“You’ve just eaten. It’s kind of normal to want a drink.”
That made sense. “Water, please. The tap will do.”
He filled the glass and passed it to her, taking her empty plate and rinsing it before placing it in the dishwasher. “You’re kind of an enigma,” he said, turning back to the pan. “You know that?”
“I am?” She blinked.
“Yeah. The first time I met you there was this innate confidence about you. You walked across the room like you owned it; everybody turned and stared at you, everybody wanted to be the one to buy you a drink. I’ve noticed it a few times. You have this presence.” He slid the second omelet on his plate and carried it to where she was perched on the stool. “But then you have this other side to you. You’re so uncertain about yourself. About other people. It’s like a chink in your armor.”
“It’s a combination of an expensive education and a lonely childhood,” she told him, shocked how accurate his description was. “When you’re brought up with money there are expectations on you. You have to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, even your walk has to meet those expectations. I can remember my grandma shouting at me for slouching, telling me to stand up straight. I soon learned the way to avoid getting shouted at was to do exactly what was required of me.”
His eyes were soft as he gazed at her. “Sounds tough.”
She laughed but there was no humor in it. “Not really. It’s the same old story, poor little rich girl. I wasn’t any different than all the other students at school. We knew we’d grow up to become the kind of women our parents wanted us to be. Beautiful, compliant, and completely messed up.”
“You don’t seem that messed up to me.” He speared a piece of omelet with his fork.
“Maybe I hide it well.” She pulled her lip between her teeth. “Hey, I’m not giving you ammunition for a custody battle, am I?”
“I’d never take our baby away from you.”
“You’re a good man,” she told him. “Maybe one of the nicest guys I’ve met. If the condom had to fail with anybody, I’m glad it was you.”
He coughed out a laugh. “Is that a compliment?”
She couldn’t help but grin. As hard as it was to think back to her childhood, to the sheer loneliness of it all, she wasn’t there anymore. She was here, in Angel Sands, talking to the father of her child.
A good man who just made her food; that alone made him a god.
“About what happened earlier,” she said, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “It shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I was kind of kidding when I blamed it on my hormones, because I know I have more control than that. It was my fault for pulling you on top of me, for begging you to kiss me. And then to run out like a child, refusing to talk about it.” She covered her face with her hands. “How embarrassing.”
He put his silverware down and peeled her hands away from her face, leaning in close to her. “Don’t be embarrassed. And it wasn’t all one sided. Did you see me complaining?” He folded her hands in his. She loved how strong they were, how warm and big. As though he could do anything, solve anything.
“No.”
“And did you feel how much I was… ah… enjoying it?”
There was no guile in his face. Just an honesty that cut her in two. “I felt it,” she whispered.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Harper. You look good, you smell good, and you have this way of entrancing everybody you meet. What man in his right mind would turn you down?” He ran the tips of his fingers along her cheekbone.
She closed her eyes, feeling the spark once more. She’d never felt a need this strong, never felt this attracted to somebody. And yeah, she could blame the hormones, but it was more than that.
It was him. She’d known it from the first moment they met. Before the baby, before the hormones. She wasn’t attracted to him because of added chemicals flowing through her body, or because of the fact he’d cooked her dinner. It was more, so much more, and she had no idea what to do with that.
It wasn’t compatible with becoming the kind of mother she wanted to be. This need for him threatened to engulf everything, and she couldn’t let that happen.
“I like taking care of you,” James said, his voice low. “Whether that means providing space for your business, cooking you dinner, or…” He picked up their plates and carried them over to the dishwasher. “Meeting your other needs, then I’m here for that.”
She was silent as he cleaned up the kitchen, before he walked over to her, cupping her face in his palm. She felt dazed, her eyes widening as he leaned closer to brush his lips gently across hers. “I’m going to head home now,” he whispered against her mouth. “You get some rest, okay? And I’ll see you tomorrow after work.”
She nodded, and he cupped her jaw in his palm, deepening the kiss until it left her breathless. Then he turned and walked away. “I’ll see myself out,” he called, leaving her staring breathlessly after him, wondering what the heck just happened. Again.
15
“Should we agree on a safe word?” James asked her as he lifted his hand to ring the bell.
“A safe word?” she asked him, a half-frown curling her lips. “Why would we need that?”