Wanting a distraction has motivated me to focus more on the stud expansion. Dad finally made time in his schedule, and I’m going to present everything to him. I’m nervous about his reaction but also excited. If he agrees, we could break ground right after the new year and start full operations by summer.
“Hey, son.” Dad grins when I walk into the house.
“Wanna beer?” I hold up a six-pack.
“That’s why you’re my favorite,” he muses, and I chuckle.
“Yeah, right.”
I hand him a bottle, and he twists it open. “I’m excited to hear about your plan. Tell me everything.”
Taking the seat across from him, I sip my beer, then open the manila envelope. Everything I researched is printed out along with start-up costs, property estimates, and profit and loss calculations.
“A stud master, huh? You know you’re gonna get so much shit for that.” He chuckles, reading through the pages.
“I’ll wear the title proudly.” I shrug with a smirk.
“I know a bit about this process. It’s good money but not always easy. You think you’re up for the challenges? The contracts and dealing with people?”
“Yes, sir. I’m ready for it all. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and I wanna get my hands dirty.” I look down at my calloused palms. “Metaphorically.”
Dad chuckles. “And literally.”
“I’ve wanted to work with horses but never really knew my place. Once I started researching different options, this one stuck out to me. It’ll be something I can manage and run with a small team, something I can be proud of, like you and Mom are with the training business.”
“I respect that, Knox. Doing this with your mother and working with her each day makes me happier than I could ever express. I love that we grew it together. Brings me a lot of pride.”
I nod. “I want pride like that too.”
He sets the stack of papers down and stares intently at me. “I love it, son. I think you’d do amazin’ because I know you don't let it go when you set your mind to something. You’ve always been a stubborn pain in the ass like that.”
Smirking, I can’t even deny it. I’ve always walked to my own beat.
“So you’ll ask Alex for the funds to get it up and running?”
He scoffs as if he’s offended. “Ask? No. I’ll tell him what we’re doing. I don’t need his damn permission. Plus, I already know he’ll be on board.”
“Thanks, Dad. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
He stands and meets me around the table. I get to my feet and hug him. “I do.”
“Honestly, I’ve been scared to say anything. Thought you’d think I couldn’t do it or tell me no.”
He pulls back with a frown. “I’m sorry you thought that. There’s nothing you can’t ask for. If you want to stay and work on the ranch, I want you to be happy here. This life isn’t for everyone, and I’d never want to force any of my kids into it.”
“I’m happy,” I admit, but he looks at me unconvinced.
“Your mom told me about Hadleigh.”
My head falls back with a groan. “C’mon. Not you too.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna lecture you. I just want to give you some advice from a different perspective.”
I don’t bother arguing and just listen.
“I talked myself out of telling your mom how I felt at least a hundred times. So many reasons I wasn’t good enough for her, why she was better off without me, why I couldn’t do relationships—you name it. I believed it too. Her feelings for me were sometimes super obvious and, at other times, very subtle, but I ignored them all. I was too scared to get hurt or that I’d hurt her. Let me tell you, watching the woman you love plan her wedding to another man is the worst fuckin’ pain I’ve ever felt. All my foolish insecurities nearly cost me my entire life. The thought of losing her had me in a tailspin.”
“Then you kissed her the night before her wedding,” I say with a shit-eating grin. By the look on his face, he hadn’t expected me to remember that part.
“Yeah,” he breathes out. “Talk about bad timin’.”
I snort. “Ya think?”
He pats me on the back. “Learn from my mistakes, son. If she even slightly makes her feelings known, don’t let her slip between your fingers. Put yourself out there because then, at the end of the day, at least you can say you tried. That way, you won’t torture yourself with the what-ifs on her wedding day.”
“Jesus. You’re worse than Mom.”
“That’s what happens when you’ve been in love with a woman since you were fifteen.”
“Does that mean I’m going to turn into a love-sick puppy too?”
He grins. “Only if you’re lucky.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
HADLEIGH
The past four days have been weird. I’m almost in a mind-numbing trance, replaying everything that happened last weekend. I had fantasies about being with Knox and Kane, but the fact that it actually happened still blows my mind. At the time, it was fucking amazing. I’d never felt more alive and cherished. Now, I’m not sure I can look either of them in the eye. Which shouldn’t be too hard, considering Knox is back to ignoring me, and I haven’t seen Kane since that night. Thankfully, work keeps me distracted, but it still lingers in the back of my mind.