Her shocked outrage is still just as funny now as it was back in high school. “Iz, we were kids!”
“Whatever. Even the kid version of Gabe Marshall was some seriously prime eye-candy. You could have at least gotten naked a few times and manhandled that.”
I’m laughing so hard now that she shoves me over.
“It’s not funny! You know I had a serious crush on him and you just hung out with him like it was no big deal. There really weren’t any secret make-out sessions that you never told me about?”
I shake my head ruefully at the wishful tone of her voice. “Sorry to disappoint you. It's never been like that with us.”
"I know, I know. He's your white knight. I'm so grateful that he was there that night.” She gets really quiet all of a sudden and I know she’s remembering.
“It wasn’t your fault, Izzie.”
She manages a small smile. “Not directly but I shouldn’t have left you on your own. That’s part of the girlfriend code of honor.”
Truthfully, she remembers more of the night in question than I do. I’d told my parents that I was sleeping over at Izzie’s but we’d snuck out to go to a party at a senior’s house. We’d both gotten drunk for the first time and spent the entire night giggling over the couples making out in the corners, on the steps and even right out in the open.
Then Izzie had left me on my own to go talk to Chris, the boy she’d been crushing on since she’d been transferred into AP English. Everything after that is a blur.
According to her, Gabe found me in one of the upstairs rooms fighting off three guys who wouldn’t let me leave. My dress was torn and I was crying but I don’t remember any of th
at. All I know is that he got me out of there somehow. Strangely enough, the only thing I remember is the sensation of being held close and him tapping a rhythm on my arm.
For years after that night I couldn’t stand to be touched but the only thing I remember clearly is waking up in Izzie’s bed the next morning.
“Well, I still say it’s a shame. A man that gorgeous should never be put in the friend zone.”
“He makes me feel safe,” I say quietly. “I think I've been using Gabe as a crutch to keep from putting myself out there. The entire time I was dating Perry I think even he could tell something wasn't right. I stayed with him because he fit into the image my parents wanted. But he deserves better than that. And so do I.”
Izzie leans over and hugs me, burying her face in my shoulder. “You deserve everything.”
In that moment, I make another decision about my future. “I know what I want to do for my next project.”
She looks at me askance but she got used to how I randomly change topics years ago. “Your next photo series, you mean?”
“Yes. Sensuality is always presented as the female body. Not that I don’t understand why. The curves of the female form are beautiful. But I want to come at this from a different angle. I want to show the grace and sensuality in the male form.”
“Do it. Maybe you’ll finally stop mooning after Gabe if you find another hottie to lust after.”
She rolls her eyes at my scowl. “I know. Just friends. Whatever. So you’re focusing on the guys this time, huh?”
“That’s the plan.”
Her eyes sparkle as she sits up and I can tell she’s warming up to the idea. “You should hire one of those sexy male models to pose for you!”
Now she’s lost me. “I’m not hiring a hot guy just because you think I need to get laid. All the models for my last series were volunteers and I think it made the photos more stunning in the end because all the emotions captured were real. I was planning to do that again.”
“Well, that’s fine I guess as long as you find someone you actually want to see naked.”
“I’m not going to do it with the guy. Besides, who says I need to do anything with anyone right now. Being a virgin isn’t a crime.”
“No but bypassing the extreme hotness of Gabe Marshall to date the boring guys you’ve been with is. No wonder you haven’t given it up yet.”
I have to laugh, she’s so outrageous. “That has nothing to do with it.”
“You need to get some girl. If you don’t lose it finally you’re going to start growing cobwebs all up in your lady garden. And I want more than that for you.” She says this with typical Izzie aplomb, as if discussing the status of my lady parts is totally normal.
“Um, thanks for the support, I think?”