Chapter 7
Jeremy
You can tell a lot about a person by their motivation behind certain things. Raquel’s want to become a nurse because of someone who she saw to be brave and kind means she wants to be like Paula. She wants to make a difference. Motivations like this can have a tremendous impact on who a person becomes, and looking at Raquel, it’s proof.
She has this thing she keeps doing where she bites her lower lip when I ask her a question, almost like she’s scared whatever she says is going to make me run. Everyone has baggage, especially at our age, so she doesn’t need to worry. I’ve got my own shit to work out, too.
Raquel gets more interesting the more I learn about her, and we might just be friends right now, but I’m hoping eventually we can give this a shot. She might have said this isn’t a date, but I like how her outfit of choice shows she wants it to be.
As she is talking to me, my eyes focus on hers, and they gleam a little when she talks about her job. It lets me know my dad will be in expert hands. Things don’t always go the best in places like these, so it’s nice to know I have someone on the inside monitoring him.
“So, how long have you lived in Grapevine?” she asks, adding some cream and sugar to her coffee.
Sometimes, I hate talking about my childhood because it’s depressing, and on dates, it can ruin the mood, but it always comes up. The part that irritates me is sometimes I can see the pity in their eyes, and it’s unnecessary. I ended up okay, thanks to Don and Regina.
“Since I was a teenager...” Raquel has been upfront with me, and I can only extend the same truth. “The foster care system is a joke. As a child, I bounced around home after home for years, and never stayed anywhere over six months. Making friends or getting close to people isn’t something I could do. This went on for about six years, and then I was placed with Don and Regina. At first, it was hard. After every family has let you down for six years, it’s hard to imagine finding one that wants to keep you around.”
I search for her reaction, because talking about this is personal, and normally not something I share with someone I just met, but it’s not like that with her. Raquel has been easy to talk to, and I don’t see any judgment from her.
“Foster care needs to be revamped. I’ve seen firsthand some people that are verified foster parents, and it’s terrifying,” Raquel says.
Usually, when I talk about this, the person thinks I’m being overdramatic, but no one can attest to it unless they have been in the system. Being a foster parent is not the same as being a foster kid. I bet the parents that housed Hazel and myself thought they were doing right by us, but they weren’t. Bringing a child into your home for only monetary purposes is downright despicable. They have already lost enough, and being in a home that doesn’t want them only makes matter worse in their eyes.
“I can’t tell you how many places they sent me to that only used me for the check. They didn’t care about me or want to get to know me,” I respond, and don’t want to get too far deep into this topic.
“So, are you staying in Grapevine long term?” she asks.
Where does she think I’ll go? “It’s my home and always will be. The small town vibe is perfect and knowing the people in this town means I have thousands of people I can trust. It’s like a family community, and we are all here to help each other. Trivial things aren’t important to me, so a big city isn’t on my radar. Plus, it’s a great place to raise a family.”
I stop myself after mentioning that. This isn’t a fucking date. No need to talk about having a family. Her eyes search mine, and it’s obvious my demeanor has changed. Why would I mention starting a family with a girl that I’m not even on an actual date with? Stupid, Jeremy.
The waitress shows up with our food, and I don’t know if it’s because of my last statement, but it feels like we’ve been here forever. I thank her and start digging in. Maybe that will help change the subject.
“And becoming a firefighter?” she asks.
Construction has always been my job since I turned eighteen, and it pays very well, but the hours are long and horrible. There is no set schedule with it, and with everything going on with my dad, it isn’t fair to waste what precious time I might have left working. So, when Aiden and my sister got back together, a spot opened up.
“So, it just kind of fell into your lap?”
“You could say that.”
Damon has been asking me for years to come and join the team, but it’s a pay cut. So, I never took it seriously until now. Helping the community will be beneficial and rewarding. The Jackson brothers are always talking about how doing the job changes their perspective on a lot of things, and makes them feel like they are helping the community every day. So, when the spot became open, I applied and got it. Simple as that.
“Do you see yourself staying in Grapevine long term?” I ask.
The friend zone is somewhere I’ve been pushed into many times, and it’s hard to crawl out of there once you are so far in. I like Raquel and if we need to start out friends to give this a chance later, I’ll do it. Yet, none of that matters if she doesn’t plan on staying here long term. Grapevine is my home, and it is my responsibility to make sure my dad’s house is taken care of and doesn’t get sold to some random person.
Raquel takes a big bite out of her burger, and her head bobs while chewing it before answering. “I like it here. Working at the memory center is something I didn’t know I needed.”
So, that’s not a direct answer, which throws me off guard. She might just be here to get away for a couple of years, and then plans on moving back to Dallas. Raquel isn’t going to break my heart before we even get started, is she?
Here I am, listening to her talk about how much she loves her job, and all I can think about it taking her from behind while wearing nothing but her white coat. I twitch, and try to keep on the backburner, but it’s impossible. My dirty ass mind is full of angst and when I get to have her, she will know why I’m the perfect man for her.
“Hello?”
She’s waving her hand in front of my face because I haven’t been paying attention to much of anything that she’s said in the last few minutes.
“Earth to Jeremy.”