CHAPTER13
Kim swallowed and tried not to let her nerves get the best of her. He was right. Everyone at the club knew she was a newbie. And if she did screw up, it wouldn’t be the first time. She still remembered the night Ali had brought her to visit Serpent’s Kiss. She’d stumbled over herself when she’d met Brandon, calling him Sir and blushing like a schoolgirl. Kim had survived that. She could this too. And she would have Justin there guiding her. She only had to let him.
“Let’s start with the easy stuff,” he said. “Tell me about the blow jobs you’ve given?”
Her eyes went wide. “What?”
Justin smirked. “You’ve marked love to give on your list, but I want to know your level of experience with them.”
“Um...” She had to look like a deer caught in the headlights. She felt like one. Kim had no clue what to say. No guy had ever asked her something like that before. “I don’t know. Average, I guess.”
When she didn’t elaborate, he pressed further. “Do you prefer soft and gentle or rough and deep? Have you ever deep throated?”
Her level of embarrassment hiked up another notch. She could feel the heat radiating from her face. Did he really need to know this? She’d never talked about her prior sexual encounters with anyone besides Ali, and her best friend hadn’t ever asked her if she’d sucked her boyfriend’s cock down her throat. “Um...medium, I guess.”
“So not too rough, but not too gentle either.” He refocused on the papers in front of them, but she thought that was more for her benefit than his. “What about deep throating?”
“I tried once, but I gagged.”
He nodded, then moved on to the next subject. “What about hair pulling? You marked I don’t know. A guy’s never pulled your hair during sex?”
“I don’t think so.” She blew out a loud breath. “Do we really need to go over this in such...detail?”
Justin met her gaze. “Yes. I need to know what you like, what you don’t like, and what you’re willing to explore. I can’t do that if I don’t have all the information.”
While that made sense, it didn’t make it any less embarrassing. “What about you?”
The smirk was back. “Which one? The hair pulling or the blow jobs?”
His eyes were dancing with amusement, but it didn’t make her feel self-conscious...or at least any more self-conscious than she already was. “Both.”
Reaching out, he cupped the back of her head and twisted a fistful of hair around his hand. “I love to pull my partner’s hair. And as for blow jobs, I love receiving them in any form, but I would enjoy feeling my cock hit the back of your throat.” He leaned in and, with a gentle tug on her hair, whispered in her ear, “We can always work on your gag reflex.”
Heat surged between her legs. “Okay.”
Then, to her disappointment, he released her and turned his attention back to their lists. For the next hour, he had her explain, in detail, her level of experience on everything she’d marked love,like, dislike, and soft limit.
It was strange to sit down and talk about her preferences in the bedroom and what she’d done in the past with other partners, but the more they talked, the more comfortable she felt. Kim wasn’t sure what she’d expected a relationship with Justin to be like, but this much discussion about sex and preferences didn’t come close to anything she’d ever done with a boyfriend.
In fact, the only conversation she’d ever really had with a guy regarding sex was with her first college boyfriend. They’d each only been with one other person before and had both been awkward and unsure of what they were doing. The whole thing had lasted no more than five minutes and consisted of whether she was on birth control and if they should wait or not since they’d only been going out for a month. It was nothing like sitting across a table with Justin and talking about what her favorite positions had been, or her level of experience when it came to blow jobs.
She’d got to ask him a few questions as well, although he didn’t seem bothered by any of them. Most of them came up when they were talking about the things she marked as dislike. He had a lot of questions about those and after he asked her why she disliked anal sex, she turned the question around on him. “Why, you like it?”
Justin smirked. “Well, for one, it feels amazing. The visual isn’t bad either.” Then he got serious again. “Now explain to me what it is you don’t like about it. Did you have a bad experience?”
Just thinking about it made her sore and not in the good morning after type of way. “You could say that.”
“Tell me.”
It really wasn’t something she wanted to talk about or remember, for that matter, but they’d talked about every other embarrassing sexual encounter she’d had, so why not. “He was behind me and, well, you know.” She blew out a breath. “It hurt. A lot. I screamed. He stopped. End of story.”
Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for Justin. “Where were you when it happened? Did he prepare you? Use any type of lubrication?”
She could feel her cheeks warming again. “We were in a bathroom. It was a party and we were a little buzzed. We were both horny, so we snuck into his friend’s master bathroom, locked the door, and started moving clothes out of the way.”
Kim was hoping she could leave it at that, but of course, Justin wanted more. “Go on.”
“There isn’t much more.” She shrugged. “He bent me over the counter and somewhere in the middle of it, he pulled out. When he”—she cleared her throat and looked down—“well, it tried to enter a different hole.”
“So no preparation and no lube.”
“I don’t know what you mean by preparation, and we’d been having sex, so he was...you know...wet from...”
Justin shook his head. “That isn’t enough. Anal sex requires the muscles to be stretched beforehand.” He frowned. “It also takes more lubrication than the human body can naturally produce. At least not unless inducing pain is the goal.”
Again, she cringed, remembering.
He took her hand in his and gave it a comforting squeeze. “We’ll leave it off the table for now, but just know that when done right, anal sex can be pleasurable for both parties and I’d love it if you’d give me a chance to show you one day.”
A flutter began in the pit of her stomach. The tender look in his eyes made her think that maybe with him it would be different. Their one night together had been worlds apart from her previous sexual experiences. Why wouldn’t other things she’d experienced?
Once they’d gone through both their lists, Justin stood. “Do you have any other questions for me regarding the lists?”
Kim shook her head. “I don’t think so. But...”
“But?”
“How? I mean, what do I do as your submissive? Even though I’ve watched the subs at the club, I’ve never done this before.”
Justin helped her from the chair and led her down the hallway to the bedroom where they’d spent the first part of their night together. She was immediately flooded with memories. Heat began pooling between her thighs in preparation.
He turned to face her, cupping her cheek with his hand. “We need to talk about protocol.”
“Protocol?”
“What I expect of you.” His thumb rubbed along her bottom lip. “As my submissive.”
“Okay.” She wanted to lean into him, to forget about everything else. Hadn’t they waited long enough? It had been over three months. She wanted to feel him inside her again.
“First, you will call me Sir whenever we are playing.”
“How will I know when that is?”
He slid his hand down to grip the back of her neck. “If we’re at the club, or in this room, then we’re playing. Outside of that...you’ll learn how to read my signals.” One side of his mouth tilted up into a half smile. “If I tell you to get to your knees, that’s a good indication.”
Kim tried to concentrate on what he was saying. This was important. “But what if I don’t want to play?”
“Did Ali talk to you about safewords?” he asked.
“Yes.” Kim recalled the first time she’d heard a submissive at the club use their safeword. She and Ali had been hanging out with Daniel when another couple had stopped by to speak with him. She’d seen Alexander and Grace around Serpent’s Kiss, she’d even watched them do a scene on her first night as an official member, but she’d never met them directly before that night. As Daniel and Alexander talked, the conversation turned to their time in the military. Kim had begun to space out, not overly interested in their conversation, when she’d heard Grace say mushroom. All conversation had stopped and Alexander had taken Grace to one of the quieter areas of the club. As soon as she’d been alone with Ali, she’d questioned her friend. Ali had explained that mushroom was Grace’s safeword.
“Do you remember your safeword?”
“Yes. My safeword is teddybear.” Then she recalled what he’d said moments before about being in this room. “Sir.”
He grinned, seeming to be pleased that she’d remembered and corrected herself.
“Because you’re new to this, I’d also like to use elements of the stoplight system.” Her confused look must have given away her lack of understanding because he continued. “If something isn’t right, say the ropes I bind you with are too tight or your leg is beginning to cramp, say the word yellow. That tells me that while you don’t want to stop playing, I need to assess the situation before continuing.”
She’d heard yellow used before when she’d ventured upstairs at the club. “What if you do something I don’t like?”
“You’re asking very good questions.” His fingers began massaging her scalp and she let her eyes drift closed, sinking into the feel of his hands finally being on her again. “Submission is about giving up control, which means letting me guide the scene where I want it to go. If you don’t like the position I’ve placed you in, you can say yellow, wait for me to ask you to explain, and then I will decide if I want to adjust the scene or not. Safewords, however, are to be used in situations where something isn’t right and the situation needs to be assessed, not because you’d rather something different be happening. When we talk about the scene after, you can tell me what you liked and didn’t like.”
Kim knew that would be hard for her. Sure, she’d given up control to him once before, and she’d enjoyed every minute of it, but they weren’t only talking about one night. Could she give him complete control of their sex life?
“Tell me what you’re thinking?” he asked.
“I just hope I can do it. Not tell you what I want while we’re...playing. Or if I don’t like something.”
That sly smile pulled at Justin’s lips again. “I seem to remember you giving off some pretty clear signals of your enjoyment the last time.”
The blush was back, but she was less bothered by it this time. Maybe it was because they were in this room and not at his kitchen table. “I just want this to work,” she whispered.
Justin stepped forward, closing the gap between them, bringing their bodies flush. He tilted her head back so her mouth was a breath away from his. Her hands went to his sides. “If we talk things over with each other, the rest can be figured out.”
Her heart was pounding, and she felt hot all over. “All right.”
He backed her up against the wall, pressing his body into hers. She could feel his erection pressing against her belly. All she wanted to do was lose herself in Justin. Couldn’t the talk of safewords and whatever else wait?
Seeming to read her mind, he brought their noses together and locked his gaze with hers. “If something isn’t right and you want the scene to stop, say teadybear and I’ll stop the scene.”
“Are we going to play now?” Why she spoke, she had no idea. All she wanted him to do was kiss her. She didn’t want to talk anymore.
His only answer was a hard kiss that pressed her body flush against the hard surface at her back.
Her eyes fluttered closed as she held on, desperate to be as close to him as she could. As his tongue played with hers, darting in and out of her mouth, she reached for the button on his jeans. She wanted to feel his cock in her hands.
Fingers wrapped around her wrist, stopping her movement. She opened her eyes and gazed up at him, not sure why he’d stopped.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Justin had lost his head for a moment, the desire to kiss her overwhelming him. That hadn’t happened to him for over a decade. Normally, when he was with a submissive, he was in complete control. But his need for her was clouding his better judgment. They should have talked about safewords and protocol in the kitchen.
But it was too late now. His cock was rock-hard and he could feel the heat of her breath on his face from her labored breathing. A little voice in the back of his head screamed at him that he shouldn’t be doing this with her, but it was being drowned out by a larger voice that said she was his and always had been.
He brought her hand to rest on his chest while he tried to get his own breathing under control. It was so easy to let go with her. And he wanted to let go, to lose himself in her, but they needed to finish what they’d started. Even if it killed him.
Raising an eyebrow, he waited for an answer to his question.
She blinked, her brown eyes rich with her arousal. “I want to touch you.”
“When we’re in this room, I’m in control. If you want to touch, you need to ask.”
“I can’t touch you?”
Justin moved her hand back down, this time to cup his erection. “I didn’t say that. But in here, when we’re playing, I call the shots. You obey.” He could see her mind working. Even though Kim was the baby of her family, she was extremely independent. He knew this was going to be a challenge for her. “I’m a very agreeable Dom, though, so if you ask me nicely, I’ll likely grant you permission.”
“Only in here?” she asked.
“And at the club.” He paused. “For now.”
Her eyes opened wide. “For now?”
“Relationships evolve over time, even D/s ones. You may find you like asking my permission.”
Kim looked doubtful. “I don’t know about that.”
Justin took her wrist and guided her hand back to the top of his jeans. He didn’t say more, just waited to see what she’d do. His cock was aching, but he’d been doing this for a long time. He knew how to control himself. Usually.
Several very long moments passed before she spoke. “May I touch you?”
“Are you forgetting something?” She looked confused. “How do you address me when we’re in this room?”
“May I touch you, Sir?”
He released her wrist. “You may.”
Kim wasted no time slipping her hand beneath the fabric of his jeans. His cock pulsed at the first brush of her fingers. The zipper gave way when she wrapped her fingers around him.
It was still too constricting for his liking, so he pushed the jeans down his hips, freeing him the rest of the way. He rarely wore underwear when he was hanging around the house, and today he was grateful. It was one less thing between them.
She didn’t miss a beat and began pumping her hand from base to tip. It felt so good to have her touching him freely like this. For so long he’d dreamed of her hands, her mouth, her tits...
He sank his fingers into her hair and captured her mouth with his, angling her head the way he wanted it. Her eager response only encouraged him. He deepened the kiss, pressing their bodies together, trapping her hand between them.
His cock pulsed in her hand, driving him mad. He wanted everything at once...her hands...her mouth...
Tilting her head back, Justin kissed down her jaw to her neck. As he neared the base of her neck near her collarbone, she released the most delicious moan. Her hand squeezed his cock and he knew in that moment what he wanted.
He released her and took a step back, waiting until she met his gaze. “Get on your knees. I want to feel your mouth around my cock.”
This time, she didn’t hesitate. Kim knelt before him and brought her lips a breath away from his erection. She looked up at him with a level of sweet innocence that mocked what she was about to do. “May I suck your cock, Sir?”
Instead of answering her with words, he took hold of the back of her head and guided her mouth the rest of the way home.