I leave the room to give her some privacy to change and sit down next to Aiden on the couch. He must have a hard time dealing with Hazel. This could be a test in their relationship. and how he handles it will determine whether they are together long term.
“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”
I go back out to my truck and lead the way to the church. With only a day’s notice, I do not know what to expect today, and if people will even be attending. My father was a good man, and he touched a lot of lives.
When we get to the church, there are already people standing outside, and I brush past them to meet with the Pastor. I don’t know if we are supposed to go over anything beforehand or not.
“Good afternoon. Did you need anything from us?” I ask, just wanting to start the ceremony.
“No, sir. Everything is ready to go. If you and your sister would like to have a seat, we have someone to usher them inside to the pews.”
I wave at Hazel and Aiden to come inside, and we go to the front pew, which has a sign that says Reserved for Family. My nose burns, and I can feel the tears ambushing me, but I push them down.
Hazel takes my hand, and she is already balling and trying to compose herself before they open the doors.
“It’s me and you. We will get through today together, okay?” I say.
A gentleman opens the church doors, and people spill in, more than I could imagine. By the time they shut the doors, almost every single pew is filled with residents coming to say goodbye to our father. Most of them I do not recognize.
“Would you like me to sit next to you?” Raquel whispers in my ear, from the pew behind us.
I nod, and she makes her way next to me and takes my other hand. The overwhelming sense of support from her during this time is something I could never imagine. One can only hope that Aiden is providing Hazel with support as well.
The pastor welcomes everyone to the service.
“We are here today to pay our tribute and our respect to a man of God, our brother, Donald Grey. Many have come who have respected Jeremy as a teacher and friend. We are here today to show our love and support for Donald’s family. Our hearts ache over this situation and we are not too proud to say we have come here today trusting that God will give us the strength to move forward after this substantial loss.”
Everyone in the audience is nodding, and Hazel is wailing, sending echoes across the church. I clench my teeth, trying to get mine under wraps until after the ceremony, but I fear it’s going to be harder with her next to me.
“It is human nature for us to want to understand everything, and why he was taken from us so soon, but God has called him home to be part of a bigger plan. I’d like to take this time to allow anyone to come forward that would like to say something in Donald’s honor.”
I raise my hand and begin the walk up to the podium. You can do this. It’s your last chance to say what you want to say to him. Even if he can’t hear it.
“When we think of Donald, we think about the sacrifices he has made for his students, his children, and most of all himself. He was a honorable man who would give anyone the shirt off his back if they needed it. He volunteered for many years at the soup kitchen at this church, and this is something he wished he could continue to do once they diagnosed him.”
I keep my head down, staring at the podium, and not looking out into the foyer because if I do, I might not finish.
“He devoted a good portion of his adulthood to his marriage with Regina. He loved her deeply and even after she passed, he couldn’t bring himself to be with anyone else. It is our human nature to want to understand why this happened, but I hope that he is somewhere looking down on us, reunited with Regina, and having the time of his life.”
Everyone claps as I sit back down next to Raquel and bring her hand into my lap. The pastor asks if anyone else would like to say any words, and a man raised his hand.
“Donald Grey has always been an idol in my mind. You might not know me, but I can assure you that I would not be here standing before you today with my success if he had not believed in me. When my grades started slipping after my mother’s death, he took it upon himself to nurture me, tutor me, and make sure that I did not fail his class. Most teachers wouldn’t give up their free time, but Mr. Grey wanted each of his students to succeed. And because of that, I am now the CEO of a major pharmaceutical company. My prayers go out to his kids, but need I remind you, your father was a remarkable man and one can only hope that we will continue to honor his memory for many decades to come.”
The pastor says some final words, and Hazel couldn’t wait to get out of there. She rushes out before anyone else leaves, and I do what the Pastor tells me, stand at the back of the room, and shake hands as people leave.
“Are you ready to get out of here?” Raquel asks, looking around the room. There are still many people left waiting to talk to me, and right now, I need some fresh air. I take her hand and escape outside, closing my eyes and just letting the sun hit my face.
Things like this make you realize how little time we have, and that putting things off or not taking control of your life can be detrimental to your happiness. I might have thought I couldn’t pursue a relationship while taking care of my dad, but that wasn’t it. Deep down, I’ve feared getting my heart broken or torn to pieces. You can’t find love that way. Guarding my heart, and making excuses is only going to make matters worse, and prevent me from finding my true happiness.
It might not be the best timing, but I need to be straightforward with Raquel and put my heart on the line. It’s time to put myself first and start planning for my future. If this has taught me anything, it’s that life is short, and I don’t want to be alone anymore.
She is standing next to me, just letting me calm down for a moment, but I don’t want to wait. I might sound crazy, but I’m going for it.
“Can we talk?”
She nods and gives me her full attention.
“You know we are both attracted to each other, and that was apparent at Damon’s party, right? You wanted me to make sure that the way I feel isn’t because of the situations going on, and they aren’t.”
“Jer-,”
“No, Raquel. You can’t talk me out of it this time. I’m sick of tiptoeing around the fact that I’m madly in love with you. The only person I want to get through life with is you. Nobody else. We both deserve happiness, and that’s our future. If only you would say yes to going out with me for real this time, and we can start our happiness today.”
She stays quiet for a few moments, which scares the ever loving shit out of me, thinking maybe she isn’t ready. So many things have kept us apart, but it’s time to move those things out of the way. I want to make her happy.
“Yes. A thousand times, yes.”