I take her hand and help her into my truck, but before opening my door, I let a few tears out. No one can expect me not to be emotional right now, and that’s the only reason I felt comfortable taking Raquel out tonight. She knows what I’m going through, and will understand if I break down.
She tells me to pull over, and I do as she asks. “Look at me. You don’t have to be strong for me. It’s my job to be there for you right now, and I can’t do that if you are holding everything in.
I keep my eyes locked on hers, contemplating whether I am going to contain myself long enough to drop her off, but I can’t. The tears flow, and as embarrassing as it is, it feels right. I shouldn’t feel this way about grieving my father, because he was a good man, who would have done anything for us, and all I can hope is that one day, I can be half the father he was.
“You never have to hide how you feel from me. Ever. For this to work, we have to be open and honest with each other in all aspects of our lives. Okay?” she says, cupping my chin and looking into my eyes.
I nod, and lean into her, and just let myself cry. Sometimes, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this comfortable with someone, and it only solidifies the fact that she is my person.
“I love you.”
The words come out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about the impact it could have on our relationship. She didn’t say it back the first time I said it, and maybe it’s because we were caught up in the moment, or she just isn’t there yet, which is fine. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m madly in love with her, and I shouldn’t worry about telling her that.
She kisses my lips. “I love you, Jeremy Grey.”