“You don’t look fine. Is it your head? Does it hurt? What about your ankles, your knees?”
“Savannah, please.”
“What about your hips? Elbows? Are you bruised? Does anything feel broken?” My hands are all over him by this point—gently probing and testing. My heart is pounding again. I’ve never touched him like this, never dared take the liberty, but I need to know he’s in one piece.
I need to know he’s not hurt.
Even if he’ll never be mine, I always want him to be safe and happy and healthy. I just love him so much. It hits me again, bringing tears to my eyes as he catches my hands in his.
I gasp softly at the touch, then swallow hard as his eyes meet mine.
“I’m fine,” he says quietly, his gaze holding me captive. “Physically, anyway. Emotionally, however, I fear I’m a bit of a wreck.”
Chapter Five
Colin
This is it. The perfect moment.
She’s here. I’m here. We’re alone in a lovely patch of forest with a light breeze blowing her hair around her face and her eyes telling me she’s ready to hear everything I’ve been dying to tell her. She cares for me. Or at least cares whether or not I’ve split my head open falling off the first bicycle I’ve ridden in twenty years.
I need to tell her how I feel.
Now.
With all that’s already gone wrong in the short time since I found her, it’s clear that this might be the only chance I’ll get. I pull in a breath, sweep my tongue across my lips, and…choke.
My mouth opens and closes with no words coming out and nothing but a sharp, panicked humming sound vibrating through my head as though a hummingbird from Bea’s favorite American picture book has taken up residence inside my skull. Suddenly fears I haven’t even considered before begin crawling out of my brain like zombies bursting from the grave, ready to put an end to this romance before it begins.
What if Savannah has no use for a boyfriend who’s also a single dad? I know she loves Beatrice with all her heart, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to step up and be her mother.
A nanny is quite different from a mother. A nanny is paid to care for a child, gets time off, and isn’t obligated to participate in family movie nights or board games after hours. A nanny can leave the more severe reprimands to the parent, and a nanny is free to participate in the fun and frolic of child-rearing, rather than the intimidating business of ensuring a small human grows up to be a sane, happy, helpful grown human.
Did Savannah leave because the reality of another eight years of raising someone else’s child was too much?
She did say she needed to focus on her own life.
And she deserves her own family for all of those momentous occasions that we, as humans, celebrate with the ones we love.
“Colin, are you—” Her words end in a startling yipping sound as the damned raccoon suddenly leaps over my shoulder to plop down in the leaves between us. “Oh my God, George. You scared the crap out of me. And you nearly killed Colin.”
“I’m fine,” I say, arching a brow as the little beastie rolls over on his back and grins up at me, like he’s pulled off an incredible prank. “How intelligent are these animals?”
“Very. Huge brains, fast learners, and better problem solvers than your average three-year-old. And after hearing all the trouble Logan gets up to when Cassie’s back is turned, I have a new level of respect for that metric. Logan isn’t even two yet.”
George scratches his large belly and then stretches his arms over his head and glances at Savannah, as if waiting for a high five. She giggles and obliges. “Fine, you wretched little thing. But no more popping out of baskets. It’s a good thing you’ve played hero so often around here. But you’re still going to hurt someone someday.” She sighs and glances over her shoulder. “Or just ruin their chances of treasure hunt domination.”
“You really want to win this thing, don’t you? It isn’t just about beating your ex.”
“That would be the whipped cream on the banana split, but no, it’s not about him.” She rubs George’s belly as she adds in a softer voice, “It’s about me. About proving that I’m ready and that the universe sees that.”
I don’t ask ready for what?
It’s a treasure hunt for love, after all.
While I seriously doubt a bunch of silly clues are going to help her find it, if this is her dream, then I’ll do whatever it takes to help that dream come true. Even if it means breaking my own heart in the process.
After all, if I were the focus of her affection, she wouldn’t have left the way she did. She’s here for a fresh start and to find a partner who isn’t me. She might even already have one in mind. She might be planning to win first place and head right back to the bar and that touchy-feely bartender who was far too good-looking for his own good.