Kane and I have chatted on the phone during my work breaks, but our conversations have been short and awkward. Right now, we need to talk face-to-face about everything I’m feeling and get it out in the open.
I want the heaviness that sits on my chest gone, and that won’t happen until I see my best friend. Considering I’m off work today, I can drive to Eldorado if he’s free, so I text him.
Hadleigh: Can I come over so we can talk today?
Immediately, his text bubble appears.
Kane: Sure. When?
Hadleigh: In about an hour. I need to get dressed, then I’ll head that way.
Kane: Sounds good. I’m grabbing hay to stock the barn. Wanna meet me at the B&B?
Hadleigh: Actually, can we chat at your house so we’re alone?
Kane: Sure. Text me when you get close.
Hadleigh: Will do.
After I stop by Starbucks and grab a coffee, I make my way there. I practice exactly what I’m going to say. Though I have no idea how he’ll react, I try to mentally prepare myself for anything. He’s stated several times that nothing will come between our friendship, but I don’t know if that’s still the case after last weekend.
When I’m about twenty minutes away, I shoot him a message, and that’s when my nerves get the best of me. I listen to music, but my mind wanders so far that I can’t comprehend the lyrics. So instead, I turn off the radio and roll down the window even though it’s chilly outside.
I pull up to Kane’s house and see him waiting for me on the porch.
Seeing his face crack in two gives me some relief even though it’s hard to look at him the same. Unfortunately, things have changed, and neither of us can deny that.
“Hey,” I say, hopping out of my Jeep with my coffee in hand.
“Howdy. Wanna go inside where it’s warm?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
We go into his living room, and I sit on the opposite end of the couch. Kane doesn’t push me but stares while waiting for me to speak.
I clear my throat, trying to shake off the nerves. “Sorry, I just don’t know where to start.”
He gives me a warm smile. “It’s fine. Take your time. I’m on a break.”
“Okay.” I swallow. “I think we need to talk about last weekend.” Not able to look him in the eyes, I lower mine to the floor. “And as much as I enjoyed what we did, I’ve realized that I don’t want to push our friendship past the limit anymore. My feelings for you just aren’t nearly as strong as the ones you have for me.”
I’m nearly shaking by the time I get the last word out. I hate myself for hurting him, but the longer I waited to tell him, the worse it would’ve been. Several seconds of piercing silence rings out, and I brace myself for what’s to come.
“I know, Hads,” he tells me softly, and I meet his gaze.
“Wait, what?”
“I know you don’t see me as more than a friend, and as much as it sucks, I understand. The last thing I’d want you to do is to pretend your heart is on the same page as mine. That’s not fair to either of us.”
“I really do love you,” I admit. “When you kissed me, it sparked something inside me that I never knew existed. I wanted to explore that and thought maybe if I gave us a chance, I could reciprocate the same romantic feelings.”
He scoots a little closer, flashing me his boyish grin. “I’ve been infatuated with you for so long that I had this whole scenario built up of how great we’d be together. I created something in my head that was never really there, even if I wished it were, and convinced myself I could make you love me if you gave me a chance. Turns out, it doesn’t work like that.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say in a hoarse whisper.
“No. Don’t be, Hads. I was foolish to assume we could just go from best friends to more when we were so good as friends already. This past weekend, I realized that although I’ll always love you, I’m not in love with you. It was more of me being obsessed with the idea of us. We’re much better as friends.”
I swallow back a sob before leaping toward him and wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugs me tightly before releasing me.
“I’ll never regret our time together. Ever,” I tell him honestly, though I don’t think Knox feels the same about our threesome.
As he tenderly brushes my hair off my cheek, he smiles. “Me either. Trust me, it’s goin’ in my spank bank.”
I snort, but then my emotions begin to bubble over, and tears stream down my face.
“Don’t cry,” he says as he gently wipes them away.