The arm around my waist tightens. “I hope you don’t ever ask me to choose. Because with the way you make me feel, I’m afraid of some of the choices I’d make.”
He looks suddenly uncomfortable with what he’s just revealed. I’m just as confused. All the lines have been blurred between us from the beginning and even though we made rules, we never discussed what we’d do if either of us got in too deep.
Without another word, he grabs my hand and we walk into the gallery together. I surrender my coat at the door and take Gabe’s arm. When I get my first glance at the crowd I’m doubly glad I splurged on a new dress. Most of the women are wearing formal attire and it feels like we’re wading into a sea of diamonds and precious stones. I clasp the thin gold chain around my neck. Suddenly I feel underdressed.
“This way.” Gabe leads me to the left side of the gallery. He stops in front of a sign with Josie’s name on it. “This is her collection.”
The photographs are arranged in a semi-circle. The first photo shows a woman looking over her shoulder at a couple passionately embracing. She has tears in her eyes. The next photo is a woman leaning toward a mirror touching up her lipstick. She’s topless.
Nudity is definitely not something I’m super comfortable with coming from such a religious family. But the way it’s presented makes her curves seem like just another feature, like her full lips or the mole on her cheek. It’s classy. Despite my initial misgivings, I’m impressed.
“She’s really talented.”
And I’m not saying it because she’s Gabe’s friend. We stop in front of a picture of a couple spooning on a bed. The man is curved completely around his woman, cradling her in the shell of his body like he can protect her from the world. Josie took the shot from a lower angle so it feels like you’re right there peering over the edge of the bed. Looking at the picture makes me feel a strange sort of awareness. It captures the way I think a lot of women wish they could feel after intimacy. Cherished.
Gabe is the only man I’ve ever been with who makes me feel that way.
“Yes, she is very talented.” Gabe sounds a little shocked.
“Haven’t you seen her work before?” Since he said they’ve been friends since high school, I would have assumed that he’d seen her work plenty of times. Unless she’s really private about it. I understand that. Kay has been writing songs for a long time but it was years before she would even show me and I’m her best friend.
“I have. But not like this. She used to do regular portraits. Some landscapes. Even wedding photography. She always said that photographing people when they aren’t posing is her favorite thing to do. But it was never like this. This is truly what she’s meant to do.”
Gabe turns at the sound of his name. Zack is waving him over to a group of people on the other side of the room.
He hesitates. “I wish I could stay here and hide with you. Unfortunately that man with Zack is one of our best customers. So I have to go play nice.”
I push him away slightly. “Go and mingle. I’m going to see the rest of the exhibit.
”
“Are you sure? I didn’t bring you here to abandon you, I promise.”
I stand on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be fine. I’m excited to see the rest of her pictures. Plus, I’d rather wander and explore than get stuck in conversation with people I don’t know.”
Most of the people here came with someone so it’s surprisingly easy to wander without anyone bothering me. Since the focus is on the photographs, there’s not much pressure to make conversation unless you want to. When I move to another cluster of photos, I realize that I’ve left Josie’s display. I move from section to section, admiring the talent of the artists.
All of the photos focus on physical intimacy but each has a different tone. Some are sweet, some are raunchy and there are some that invoke a sense of violence that I find disturbing. Although they make me uncomfortable, I understand the artist’s intentions. Sex brings out the basest emotions in all of us and I’ve had a few boyfriends whose love felt destructive rather than nurturing. It’s not a good thing but it’s reality.
By the time I circle the entire room and come back to Josie’s collection, I have to admit that hers are my favorite.
“Sasha! I’m so glad you came.” Josie appears at my elbow looking like a screen siren in a black sheath dress and pearls. Her dark hair contrasts with her dramatic red lip color in an elegant way.
“Hi. I was just admiring your photos again. Everyone here is really talented but yours are definitely the best.”
Although I doubt my opinion matters that much to her, she beams at the compliment.
“Thank you. I’ve worked so hard on this series. I almost didn’t participate in this show. It’s such an honor to be asked but I wasn’t sure I could deal with all the fallout. My parents still aren’t speaking to me. I guess I should look at that as a positive thing.”
There’s nothing in her attitude or behavior that makes her seem insincere. She seems so nice. And charmingly self-deprecating. I instantly feel worse for the things I’ve been thinking about her.
“Well, I’m glad you decided to do it.”
“I probably wouldn’t have if Gabe hadn’t talked me into it. He’s always believed in me. Even when I didn’t believe in myself. He’s an amazing friend.”
When she talks about Gabe her expression softens. It’s clear that she loves him. Jealousy flares again, strong and bright. I don’t want to ask but it’ll always be between us otherwise.
“Is that all he is? A friend?”