Chapter 12
Raquel
The breeze whips through my hair as we sit on the bench watching Emily and Lily play. Grapevine recently updated the playground and the girls have been dying to test it out. Tessa’s company is needed right now, because I’m lost with Jeremy. I want to give him a chance, but between my job and my brother, it proves to be harder than I expected.
“Do you think I’m crazy for turning Jeremy down? Be honest.”
Tessa crosses her legs and places her palms on her knee. “I think you are playing it safe. And after what Dean did, I can’t say I blame you.”
“Dean has nothing to do with this.”
As the words come out of my mouth, I know that they are true, but then it gets me thinking. Am I pushing Jeremy away because of the way my marriage ended? Could it be that I’m scared to be with anyone after he clearly cheated on me and made me out to be the bad guy?
“Don’t get mad. Just remember, Jeremy isn’t Dean. As far as I can tell, he is an honorable man who just wants to get to know you. The man hasn’t asked a woman out in years. So Damon says.”
Knowing this tidbit of information helps me. The heart break of being cheated on fucks with me every day. In the back of my head, there are a million questions. Did I not satisfy his needs? Truth be told, our intimacy took a hit when I started working longer hours, but that’s part of the job, and if anyone understands that, it’s Dean.
Things have been escalating between Jeremy and I. I have to keep myself from pushing him up against the wall and having my way with him. The connection we have is real, but what if it’s only because everything is pushing us apart? Once all these obstacles are taken away, will we still feel this way? This pull?
“I’m thinking about giving him a chance. Why should I let my job or brother choose who I get to be with? My happiness is my own.”
Tessa nods and screams at the kids. “It’s time to go.”
They have parent-teacher conferences tonight. Ours are scheduled for next week.
Lily and Emily hug each other and we go our separate ways to the car.
Talking things out with Tessa always seems to help me get a better perspective on a problem. She isn’t one to lie, and usually she makes it short and sweet.
My phone rings, and my mother’s name scrolls across the screen.
“Hey, mom. Just heading home from the park with Lily.”
I hear Eli talking in the background. “Are you free for dinner?”
Why didn’t they tell me about coming to visit? Of course, my brother knew and didn’t tell me. He is their favorite, but it’s always been that way. I think it has a lot to do with being good at sports, and making a name for himself. My parents loved that.
“Yes, where should I meet you?”
Eli yells in the background. “Diner. See you there.”
My mom doesn’t even say anything, just hangs up the phone.
Lily jumps around in the backseat. She hasn’t seen my parents in about two years, and as much as I wish they would visit more often, it’s not one-sided. They haven’t seen me since the divorce, and I’m sure my mother will have lots of questions about that. They are traditional in the sense that they believe you should only be married once. Infidelity or not. Somehow, I am supposed to just forgive Dean and make it work. And this might have worked decades ago, but no woman wants to stay with a man that doesn’t make them happy.
I make a U-turn and head back toward the diner, knowing that tonight will not be pleasant. My game face is on, and if it goes anything like the others, Eli will take up most of the night talking about himself. Maybe it will keep mom off of my back. Fingers crossed.
My Kia Soul whips into a parking spot right in front, and I get out to help Lily.
“How long are they staying, mom?”
I unbuckle the seatbelt and assist her out. “Not sure, sweetie. Guess we will find out at dinner.”
She takes my hand, and we make our way inside to spot them sitting by the door. Eli is already talking about a recent fire they worked on, and every story he tells, he’s the hero. It’s like nobody else had a hand in helping put the fire out, or saving someone from a building. I think he embellishes many of his stories.
“Grandma!” Lily screams, running up to the booth and jumping into her lap.
“Look how big you’ve gotten.”