funds in their names, with more than enough to pay for their colleges when they turned eighteen. It was the least I could do, considering their father had given up his life for my Bratva and me.
“Nothing will harm those girls,” I promised.
“Can you really say that, Gavril?” Naomi challenged, though there was no heat to her words, only resignation. “Can you really guarantee their safety in this sick, twisted world that you live in?”
I heard the anguish in her voice, and it wasn’t anything that I hadn’t thought about myself. My world was dangerous. My association with the two girls was dangerous and at any point, one of my enemies could take the girls to force my hand. I had done my best to ensure that everything I did for Inessa and her girls was neatly covered up, but taking them to their auditions today had put them at risk.
It was when they had asked for me to accompany them that I couldn’t tell them no. All I could think of was how that would have been Vasily’s position as their father to do so and how proud he would have been.
It was my fucking fault that he wasn’t around for them, but I damn well would be.
“It’s my burden to bear,” I finally said, adjusting on the seat.
“That’s just it,” Naomi stated, drawing my attention back to her. “Fake marriage or not, I am your wife in everyone else’s eyes. Which means I have a burden to bear with you, Gavril. Whatever you cause? It’s my burden too. It affects my life and that of our family.”
I bristled at the word family, thinking that she didn’t just mean my mother and sisters. She meant us, and the children we would have.
She was talking about a future that I had already written off.
When her hand drifted to her stomach, my heart skipped. Some days, it was easy for me to forget that she was carrying our child.
Not Sveta as I had imagined, but Naomi. Though there’d be no Orlov blood running through our child’s veins, there would be Naomi’s. The thought pleased me more than it should.
In a few months, I would watch her bring our child into the world. The question was, would it be under happy pretenses or would I be alone in the joy?
I needed her. I needed her to stick with me, to help me push back on the Krasnaya brigadiers and the shit that threatened my entire existence. The urge to take her into my arms was overwhelming, but when I reached for her, she shied away, pressing herself into the door even more.
It was enough to shatter all the illusions I had just tried to conjure up.
So, I stayed away from Naomi until the car reached the mansion and she was stepping out, disappearing into the house without a word.
Vera was waiting for me as I entered the foyer, Naomi already upstairs and out of sight.
“Will there be dinner tonight in the dining room?”
I glanced up at the stairs, debating whether or not to go after Naomi and demand her thoughts.
“No, Vera,” I growled, deciding it wasn’t worth it. “Make sure my wife has dinner delivered to her room. I will be in mine.”
If Vera thought it strange, she did a damn good job of keeping her expression masked. “Yes, master.”
I didn’t respond, striding to my suite and slamming the door behind me. I didn’t know what I had been trying to get out of this day by taking Naomi with me. I had thought that maybe she wouldn’t see the monster at the docks.
How wrong I was. She had thrown my charity in my face, blaming me that those two girls would one day suffer the same fate as Sveta or worse, one of those women on the docks.
That wasn’t going to happen. No matter what happened with the Bratva, Alyona and Kira would always be safe from the horrors of what their father had been part of.
It had never been my intention to use them in any way that would cause them harm. It was the sole reason that they addressed me as Gavril and not their pakhan. Inessa had already been told to call me by my first name, but she felt the need to be respectful.
Those girls, however—I wanted them to see me as someone else.
“Fuck,” I muttered, stripping off my suit coat and throwing it on the chair.
Just when I thought I had made strides with my own wife, she kept pulling further away. I needed her to be on my side for the remainder of her pregnancy at least.
I needed her to not fuck up and give away the fact that she wasn’t Sveta.
Naomi was keeping my secret.
But that wouldn’t be enough for me. I wanted her fucking loyalty, her devotion to my Bratva and me. When she’d married into this lifestyle, she had known what she was getting into. She might have realized that I didn’t just deal with weapons and drugs, but she should have already known that this wasn’t going to be an easy life.
For some reason, Naomi had thought she’d have a life of sunshine and rainbows. I mean, I’d kidnapped her and forced her to marry me. What else did she expect from me?
Dropping into the nearby chair, I put my head in my hands and willed away the oncoming headache that threatened. My life had been a lot less complicated before she had come into my life.
That was for sure.
I had wavered in what to do with Naomi after our child was born. I knew now what I was going to do.
When I had first developed the plan to kidnap Sveta and marry her, feelings hadn’t been part of that plan. I’d never planned on wanting to spend time with my wife, wanting to make her happy.
It was because of Naomi that I wanted those things. She made me want to have a wife, a true wife, at my side as I ran my Bratva. She made me want to do more good things like I was doing for the girls so that I could feel a shred of fucking decency in my life.
I shouldn’t give a shit about it. I shouldn’t care about what she thought of me. I was the pakhan, the leader of the Belaya Bratva, and there were certain things that were required of me.
If Naomi couldn’t handle it, then perhaps she shouldn’t be in my life after our child was born.
The thought caused my chest to tighten, and I rubbed a hand over my face wearily. The weight of what felt like the entire world pressed down on my shoulders.
Could I look Naomi in the eye and snap her neck, watch as the light faded from her eyes?
Like Katya?
My hands literally shook at the thought. Maybe I could make her disappear so that I didn’t have to deal with her death. Anatoly or any of my loyal men would get rid of her for me, and I could move on with the most powerful Bratva in LA, with an heir waiting in the wings.