“Yes, there is,” Savannah says just as a flock of geese explodes from the woods across the street.
No, not geese. It’s a flock of old women. Wearing bright pink “Mama Wants Some Lovin’” tee-shirts and picking dead leaves out of their silver hair as they hustle across the quiet road. “We’re almost there, ladies! First round’s on me if we win! All those people who think we’re too old to find true love again are going to eat their words with a pickle juice chaser.”
Savannah and I lock eyes, and she smiles. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“I am. Last one to help an old lady win the hell out of this hunt is a rotten egg?”
She beams at me. “Just when I thought I couldn’t love you more.” Then she kisses my cheek and lifts a hand to the women hurrying through the cemetery gate. “Over here, y’all! We found it!”
And we have.
We’ve found it, and now that we have, I know we’re never going to let it go.
Twenty minutes later, we jog into town in the middle of a pack of seniors and are met with cheers from the bystanders watching from either side of the drive leading up to Sunshine Toys. We left our bikes behind to pick up later, and Savannah and I have been playing the part of the woodland creatures that helped us stay at the front of the pack, aiding our crew of ladies on their quest to share the prize.
We pass Beatrice and Cassie, and Savannah stops briefly to hug them both and shout over the hubbub to Bea, “I love you and am so happy to see you! And I love your dad, too! And he loves me!”
Beatrice’s jaw drops, and her eyes fill with happiness so intense it would be enough to get me down on one knee, even if I wasn’t madly in love with Savannah. But I am and I am going to have to find a ring shop—ASAP.
Bea’s gaze darts to my face. “Finally,” she says, making me laugh. “I thought you two were never going to wake up and smell the romance.”
Cassie laughs hard enough that the pair of hedgehogs strapped to her chest—it’s Happy Cat, of course—jiggle and bounce and squeak as though they’re afraid they might fall out of the sling.
We round the final corner into the parking lot, and our entire group grinds to a halt with a collective gasp.
A slender blond woman is marching Savannah’s ex-husband and his new girlfriend out the factory’s front doors, right beneath the large sun making a mid-orgasm face that adorns the building.
The man is pale and sweating, and his companion’s wooly jacket is…smoking?
Is that smoke drifting off the jacket?
“Olivia!” Savannah cries.
Ah, so this is Savannah’s best friend from childhood. But from all the stories I’ve heard about free-spirited, crystal-collecting Olivia, the last thing I expected when meeting her for the first time was to encounter a Viking warrioress with fury etched on her features.
“Savannah!” Olivia’s eyes widen. “I just caught your ex trying to steal—dang it!”
Her words end in a soft growl as Steve, the dirty rat, takes advantage of her distraction to spin in a circle and grab her from behind.
“What the devil is that?” I ask Savannah and the seniors standing close by.
“Something not good,” Savannah says as she breaks into a run again. I follow her, as do several of the spry older women, all of us racing toward where Steve has one arm wrapped around Olivia’s throat.
With the other, he holds some sort of device to her head.
“Stop, or the mystic nutjob gets her brains fried!” he shouts.
“Oh, no, you don’t, you sheep-fucker!” one of the older women yells back. “Let that sweet girl go!”
Savannah skids to a halt a few yards from her ex and throws out an arm, signaling for the rest of us to stop. “Let her go, Steve!” she orders. In a softer voice, she whispers to me over her shoulder, “It’s a taser. I think that’s what happened to his lady-friend’s jacket. Steve has a habit of setting things on fire ‘accidentally on purpose.’ But I didn’t know that until after we were married. I swear. I wasn’t smart about living with a guy for a few years before I fell in love back then.”
“I’m sick of this town and the way it worships you,” Steve sneers at her. “Everyone thinks you’re so special just because you were famous. You get away with murder, walking all over other people, doing whatever you want without giving a shit about anyone else. You ruined my life, you selfish bitch.”
Van balls her fists and glares back at him, holding me back from leaping to tackle him. “You ruined your own life, Steve. And abused a farm animal while you were at it. And now you’re, what? Threatening to zap an innocent woman’s brains out? This isn’t going to end well for you, dude. The best thing you can do is put the taser down and walk away.”