“Well, Damon is going to be ecstatic. Emily, too. This is great news.”
The conversation goes silent, and we focus on eating our food. She is excited to get home to tell her husband. When I found out I was pregnant with Lily, I didn’t know how Dean was going to react. He always talked about wanting to wait to have kids. I set up a t-shirt with Future Dad on the kitchen table, and he found out when he got home from work and called me. He thought I was joking, and didn’t take me seriously until he saw the confirmation paperwork from the doctor. It took him months to come around and be excited. He’s a good dad, and loves Lily, but he should’ve been more supportive of me.
After our plates are empty, I drop thirty dollars on the table, and she is quick to leave.
“I’ll let you know how it goes. Night, girl.”
She hustles out the door, and I wait a minute, letting Jeremy know I’m fixing to leave so I can get the address. He doesn’t respond right away, and I know it’s already nine o’clock, so maybe he is asleep. I shrug my shoulders, get in the car, and start going down Main.
A text message comes through my car, reading it to me. Thank god for these newer cars that have this function, cause I hate texting and driving. It’s his address, and it asks if I would like to pull up the GPS to the location. What a dumb question.
I’m not sure what to expect going over there, but I want to be there for him. These last moments with his father are going to be something he will remember for the rest of his life, and I don’t want his anger or frustration to keep him from that. I’ve seen it too many times with patient’s families and he will regret it.
The GPS takes me to a cute little home, reminds me of my parent’s house when I was little, and I get out and approach the front door. I have to remember this is an overwhelming emotional time for him right now, and give myself a pep talk before I knock. When he comes to the door, he looks awful. His face is red and blotchy, and he is in grey sweatpants, hanging just off his hips.
“Thanks for coming. I don’t have many people I can call.”
I walk inside, and place my purse on the entryway table, and follow him to the couch. Most men would never let a woman see them like this, and it’s nice to see Jeremy is different. From the moment I met him at Damon’s party, I knew he wasn’t like the others.
“What am I going to do?” he starts to cry. “How am I going to function without him? Live in this house? Take on the world without him?”
Death is a very scary subject, especially for those that are left behind by a loved one, and it gets us thinking about things we would want to do differently. The famous saying: Act like each day is your last, it is so true. We just never know how much time we have left, and everyone wants to make their mark on the world and be remembered after we are gone. I know Don has touched many people's lives and he will not be forgotten.
There isn’t anything I can say to him, so I just scoot closer and let him lay into my shoulder. Right now, he just needs someone to listen while he gets this all out. I’m grateful he trusts me to be that person.
“Hazel will be back tomorrow. If you think I’m a mess, wait until you see her. When she arrives, I can't be like this. I need to be strong for her, but I don’t know if I can.”
His lips graze mine as I pull him in for a hug. At first, I pull away, not knowing if this is the right time or place for this to happen, but the way Jeremy looks at me, lost and lonely, I lean back into him and let it be. Even if he is only kissing me to take his mind off of all of this. He tucks his hands on my waist, and I move over on top of him. The heat of the moment kicks in, and I don’t even know what I want.
He stops kissing me and leans his head back on the couch. “As much as I’ve been dreaming of this happening, I don’t want you to regret it. Let’s pick this up another time.”
Most girls would be irritated, but it makes me respect him even more. He doesn’t want pity sex, and neither do I. If and when we get to enjoy that side of each other, it should be a happy time.
“You might not know this, but my grandfather had Alzheimer’s. It’s not something I go around telling everyone, but it’s another big reason I’m in this industry.”
He cocks his head. “Really?”
“Yeah, he was a wonderful man, but it changed him. As kids, it was hard to bond with him, because at a certain point, he couldn’t even recognize his kids, so he had no clue who we were.”
His eyes water again. “It’s the most awful feeling. Wanting to spend time with them, but not even being able to share that moment because they do not know who you are.”
I lean in, close to his face, and kiss him. “These aren’t the only memories you will have, Jeremy. Think of all the things you and Don did together over your life. They might not be picture perfect, but at least you have them, you know?”
My grandfather’s death caught my parents off guard. Doctors can tell someone all day to prepare, but it’s just not possible. How do you prepare to lose your loved ones? We know at some point any of us could leave this Earth, but that doesn’t mean we are ready for it.
His diagnosis shook my dad to his core, and he wanted to do everything he could for him, but once his memory went, it’s kind of hard to do that. At our request, he still took us to see grandpa, but sometimes he wouldn’t even introduce us. We would just go to the center and talk to him. He told us it would be better this way, so we didn’t upset him.
“How do I say goodbye to my father if he can’t even recognize me? I can’t explain to him how much he means to me, and I appreciate everything he’s done for me. All the things I want to say, I can’t.”
I take his hands in mine, and he looks into my eyes. “You can tell him whatever you want. He might not understand now, but I promise you that man, your father, he knows.”