Knowing too much emotion will scare her off, I take a second to pull myself together. Then I think fuck it and come around the counter. I lift her straight into my arms.
“Ari.” It’s all I can get out. Just her name before my throat closes again.
She's rigid in my arms at first, her entire upper body as straight as a ruler. Then she melts into the embrace, wrapping her legs around my waist. When her fingers curl into the hair at the nape of my neck, I feel it all the way down to my toes. Her touch electrifies me.
“Vin. Shhh now. It’s okay.” She strokes my hair while whispering more nonsense words.
“I just spent the last few hours thinking it was too late for us. That I’d lost you before I even had you.”
I can’t lose this. I can’t lose her.
“I really am okay. Vin? Did you hear me?”
She pushes back slightly so she can see my face. I’m not ashamed of the moisture on my cheeks. Her thumbs brush it away before she leans her forehead against mine.
“This was my five year scan. The big one. After this, I’m considered to be out of the danger zone. As much as any survivor can be, anyway.
”
“It can come back after that?”
There’s resignation in her eyes. “It can always come back.”
I’d give anything to take this for her, to keep her safe from the faceless threat that she’s lived under for years. But all I can do is be here for her. To take care of her the way she takes care of everyone else.
“That’s enough talk for now. Do you want a foot massage? Or a nap?”
She slaps my chest lightly.
“Ow. What was that for?”
“We need to talk about this. We can’t pretend it doesn’t matter.”
Unable to resist any longer, I capture her mouth. Her lips soften beneath mine, all the tension in her body flowing into the kiss.
“Everything about you matters. But I don’t need to ask questions when my girl is tired and still has that haunted look in her eyes. None of the answers will change the fact that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
“I guess you know all my secrets now.”
Thinking of all the strange things she’s said and done to me since we met, I doubt I’ll ever know all her secrets. But at least I’ll have the time to discover some of them.
And I’ll never be bored.
The whistle of the tea kettle startles us both. We laugh before I set her gently on her feet.
“I’ll get the tea.”
She nods. “I’ll change into my pajamas. That’s usually what I do after a morning of feeling like a lab rat.”
I move the kettle off the heat to quiet the noise and then rummage through the cabinets until I find teabags. When I turn, Ari is still hovering at the edge of the kitchen with a tender, unsure look on her face.
“What is it, baby?”
She doesn’t even make a face at the endearment.
“What if it’s back? The cancer, I mean. Sure you don’t want to bail?”
“If it’s back then we’ll deal with that. As far as me bailing,” I walk over and tap her nose affectionately. “Just try and get rid of me.”