7
BILLIE’S POV
Where was my tank top? I wasn't even sure anymore. At some point during the intense kissing, it must have been ripped off and thrown to the side. My bra as well. Grant's hands were all over my body, touching me everywhere, tugging and teasing my nipples into oblivion. Holy fuck, those fingers knew just what buttons to press.
The way he touched me was hungry and needy. He absolutely wanted to touch every peak and every dip of my body, and shit, I needed to let him. I kept rolling my hips, grinding against him, aching for more.
He had me breathless, desperate, on fire. It wasn't the same as when I was with Cody though, there was a newness here which really got me going.
By the time I wrapped my fingers around his rock hard cock, I had lost my mind. All the tension that had been balling up inside me for days dissipated into nothingness. My God, my feet weren't even touching the floor anymore, my head was absolutely spinning with desire. I was off in freaking space somewhere. It was intense. Especially as his hands somehow managed to slip between my thighs at the same time. He massaged my soaking wet slit as I really felt every inch of him.
"Wow, Grant!" I murmured as his lips kissed me all over. "Oh God, don't stop."
He plunged his fingers deep within me, finger fucking me hard and fast. He was just as expert at touching me as he was performing Yoga. There was just something electrifying and magnetic, something powerful and overwhelming. He was smooth, sultry, seductive, and I was happily getting sucked in.
"Fucking hell!" I tossed my head back and nearly screamed as he thumbed my clit. I lost my grip on him, which was a real shame, but I didn't know what else I could do. I didn't have any control over myself anymore. I was tingling all over, buzzing from head to toe. My toes were curled under. "Fuck, Grant, that's..."
I was on the edge. I didn't want to fall because I was enjoying the pressure of pleasure building within me, but I couldn't help it. Grant was too good, too powerful, he was pushing me up the mountain whether I wanted to or not...
And then I fell. I fell hard and fast, my whole body bucking with need as I did. Luckily Grant kissed me hard to swallow up any of my screams because the pleasure that cascaded through me was just too intense. It absolutely swallowed me up whole. I was sure that if the sound had burst free, it would have sounded like a wolf howl, and would have brought everyone out here. The last thing I wanted was an audience...
An audience that would involve Cody. Shit. As soon as I thought about him, all the heat ebbed away from my body––ice cold guilt washed over me instead. The reason we were arguing was because he said he wanted to spend more time with me, and I was trying my hardest to keep him at arm's length until I had worked out the right way to tell him the truth. I didn't think this would help things.
"Shit, Grant, I'm sorry, I..." I stammered as I reached out for him. Without me even needing to ask him, he handed me my top and bra, knowing that this wasn't going to go any further. That only made me feel worse because he was just so sweet. I felt like I was screwing everything up. "Sorry, I know... I shouldn't... we just..."
He smiled at me sweetly, not bothered at all. "Billie, don't worry, I get it. We got caught up in the heat of the moment. Things are already complicated enough."
I nodded gratefully. Thank God he understood because I did not need any more pressure added on my shoulders. I hugged him tight and kissed him before we both backed away from one another. "You're such a good person, Grant. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate your friendship."
He was doing everything in his power to make me feel okay about what just happened. The judgment was only coming from within me. I couldn't forget that wolves didn't see relationships in the same way as non-shifters. Polyamory was completely normal and acceptable––they wouldn't think anything of it.
I'd never given it much thought, but perhaps monogamy wasn't the way forward. Maybe it wasn't the right way for me. Who the hell knew?
Once the pair of us were dressed, we headed back towards the safe house together, but very much not together. I wasn't sure if anyone would be able to pick up on the new vibes between us, but I was going to be acutely aware that it was there.
And it was good vibes as well, wasn't it? Even though shit was definitely a little bit complicated, it was great vibes. Grant was way too easy to talk to, he was such a good friend, and the steamy chemistry that we had between us was insane. But the friendship was what I was going to focus on. For now.
"We should do Yoga more often," I said just before we headed inside. "The workout was a lot of fun, and my body does feel a lot better now."
I didn't know if that came out in a flirty manner. I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be flirty. But Grant winked at me and gave me a cheeky smile before we parted ways. He was going to linger on my mind for a very long time which was... distracting. Like I needed any more distractions in my damn life.
"Mommy, there you are!" Joey caught sight of me first. He raced towards me and flung his arms around me, grinning from ear to ear. "I missed you, but I've been doing lots of work. Do you want to see everything that I've done?"
I nodded and took a seat beside Joey. He flicked through endless paperwork that somehow Phoenix had managed to make fun for him. He had a magic touch with my son, I needed to get some advice from him to find out how I could be better at homeschooling. I could do the mom thing easily, but being a teacher as well...
That was something else. I wasn't so good at that.
All of a sudden, an egg yolk of panic trickled down my spine, freezing me all over. There were eyes on me, prickling the hairs up on the back of my neck. I turned around slowly, swallowing hard because I had no idea what I was about to face. It didn't feel like danger though, I was pretty sure it wasn't the Russians, but...
Cody.He was leaning against the door frame and staring at me with dark hooded eyes. I couldn't see if that was anger or desire dancing behind his gaze, but it made me stiffen. Did he know? Had he caught me and Grant? Oh fuck, how the hell was I going to explain myself away if he'd seen us at it?
There was definitely something pointed in his eyes, but I didn't know what the message was. I parted my lips ever so slightly, about to ask him, but the fact that my son was beside me stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't.
And then, just as quickly as he appeared, Cody headed towards the front door and walked into the woodland surrounding the house. I caught a little glimpse of him shifting into his wolf form, which meant I absolutely had no chance of talking to him now.
I deflated, leaned back in my seat, and sunk deeper into the cushions. I would have to find a way to speak to him later on when he got back. Even if I drove myself crazy while I was waiting for him to return.
"There's food on the table if you guys want it," Jasper poked his head through the door and declared. "The soups and bread are finally ready, if you want them?"
Joey jumped up instantly, forgetting what we were just talking about. His hunger overtook any worries about his school work, which was good. Only I didn't share his appetite at all. The events of the day had left me confused with my stomach churning. I left Joey in the dining room and wandered around the house as my brain ticked over. I was going to have to come up with some solution soon enough, or I would end up driving myself insane.
"What am I going to do?" I asked myself cautiously. "What the hell can I do?"
The more I tried to gather up my thoughts and put them in some kind of order, the messier they became. I wasn't sure if even Yoga and meditation would work now. I returned to the living room to have some lunch, my mind still all over the place. I wished that I had simple answers to the questions haunting my every waking moment today.
Once they were done eating, Joey, Phoenix, and Grant started playing with the Lego set again. Honestly, I felt like I'd been pretty useless today. Like I hadn't been there much for my son at all. I was too busy getting distracted by everything else. We were just so lucky to have these kick ass men around us to help out.
"Do you guys mind if I take a bubble bath?" I was hoping that would help me out––something to clear my head. "I won't be too long."
"You go, have fun." Phoenix waved his hand dismissively. "We're fine."
He meant that as well, he truly did. There weren't many people I found it easy to relax around, much less see my son with, but these men allowed me to relax. There was something about all of them that I admired greatly.
I headed up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and grabbed my robe from my bedroom. I also gathered my toiletries and an old school radio as well because I wanted this to be a really relaxing time. I needed that.
Maybe I needed to clear my body as well as my mind. Perhaps clearing everything off would help me. Since nothing else had worked, I had to give it a try. It was just a bit problematic that I had to pass all the guys’ bedrooms on the way. Phoenix’s, which made my chest heat up with warmth because I was over the moon with how sweet a guy he was. Then there was Grant's, who, of course, made me feel phenomenal. I mean, what had happened between us today was powerful, I couldn’t even think of pushing that to one side because of my history with Cody. Of course, then there was Jasper, and I couldn't let go of the intensity there. I had no idea what it was between us, but it damn near knocked me off my feet.
I actually paused in front of Cody's door, just to sigh to myself sadly. I even pressed my hand to the door, wishing tat he was inside, hoping that I could push that door open and see him. But then I couldn't just go in there without opening up to him, could I? I couldn't continue to keep this from him, it wasn’t fair.
Eventually, I left the bedrooms, and I found the bathroom. I made sure to lock the door behind me, because I didn't want anyone to accidentally stumble in on me like I had done Cody. That was the last thing I needed!
Once I was sure that I was totally alone, I flicked the taps on and poured in the mixture to watch the bubbles appear. The sight of them was instantly calming, even more so when I found a radio station playing some soft music.
This was good, this was what I needed. I already felt a bit like I could quite easily block the rest of the world out for a little while here. Perfect.
I peeled my slightly sticky clothing off once the tub was full and sunk into the bubbles. The tight knots in my muscles relaxed just a little. I even managed to slide my eyes closed and chill just a little bit. I let the water rush over me.
The men flooded my mind, which wasn't the most helpful, but instead of trying to fight the thoughts, I let them flow through me.
Mostly, I got caught up in Grant and Cody, but not in a comparing them kind of way. It was more the thought of the both of them. There was no comparing them, they were just so different, but they could potentially complement each other.
Am I really thinking that? I wondered curiously. What is wrong with me?
I guess I had just been thinking a lot about the wolf trait of polyamory. If I let my imagination run wild with it, then it didn't seem such an alien concept after all. I mean, how freaking lucky would I be to have the passionate, sexy Cody and the sultry, seductive Grant all at the same time? The idea sent a shudder down my spine.
I pictured Cody grabbing my naked body from behind, kissing and sucking the exposed skin of my throat. His hands exploring my body, his rock hard cock pressed up against my ass, demanding to be let inside. Then Grant softly cupping my cheeks and gently pressing his lips to mine at the same time. Needily, aching for me, but not in quite so much of a demanding manner.
The contrast was sweet, the butterflies flapping in my core were wonderful. I barely even noticed that my fingers were edging their way down my body until they were between my thighs and massaging myself gently.
The bubbles and the water cascaded around my body as my fingers moved harder and faster inside of me. In my imagination, it wasn't me touching myself, it was the two guys, almost competing who was going to tip me over the edge first. Now that was a competition that I could get on board with. Fuck, in my head, Cody had his tongue between my legs, he was massaging my clit until I could hardly handle it anymore. Tasting me in the way that only he knew how. Grant has his teeth and tongue caressing my nipples, sending a flurry of sensation running all the way through me. Trickling down my body, fizzing in the pit of my stomach, burning at my core, making it impossible for me to keep myself under control.
The groans flying out of my mouth were vibrating in my chest. I knew I was being loud as I touched myself, but I just couldn't stop. The images of these two men all over me, working me over until I could hardly hack it any longer, was too much.
They both put my pleasure first, I knew that from experience, which only made the idea of two of them fucking my brains out that much more exciting. Shit, how the hell did non-shifters decide monogamy was the main way to have a relationship? It seemed insane when this could feel so good. I couldn't get the idea of two pairs of eyes on me out of my head––two men pleasuring me, putting my needs first.
Oh fuck, and they were animals as well. That concept was just too much, the pleasure bundled up inside of me as my cries became much louder than the music. Again, I found myself grateful that everyone else was downstairs so they couldn't hear me, because there was no way I could stop now.
I touched myself faster, plunging deeper within me, the images no longer became coherent but instead just flashes of what it could be like. I saw myself in different positions, holding and touching the men as they did me. I imagined taking Grant's thick throbbing cock to the back of my throat, having Cody buried deep inside of me, I saw different settings to this ménage a trois as well. The gym, the backyard, the shower. It was so hot and heavy that it wasn't long before I tipped myself over the edge. As the pleasure shattered through my body, affecting every single one of my organs, I screamed out the names of the guys over and over again.
Only weirdly, it wasn't even just the guys I'd been fantasizing about whose names came spilling out of my lips at my most vulnerable moment. I cried out in pleasure for Phoenix and Jasper as well, which was an unexpected twist.
But not a bad one. I mean, they were both gorgeous as hell. Seriously hot and sexy. No wonder my heart was on edge, pounding heavily, hard and fast. I let my head sink under the water for a while as I soaked up the post-orgasmic bliss.
Wow! I did not mind the idea of being with two guys at once at all. Sure, that was just a fantasy, I wasn't about to act on it or anything, but I had a feeling that if the chance came around, I wouldn't be opposed to it. In fact, I would freaking love it. I would take the chance with both hands and see if the reality lived up to fantasy.
But then, what were the chances of that really happening? There was a possessiveness in Cody's eyes as he stared at me across the room before he shifted outside the house. It was almost as if he wanted to claim me as his own because we had this shared history. Of course, that was fine, I understood that, but his mind would definitely change when he found out that I hadn't been honest with him.
Urgh! I still wasn't feeling any better, was I? Not really. I could do whatever to try and sort this out in my head, but until I tried to be honest, I definitely wasn't going to be able to recover. I was going to have to do that really hard thing, and the sooner I acted on that, the better. I kept trying to avoid it, because I knew everything was going to explode, but I couldn't do it forever. Not when it was eating me alive like this.
But not yet. I wasn't getting out of the water yet, no way. I might not have felt good here, but this was the calmest I'd been all day long. I needed this sense of being alone, just for a little bit longer...