“I weigh two hundred pounds, Mom. I’m not exactly wasting away.” He pulled back to look at her. “And I’m fine. I eat, I work out, I look after myself. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“I’ll always worry about you,” she said softly. “Now come in. Your dad’s lighting the grill and you know how much he hates that. The Russells are here. I don’t know if he warned you. Lucas and Ember are here, too. She’s pregnant – did you know?” His mom twisted her fingers, her lips pressing together in a thin worried line.
The Russells were his parents’ best friends from before he was even born. He’d grown up with them – they were almost family. Which made their son, Lucas, like a younger brother to him.
But like so many others, he’d lost touch with him over the past few years. “No, I didn’t know,” he said, shrugging. “How far along is she?”
“Six months, I think.” His mom’s expression softened. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay, honey? I can make your excuses…”
“It’s fine. People are allowed to have babies. Just because I lost mine, doesn’t mean I get to hide away.” He gave her a smile to let her know he meant it. It wasn’t as if you could avoid babies or children in this world. Or pretty women, for that matter. It had been three years, after all. He should be okay by now.
Some days he actually believed that.
As soon as he walked into his parents’ backyard, the four people sitting around the glass table turned to look at him. He recognized Deenie and Wallace, of course. Deenie didn’t seemed to have changed a bit since he was fifteen and used to hang out in her bookshop. Her
long silver hair was pulled back into a low bun, reflecting the rays of sun. Wallace may have put on some weight, but he, too, had the look of a man younger than his age. And both of them were smiling at him.
“Hello, James.” Wallace was the first to stand. There was a scrape of chairs as the others followed. Wallace reached for his hand and James shook it firmly before he gave Deenie a hug.
“You remember Lucas,” she said softly. “And this is his wife, Ember.”
“It’s good to meet you,” he said to Ember, shaking her hand before turning to Lucas. “And it’s great to see you again.”
“It’s good to see you, too.” Lucas gave him a tight hug that almost took James’s breath away. It had been more than a while since he’d seen him. In that time he’d grown, got more muscles. Maybe that’s what working at the fire department did to you. “How’s work going?”
“Good. I just came from the hospital.”
“Working on your day off again?” his mom said, sliding a non-alcoholic beer into his hands. “What have I told you about that?”
“Sickness doesn’t wait for a weekday, Mom.”
“That’s what I always say about fire,” Lucas said, grinning. “It doesn’t follow a nine-to-five shift.” James appreciated the understanding in his eyes. There were so few professions that understood being on call twenty-four-seven, and working whatever it took to make people better. Medical workers, police officers, firefighters… all of them did whatever it took to protect and serve.
“Sit down,” Deenie said, patting the chair next to hers. “Tell me how you’re doing.”
He took the seat and smiled at her. “I’m fine. Just keeping on keeping on. I hear you’re going to be a Grandma. Congratulations.”
“It’s wonderful,” she agreed. “We’re very happy.” She licked her lips and looked him in the eye. “But there’s a sadness, too. After what happened to Sara and Jacob…”
It was strange hearing their names. As the years passed he’d noticed people didn’t say them anymore. His beautiful wife and gorgeous baby had become ‘them’. As in ‘We miss them,’ or ‘how are you doing without them?’ or even worse ‘you should be over them by now…’
“You don’t need to be sad,” he replied, his voice thick. “You shouldn’t be. Not with something like this. Sara would hate the thought of her death overshadowing your happiness. Having Jacob was the happiest day of her life.” His, too.
Deenie’s eyes were shining. “I think about him a lot. He’d be four by now, right? At pre-school. What happened to them was terrible.” She shook her head. “Your parents are so proud of you, for how you’re coping with it all. If it had been me I would have fallen apart.”
There weren’t many people who would talk to him like this. But Deenie had always been honest and open with everybody. From a young age he could remember her kind eyes and soft words.
“When’s the baby due?” he asked.
“In three months. It’s Ember’s baby shower in a couple of weeks. Her mom’s been driving us crazy with all the arrangements. It’s the first grandbaby on both sides so we’re all a little excited.”
“Do you know what it is?”
She shook her head. “They want a surprise.”
He glanced over at Ember. He’d never met her before but she had a glow only pregnant women seemed to get. She was smiling at Lucas, her hand resting on her bump, her eyes bright as they laughed about something with his mom and dad.
He could remember Sara looking exactly like that. He’d lie behind her, their bodies spooned together as his hand rested on her swollen belly. Sometimes he could swear he could still feel Jacob’s tiny kicks against his hand as he drifted off to sleep.