I gripped on to the counter and used it to help me to the edge of the kitchen, and then I was alone, only my own two feet to stand on. The first few steps were wobbly, but the closer to the door I got, the more strength flowed through me. This would be the first time I saw Jax since that night, and as I unlocked the door and opened it for him, I knew I shouldn’t have been scared.
Relief flowed through me at the sight of his face, and no sooner was the door fully open did he have his arms wrapped around me, keeping me standing.
“Fuck, El.” He squeezed tighter, causing my ribs to ache a little, but I didn’t care. He lifted me off the floor, my feet dangling in the air. “I knew I should’ve come down to the fuckin’ lake house to see you.” His voice was gruff, but there was a softness to it that I only heard when he spoke to certain people. He pulled back a little, my feet hitting the floor, and his hands moved to either side of my face. “How are you?”
“Good,” I whispered. It wasn’t a total lie, not like it had been when I said it a few weeks ago. “I’m doing okay now.”
“Are you really? Or am I talking to the Elodie who protects herself from everything around her?”
I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. “Really. I am.” I blew out a breath. “You just freaked me out a little.” I slapped his chest, laughing. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to try and break a door down when you knock?”
He chuckled, a sound I hadn’t heard in what felt like forever. “I blame my big hands.” He winked, held them up in the air like he was showing me the evidence, and wiggled his brows up and down.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” I pulled back and pointed at the still open front door. “Lock that behind you.” I took a few steps back, not looking away as he closed and locked it. I had to make sure no one could get in, even though he was here with me. “You want something to drink?”
“I’ll take a beer,” he said, following me into the living room and then the kitchen.
“Of course you will.” I opened the refrigerator and pulled out one of Asher’s bottles of beers, then handed it to him. “I didn’t hear your bike pull up.” I frowned as the words left my mouth because I really hadn’t heard it. You always heard him or a member of his club before you actually saw them.
“I’m in the cage.”
“You mean car.” I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. Jax had only been here a few minutes, and already, I felt more and more like myself. My old self.
“Car. Cage.” He shrugged and leaned against the counter opposite me. “Same difference.” I didn’t reply because I knew I’d never win. He had a special name for everything, like the leather vest he and the rest of the motorcycle club wore. “So…” Jax’s gaze slid from mine, and he glanced around the room. “You moved in with Asher, huh?”
“Yep.”
He nodded, took a pull of his beer, then placed it next to him. “He looking after you?”
“He is.”
“Good.”
The silence stretched between us, and I knew there was something else he wanted to say, but I wasn’t willing to pull it out of him. He’d come to me, not the other way around. “Asher won’t be home for a few hours,” I told him, not sure what else to say.
“I know. He told me you were here alone.” His gaze met mine again, and I could see the concern in his eyes. Asher hadn’t wanted me to be home alone for the whole day, and each day there seemed to be another person who turned up an hour later than the day before.
“Figured as much.” I waited again, but when he didn’t say anything else, I conceded. “Say it.”
I watched the emotions on his face go from sadness to concern and then finally anger. “You want me to kill him?”
I spluttered, not expecting that to come out of his mouth. “Wh-what?”
“Say the word, and he’s dead.”
“Who? Asher?”
“No.” He chuckled and picked his beer back up as if he was having a run-of-the-mill conversation. “Knox.”
Just hearing his name had goose bumps spreading over my skin, and not the good kind. I’d only said his name in my head. I hadn’t heard it out loud, not since I’d given my statement to the police.
“I mean it, El.” Jax stood to his full height, the same height as Asher. He was a foreboding kind of man, one that told you with a single look not to fuck with him. But I’d never seen Jax like that. “Nothing will come back on you or me. I’ll make sure it’s done properly. You’ll never have to worry about him again.”
I stared at him, wondering whether to take him up on his offer. With Knox no longer in this world, I’d be able to start over. I could put it all behind me and not have to live in fear that he could be just around the corner, waiting for me. But…I couldn’t. I wasn’t that person. I’d never be that person.
“No.” My voice was shaky, my words unsure. “That’s the easy way out.” I clutched the bottom of my neck, trying to center myself. “If he dies, he doesn’t have to serve out his punishment.” I inhaled a breath. “And he should be punished for what he did. He should have to spend his days locked up in a cell with nothing to do but think about why he’s there.”
Jax stayed silent for several minutes, his attention not moving off of me. “I get it.” He drank the last of his beer and placed the bottle in the sink. “But just know, if you change your mind, all it takes is one call.” He stepped toward me. “And it’ll be taken care of.”