Shame bubbled inside, and I couldn’t look at him. “I guess, at first I wanted to sell it because of Paige, but not to hurt her. It was to erase the past. To erase my mistakes.”
He scoffed, then climbed into the ATV. “You of all people know you can’t change the past, Lucas. You can grow from it, be hurt by it, heal from it, but nah, you can’t change it. The mistakes we make in our past shape us for the future. The way you two handled things with each other was back asswards. You have the chance to fix it. So it’s up to you. Do you want to fix it? Or move on?”
I shrugged.
“Did you ever stop for five minutes and think that maybe, just maybe, your journey was bringing you right back to the beginning?”
“The beginning, sir?” I asked.
My father smiled and started up the utility vehicle. “It’s your journey, Lucas. Only you can decide which way to go.”
I rolled my eyes. “Did you and granddad get together and decide to teach me some sort of lesson with all this cryptic bullshit?”
Tossing his head back, my father let out a roar of laughter. “Hell, I’m sure Daddy is up there laughing his ass off right now. Enjoy your ride, and if you happen to take a wander down the fence line over in the west pasture, see if those damn kids have cut into it again to ride their 4-wheelers. I’m gonna tan their behinds if I ever catch ’em.”
“Will do,” I said as I climbed onto my horse. I was ready to be alone with my thoughts.
As Ranger started toward the trail that led from the barn, I exhaled deeply and let the feel of being alone with my horse, on this ranch, in my hometown, settle into my soul.
“I have no damn clue about anything anymore, Ranger. Not a damn clue.”
The horse let out a nicker and started into a trot as we headed to open pasture. I could feel his body tremble with the need to run. He wasn’t the only one who needed to feel the wind on his face and to get lost for a bit.
Once we were in the open pasture, I gave him a squeeze with my legs. “Let’s go, Ranger.”
I stepped into the kitchen and inhaled deeply. “Jesus, what is that delicious smell?”
My mother swatted at me with the dish towel. “Lucas Foster, do not use that language.”
Moving out of her way, I removed my cowboy hat and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. “Whatever it is, it smells amazing.”
“It’s chicken pot pie.”
I groaned. “I have missed your cooking, Mom.”
“You could stand to gain a few pounds. That woman only had you eating salad and tofu.”
With a laugh, I took the bowl of salad from her hands and placed it on the table. “As you hand me a salad, how ironic.”
“That’s not the same thing. I’m also giving you meat and vegetables.”
“Bianca wasn’t all that bad.”
She snarled, then gave me a sweet smile. “I’m glad you finally saw the light.”
I inhaled a deep intake of air, then quickly let it out. “I think I saw the light a few months in. Took me awhile, but it feels good to be on my own again.”
As she moved about the kitchen, I could tell something was on her mind. “Say it, Mom. You were never one to keep your thoughts in for long.”
Shrugging, she faced me. “I’m just curious if you’re going to be staying in Johnson City or moving back to Austin. I mean, how long will they let you work from Johnson City?”
I popped a cherry tomato into my mouth. “I can work from anywhere. As long as I get my projects done on time, they don’t care if I’m in Alaska or Australia.”
My mother leaned against the counter and gave me a serious look. “Have you thought about coming and working alongside your father?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I have.”
A look of pure happiness crossed her face.
“If I decide to make JC my home again, I can help Dad with the ranch and the construction business.”
She smiled. “If you decide? Does that mean you and Paige will be permanent roommates?”
I rolled my eyes and reached for a biscuit. “I’m not sure how that is going to turn out, to be honest with you.”
“Lucas, you can’t be serious. Selling the house? It’s been in your father’s family for over a hundred years. How could you do that?”
“Not you too, Mom. Please.”
“Well, I just can’t believe someone who once loved everything about that house could be so eager to sell it.”
Clearly, she hadn’t talked to Dad yet.
“Do you think I should sell my half to Paige? If I did that, the family would still be losing it.”