Logan looked over at Courtney again. Her head had lolled to the side. He really needed to take her home, but the thought of it made his chest ache. Because then he’d come back here to celebrate Christmas instead of being with her.
“So what’s going on between you two?” Cam asked, his voice casual.
“What do you mean?” Logan frowned.
“Are you two in a serious relationship? You gonna make it official? I can’t quite figure out what’s happening here.”
Logan sighed, tracing his finger around the mist on his bottle. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I like her. But there’s no future for us. She’s got a life here, and I’ve got a life in Boston. It couldn’t work between us long term.” And it felt like a kick in the gut to say it. When he was with her, Boston felt like a world away. And now, watching her with his sister and his brothers’ wives, it felt like this should be his life.
But it wasn’t.
“Won’t she move?” Cam asked.
Logan shook his head. “I haven’t asked her. And I wouldn’t. You should see her on the farm. She loves those damn chickens. And there’s her in-laws. They rely on her. I couldn’t drag her away from that.”
“But her husband’s dead, right?” Cam asked.
“Way to be tactful, man.” Gray shook his head.
Logan lifted a brow. “Yeah, he’s been gone for two years. But she’s still close to his parents. From what I can tell, they’re like parents to her, too. Her mom died when she was a kid and she doesn’t see much of her dad.”
“What about the baby?” Gray asked, tipping his head to the side. “How are you gonna manage that with you in Boston and Courtney here?”
“I’ll fly back for my custody time. At least for the first year. After that, we’ll take it from there.” He inhaled deeply, ignoring the strange tug in his chest. “It’s not easy, but I want to make it work. I don’t want the baby growing up not knowing who I am.”
Gray caught his eye, his expression full of sympathy. “That’s gonna be hard on you all.”
“I don’t have a choice,” Logan pointed out. “My business is in Boston. I can’t run it from here full-time. Believe me, I’ve thought about whether it’s possible, but it’s not. It’s taken me years to get it to this place. It’s part of me, too.” And that was the thing keeping him awake at night. Trying to fit all these misshapen pieces of puzzle into the craziness that was his world. None of them wanted to slot in. It was frustrating not being able to solve the problems surrounding him. And then there were all the damn demands on his time.
“She’s a beautiful woman,” Gray said, looking at her sleeping form. “How will you feel if she gets married? Gives your kid a stepdad?”
Logan’s grip on his bottle tightened, his knuckles blanching. “How do you think I’d feel? But I’d have no right to stop her.” The kicker was, he wanted her to be happy.
But he also wanted to be the one to make her feel that way.
“You got a while to sort things out,” Cam murmured. “It’s six months until the baby’s due.”
“And your restaurant’s opening next month,” Gray agreed, giving Cam the slightest of nods. “How’s that going?”
“Good.” Logan pressed his lips together, ignoring the bitter taste in his mouth. “You guys coming out for the opening night?”
“Yep. Maddie’s sister is gonna look after the kids so we can make a weekend of it.” Gray’s face lit up as he spoke.
“And you know I’ll be there. No game that weekend.” Cam patted his brother on the back. “Now stop moping and put a smile on your face. It’s Christmas, and all the family is here. It’s time to start celebrating.”
“Movie’s over.” The soft words woke her from her reverie. Courtney blinked her eyes open, aware of warm breath on her cheek. She knew it was Logan without having to look. The way her skin heated up at his proximity was clue enough.
She glanced up at the screen. She’d dozed on and off all through the movie, and now the credits were scrolling up. “What time is it?” she asked.
“Almost midnight. I’ll take you home so you can hang up your stocking.”
She smiled sleepily. “I think I might be too late for that.”
Her whole body ached as she stood, and Logan walked around the sofa to help her. They said their farewells to his family, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, then walked out of the huge, vibrant house into the darkness of Christmas Day.
“I should have taken you home hours ago,” Logan told her as he helped her down the steps toward the SUV he’d rented. “You look beat.”
“I wanted to stay,” she said, her voice thick with exhaustion. “I had a good evening.”