I called all night and you never picked up.
Why can’t you love me the way you love your damn restaurants?
He’d heard all that and more. And they’d been right, every one of them. He’d had enough therapy to know he was simply bad at relationships. Hadn’t had one yet that ended in a good way.
And it looked like this one was going in exactly the same direction.
So why did his heart feel like it was being squeezed by a vice grip?
“I’ll leave for the airport at sun up,” he told her, pressing his lips together. “Maybe we should just… I don’t know… let this go. I don’t want to cause you any more pain.” His chest felt heavy, making it harder to breathe.
“You think we should end it?” Her eyes looked glassy.
“Don’t you?”
Her bottom lip trembled. “I guess… if you think we should. It’s not as though we could ever be anything more than friends.” She glanced up at him. “Right?”
“Right.” He nodded firmly.
Her gaze dipped again. Shit, it was getting hard to breathe. Like his chest was full of whatever sickness she had. Why the hell couldn’t he do this right?
She turned on her side and grabbed a tissue from the side table. “Sorry, I need to blow my nose.” She blew loudly, then took a long, deep breath. “You’re right. We’re risking too much and for what? Sex?” Her shoulders shook, as though she was laughing. He wasn’t sure whether he was glad he couldn’t see her face or not. All he knew was that the pain in his chest wasn’t going away. Instead, it kept getting tighter and tighter.
The sound of an engine starting up rumbled through the room, the loud hum decreasing as the car drove away.
“I guess he’s gone,” Logan said, his eyes trained on her bare back. Her shoulders were hunched, her two wing-like blades prominent through her lustrous skin. “Maybe I should go, too. In case he comes back.”
She nodded, her hair moving up and down. “Yeah, you probably should.”
The shivers she’d thought had gone thanks to Logan’s chicken soup and hot shower returned tenfold as soon as he left her bedroom. Courtney’s body trembled beneath the blankets as she heard the front door slam shut, then a few moments later the roar of his rental car. A sob escaped from her lips, and she put her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound even though there was nobody there to hear it.
There was nobody here at all except for her. And there wouldn’t ever be. She was all alone. Again.
Hot tears rolled down her already-heated cheeks, pooling at her chin before dropping to the mattress. She’d been such a fool. For a moment there, she’d hoped he’d contradict her. Tell her this was more than a hook up for him. That he’d begun to fall for her the way she was falling for him. But instead he’d walked away.
She should be grateful for his honesty. She knew that. And for the fact he had enough sense to know this was going nowhere. It couldn’t. There was no way she was ready to start another relationship. No way she could tell Ellis and Mary – or Carl – that she was replacing Shaun with a suave restaurant executive who lived in Boston.
She owed them more than that. All of them.
She rolled onto her back, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, then grabbed her phone, quickly scrolling down her contacts until she reached Lainey’s name.
Can you come over in the morning? I need your help.
She sent the message quickly. Three little dots appeared on the screen, telling her Lainey was awake and replying.
Sure. Is everything okay?
Courtney slid her fingers across the keyboard, quickly tapping out a response.
Not really. But it will be. I just really need my best friend tomorrow.
Lainey’s answer came back quickly.
You’ve got me, babe. I’ll be over first thing in the morning. I’ll bring us some pancakes. xx
Courtney blinked back the fresh tears that sprung to her eyes. It was okay. Or it would be. She’d gotten through so many worse things than this. She’d tell Lainey about it, they’d eat all the pancakes, and somehow life would go back to normal.
Without him, and the way he made her feel.