“All that ink makes for a pretty interesting canvas. You’re perfect, Zack. You’re everything I’ve been looking for.”
Her words have a double meaning now and I’m reminded again why it’s so important that I don’t fuck this up.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said. About wanting to just live your life and be happy. To have some adventures. Let’s do that.”
She pulls back, an amused smile on her lips. “You want to help me have adventures?”
“Yeah. I need to get used to you taking my picture so maybe you can bring your camera while we do stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Fun stuff. Whatever we feel like doing. Let’s start with getting you out of the house. Go get dressed.” I pop her on the bottom.
She raises an eyebrow but turns and goes back upstairs. Five minutes later she comes back down in tight jeans, a sweater and a faded blue ball cap with her ponytail pulled through the back. She grabs a hooded zip-up jacket from the stand by the door. Her camera bag is hanging there as well. I grab it and hand it to her.
“Adventure time starts now.”
†
Josie follows me to my car. She doesn’t ask any questions but I can tell she’s carefully considering everything. I’m not even sure where I’m taking her I just know that we need to be alone. Before I even know what I’m doing, I’m driving back toward Gabe’s house. I park in the drive and then as we climb out of the car, I hold out my hand to Josie.
“Let’s take a walk.”
She accepts my hand and we walk together through his backyard. We keep going past his property line to the river that runs behind his house. I step on a rock in the center and then jump to the other side. One of my feet lands in the water.
“Fuck that’s cold!”
I shake my foot, happy that I wore thick boots. The top of my sock is wet but if I’d been wearing sneakers my entire foot would have been soaked. Josie chuckles and then hops over and lands next to me gracefully. She tips her chin up to the sun and the look on her face is so peaceful. Then she opens her eyes and follows me as I lead us deeper into the woods.
As we walk, the dead leaves on the ground crunch under our feet. Josie burrows deeper into her jacket. I pull her under my arm, sharing my body heat. She looks up at me gratefully.
“This is exactly what I needed.”
“Me, too. I’ve been going crazy this past week. I knew that I was wrong as soon as I left but I was trying to respect your wishes. You asked me to leave you alone so I left you alone. But it was really hard.”
“I would have never guessed. You’ve always seemed so … I don’t know. Just like you don’t care what anyone thinks. Whether it’s getting another tattoo or shaving your head, you do what you want, when you want. I envy that.”
“Don’t. My rebellion was just as much a product of frustration as your willingness to follow. Ever since I was little, I’ve been poked and prodded. Doing what I wanted with my body the rest of the time was the only time I was in control of anything. You know how we grew up?”
She nods. I figured that Gabe had told her the story at least once.
“Well, people weren’t always welcoming. Our moms’ situation is unique and it can bring out the worst in people. With all the doctor visits to control my diabetes, it wasn’t easy. Gabe’s reaction was to become more charming. He became a master manipulator. He was determined to make people like him no matter what. Me? I was so tired and sick a lot of the time. I didn’t have the energy to care about what anyone thought of us and after a while I decided it was better that way.”
She leans against me and her hair brushes against my face. Normally I would shy away from this kind of intimacy but at this moment, in this place and time, it seems totally right to rest my head against hers and soak up all the warmth she offers. Being so close to her gives me th
e courage to broach the subject we’ve both been avoiding.
“You really dropped a bomb on me last week.”
She groans. “That was totally embarrassing. I can’t believe I even said all that stuff to you. I wish I could take it back.”
“I don’t. What you said… does that mean what I think it does? You’ve really never…”
“Had sex? That’s a negative.”
“Wow.”
“I know. A twenty-one-year-old virgin. I’ve been compared to finding a unicorn in the wild.” She rolls her eyes.