I didn’t know that a kiss could shake up your entire world.
“Josie,” he whispers.
I feel the sound of my name against my lips and something clenches hard in my lower belly. Then he’s kissing me again, harder, deeper this time. He’s been passive up until now but his arm curls under me holding me against him. My chest plasters to his and I absolutely melt as every part of me merges into every part of him. My nipples brush against his chest and they’re suddenly so hard it’s painful. The ache between my thighs is worse now and as if he knows, his palm flattens on my lower back urging me to straddle him.
When I do, he lets out a deep, needy sound that I’ll never forget.
Until he pulls back, his face tortured. “What are we doing?”
“Kissing.” I can’t seem to keep my hands away from his chest. I want to touch him all over.
He grabs my hands and holds them still as we pant, our breath mingling together. “This is crazy. This is not why I came over here.”
“I know.”
“And I would never take advantage of you.”
“I know. Why would you think you’re taking advantage? I want you. You want me.”
When he doesn’t say anything, I pull back a bit so I can see his face. What I see makes my heart sink. He looks cornered.
“At least I thought you wanted me.”
I shift back slightly so I’m not rubbing right up against the hard length in his jeans. “I can feel that you want me.”
“There’s more to this than just the heat of the moment.”
Now that pisses me off. He can’t deny that he wants me physically but to act like what just happened is a purely chemical thing is a slap in the face.
“So I could have been any willing woman and you would have reacted the same way. Good to know.”
He sighs. “That’s not what I meant. I just think a lot of things have happened lately. Anyone would be confused. I don’t want to take advantage of that.”
“I’m not the one who’s confused. The past few weeks have been a revelation for me. I don’t want to waste any more time. I’m going after the things I want. The things that make me happy. This isn’t a new thing for me, Zack. Feeling this way. And I don’t think it is for you either. You’ve never thought of me like this before today?”
“Of course. You’re beautiful, Josie.”
“Don’t give me that.” Frustration makes my voice sharper than I intend. “The ‘you’re beautiful’ thing. That’s what you say to your little cousin when she’s dressed up for prom. Tell me you’ve never thought of me like this.”
I point to the picture on the floor between us.
“Fuck.” The word seems to escape before he can stop it. “Of course I have. Look at you.” His eyes roam over me from the gap in my shirt to my long hair which I know has to look pretty wild after he’s had his hands in it.
“Yes, Zack. Look at me.”
I place my hands on his cheeks and rest my forehead against his. We sit like that breathing the same air for a minute before I kiss him again. He doesn’t move but our lips cling like they don’t want to separate any more than I do. He’s so rigid beneath me, like he’s afraid to make any moves or I’ll break.
Finally he meets my eyes. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, Jo.”
I push away and climb off his lap. My fingers fumble the buttons as I attempt to cover my cleavage. His eyes follow the movement. Even while he’s claiming to want to protect me, he can’t keep his eyes off my breasts.
“This is a lot to take in. I don’t want us to do something we’ll regret. You’d hate me, Jo and I couldn’t take that. You can have any guy that you want.”
“Don’t do that. I can take almost anything from you but sympathy.”
It’s a pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt to watch him try to backpedal his way out of this. My worst nightmare has come true. I told Zack how I feel and he doesn’t want me.
“It’s not like that, Josie–“