“Right.” She cleared her throat, and I felt her shuffle an inch away. I desperately wanted to reach out to her and pull her closer, to put my arm around her and just…be. But I was in my own head, thinking about what would happen from here. I needed to talk to my dad, but I didn’t know when I’d be able to without alerting Elodie to it. I didn’t want her to worry about me, all I wanted her to concentrate on was her. On getting better. Becoming stronger. Healing, both on the inside and outside.
“You know,” I started, trying to change the subject. “We’ve never been on a proper date.”
“Huh?”
I glanced over at her, laughing at the confusion on her face. “I’ve never taken you out on a proper date.”
“Oh.” Elodie chuckled, but I could sense it was uneasy. “I’ve never really been the dating type.” She bit down on her bottom lip, her navy-blue eyes looking lighter in the afternoon sun. “I’d much rather stay in and watch a movie or something.”
“We have popcorn,” I told her, swishing my feet in the lake water. “What kind of movie do you want to watch?”
She stared at me, her attention not wavering even for a second. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to watch a movie?” Her eyes narrowed on me. “It’s as if you’re trying to distract me.” She tilted her head to the side, not letting up for even a second. “You know I can see something is bothering you, right?” I didn’t answer her. I refused to acknowledge it. I may have bared part of myself to her on the boat earlier, but this was different. This was about protecting her. About making sure she was safe, whether that meant I was a free man or not.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Her chest moved as she took a deep breath. “You don’t want to talk about it at all?” She raised her brow. “Or you don’t want to talk about it with me?” I stared at her, not sure what the right thing to say was. If I told her I didn’t want to talk about it with her, it could hurt her feelings, and that was the last thing I wanted. So instead of saying anything, I kept silent. Sometimes saying nothing was the best path to take.
Her shoulders drooped, and she glanced away. “Okay.” She blew out a breath. “I get it.”
“Elodie—”
“Your mom will be calling me in a few minutes.” She looked down at her cell next to her. My mom had been calling her every day since we’d gotten here. She’d even gotten in touch with her high school and had them email all her work over so she wouldn’t fall behind. “Maybe we can watch a movie after that?”
She was offering me an out, agreeing to the distraction I’d given to her, and I didn’t hesitate for a second to accept it. “Sounds like a plan.” I pulled my feet out of the water and stood. “What kind of movie, then?”
She grinned up at me. “Action. Always action.”
I winked. “You’re my kinda girl.”
She snorted, followed up by a laugh, but it wasn’t the fake kind. It was the throw-your-head-back uncontrollable kind. The kind which pulled me to her even more. Each day I learned something new about Elodie, and each day I fell deeper and deeper. Her burn was soul-deep, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Chapter Eight
ELODIE
The day started out exactly the same as the eight previous to it.
I woke up with Asher next to me on the chair asleep. He refused to sleep in another room, and if I were honest, I preferred to have him in here with me. I felt safer with him around, within arm’s reach. The birds sang outside the window as the sun rose, and I watched from the deck as the cool morning air whipped around me. I’d made it back to the bedroom and into the bathroom without waking Asher up, and for the first time in over a week, I looked at myself in the mirror.
I didn’t skim my gaze over my reflection. Instead, I stared, bone-deep, cataloging each of my features. The bruises had more or less faded now, leaving behind a darkish glow and a few spots where the swelling hadn’t fully gone down. But that was only my face. My ribs still ached, although not half as bad, but it was the soreness between my legs that reminded me the most. Every time I used the bathroom, it stung, and I knew it was from where the assault had grazed me inside, which meant I was never far away from it. It was always there, a subtle reminder to not let go completely.
It didn’t matter how much I wanted to move on. Reality was, I’d never be the same again, so I had to adjust to the new me—the me who had scars on the outside and inside. The me who was determined to wage the war I’d been thrown into. I’d slowly collected the right weapons, and now that I knew how to semi-use them, I could fight back.
That was what I told myself anyway. But as I stared into my eyes and witnessed the sadness shadowing them, I worried I’d never win. That I’d always be a few steps behind everyone else. Would people see me differently now? Would they treat me a certain kind of way? Would they hate me? Think I was fragile? I didn’t know what would happen from here. All I could be sure of was having Asher at my side.
I smiled at the thought of him. Over the last few days, since we’d been out on the boat, we’d been closer than ever. He’d told me more about his time as a Marine. He reeled off stories about him and Jax, both good and bad, and I felt like I was part of it. I felt like I was on the inside and not on the outskirts, something which had never happened before. I knew he was leaving me in the dark with some things, but it was inevitable. It wasn’t like I was over here telling him about every single time Knox had laid his hands on me, so why would he do the same?
We were bridging the gap, getting to know each other on a level neither of us had before. But nothing made me feel as close as when we’d watch a movie on the sofa, popcorn between us, our fingers intertwined. It was a small thing, something which most teenagers did, but it was big for us. He was touching me with my permission, and I slowly felt my control over my body coming back to me.
“Elodie?” I jumped at Asher’s sleepy voice. “You in there?”
“Yeah, I…” I spun around and stared at the door, expecting it to open any minute. “I’m just getting in the shower.”
“Okay.” His voice was close, so close it was as if he was talking to me through the small gap where the door closed. “I’m gonna go shower too, then we can head into town and get some food for tomorrow?”