9
Jenny
When Ben kissed me, every horrible feeling that had been plaguing me since our fight went away suddenly. But when I heard Tulip’s voice, my entire body went cold with fear. We’ve been caught. The thing I’d been dreading the most.
My whole body shakes as I watch Annie and Tulip standing there staring at us in bewilderment. There’s a strange look of amusement on Tulip’s face mixed with her confusion, but Annie looks pissed. No, not pissed. More like betrayed.
Ben starts to explain, fumbling with his words, then he stops himself when Annie starts to run away. I chase after her down the alleyway. She darts across the road into a drugstore parking lot where she stops and starts to cry under the neon glow of a streetlamp. Bugs hover around the light and they dip down, buzzing around her. She doesn’t seem to notice. If she does, she’s far too hurt to care.
I stop too. She’s my best friend and I want to go to her and make this all go away, but I’m the one who caused her pain. I’ve been so selfish with my feelings for Ben that I haven’t stopped to really consider what would happen with my friendship if we were to be caught. I guess, somewhere in the depths of my mind, I figured she would forgive me, and maybe even be happy for me and her dad because we’re finally happy for the first time in a long time. I realize now that was just wishful thinking and I should’ve considered her feelings more. She’s been through so much lately. I haven’t been a very good friend. Lying and sneaking around may have destroyed our friendship. I want to cry just like she’s crying, but that too feels selfish right now. I need to be strong for her.
She whirls around to look at me. “How could you do this to me? Don’t you think my home is broken enough?”
I hold my twisting stomach. I want to run away from this and pretend it’s not happening, but I can’t.
“I’m so sorry Annie. I can’t help what I feel. I never meant to fall for Ben. I promise.”
“You’re eighteen, Jenny, and my dad is forty-four. He’s a monster. He’s preying on you.”
“That’s not true. He’s not even close to being a monster. He was broken after your mom cheated on him. And the whole divorce stuff really messed him up.”
“You don’t know anything about any of that,” Annie yells.
I yell back at her. “I know a lot about that, actually. I also know that your dad has been happier in these last few weeks than he has in years. Haven’t you even noticed him smiling lately?”
Annie’s shoulders slouch and her anger melts into sadness. I take a deep breath and put my own anger in check. Seems all the screaming has worn us both down.
“Please understand that Ben and I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” I say. “I would never choose to fall in love with my best friend’s dad. I would never want to ruin my relationship with you. It just happened and we couldn’t help it.”
“We’re happy together,” I plead. All I want is for my best friend to accept us. I can handle my parents. I know they will forgive me eventually. But I really don’t want to lose you. We’ve been friends our whole lives. “How can that be wrong?”
Annie hangs her head. “I just want my family back.”
I walk over to her tentatively, afraid she’ll reject me and push me away, but when I put my arms around her shoulders, she lets me hug her and it’s the best feeling in the world aside from when Ben hugged me.
“You know you can’t force your mom and Ben back together, right?” I say. “No one would be happy in that situation. Not even you. Remember how miserable you were, how you’d come to school crying when your parents would spend the night fighting? It would be the same now as it was then if they got back together.”
Annie starts to cry so hard her whole body shakes, and I hold onto her like my life depends on it. I know our friendship does.
I look over and see Ben standing on the sidewalk. I was so focused on helping Annie that I didn’t hear his truck pull up. Annie looks up and sees him too. I step back as he rushes over to hug his daughter. She lets him hug her which is a good step. She hadn’t even really talked to him since they arrived. Their relationship has been strained since her parents’ divorce.
“I’m so sorry, honey. I never meant to hurt you,” he says to her.
“Is this how it felt when you caught Mom cheating on you?” Annie asks, wiping the tears and makeup from her eyes. She doesn’t say it like she’s blaming him for anything. She just wants to know if he hurt the way she hurt. Like maybe she’s trying to find some common ground between the two of them.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Ben says. “But it was the deepest betrayal I’ve ever felt the moment I saw your mom with her new lover. I fell apart. It was the last time I could pretend that our marriage wasn’t over. Your mom never really loved me and learning that crushed my heart. I’m just sorry you and your brother and sister had to witness the fallout. And I’m sorry that finding out about me and Jenny this way is hurting you. It’s going to hurt a lot of people I care about. But I love Jenny.” He looks over at me and smiles. Tears glitter in his eyes under the streetlamps. Seeing him so broken hurts me more than I can bear.
At the moment, when I see the acceptance in Annie eyes, it feels like maybe everything will be okay, but then Tulip shows up and says, “We should probably get back to the cabin before the others see that the boys have been left alone.”
My insides turn to cement. It’s time to tell my parents.