“Evan’s,” I say as confidently as possible. The last thing I need is for Tucker to say something to Nate about me not seeming myself. “Probably playing with their surveillance toys today.”
Tucker laughs. Honestly, I’d rather be there too, but somehow ended up here, at Seal beach, after driving around aimlessly. I’ve made the necessary plans to get the rest of my stuff from my Vegas rental, which is nothing more than a carload of belongings. My DC apartment will be another story, and I’m not sure of the best plan of attack there.
“They do have some pretty cool toys.”
That they do.
“Are you training?” I ask him as I motion toward the trainees. Tucker turns and nods.
“Yeah, they’re a good class. No one has rung the bell yet, which is surprising. We’ve put them through hell.”
“When is hell week?”
“This team is almost done. They have about a month left. Most of the guys are ready to deploy and want their assignments. These guys are eager.” Tucker looks back at the group sleeping not far from us. “Nate returns soon.”
“Monday,” I say. “It’s weird to think his sabbatical is over. I’m so used to having him around. Now, we’ll both wonder where each other are at.”
“I doubt he’ll deploy. I think they’re going to keep him on base where they can watch him.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
He nods. “So, I can watch them. I don’t trust anyone outside my circle. Everyone is a suspect to me.”
“Sadly, it’s the same thing for me.” I sigh and pull my legs closer. “I keep asking why. Why your team? How did Frannie know Penny was in Vermont? We’re missing something.”
Tucker moves the sand with his hand. “Evan said there was a car outside their house the night before the wedding.”
I nod. “I’m looking into it.” That’s all I’m willing to say at the moment. “Have you seen River lately?”
“Yeah, he showed up at Magoo’s the other day. That’s usually where I see him. I think Slick Rick lets him crash in the backroom or something. Penny and I have talked and said he could stay with us, but River . . . he’s paranoid. He’s not sure people aren’t following him.”
“He went through a lot. You all did, but River,” I pause and think back to the file I have in my car. “To find out your wife isn’t who you thought she was and orchestrated so much pain, it’s hard to swallow.”
“And then to kill her to protect my family. I’ve thanked him, but it’s not enough. It’s never going to be enough. He knows if it wasn’t for him—”
“You would’ve never been in this situation, and he wouldn’t have had to kill his wife.”
“Fucking shitty,” Tucker says. “Anyway, I gotta get back. Their lunch break is over, and now I’m in a mood.” He laughs as he stands.
“Don’t make them pay because you ran into me.”
“No promises.” Tucker walks away and effortlessly trudges through the sand. I can never seem to walk in it without looking like I’m falling over or sinking. I suppose it comes with being a SEAL.
I stay on the beach for another hour or so, watching BUDs training. I try to picture myself as a mother whose son is about to enlist or ship off. I don’t know how Julianne did it with her twins and her husband. Maybe that’s why she’s so closed-off. She’s seen a lot of heartache over the years and has had to live with losing her husband and son, only to have her son return. I suppose that will screw anyone up. I don’t know if I can do it. It’s bad enough knowing Nate can deploy next week if his command wants him to, and then what? I’m with Tucker. I don’t trust anyone.
Nate’s on our balcony when I arrive home, and the small table we keep out there is set for dinner. The tablecloth blows gently in the wind, and I’m thankful to see he’s using our fake candles instead of real ones.
“Hey,” I say as I kiss him. “How was your day?”
“It was good, but better now that you’re home. Did you go to the beach?”
“Yes, how did you know?” Deep down, I know he doesn’t spy on me, but it still makes me wonder how he knows. He taps my nose and then kisses me there.
“You got a little burnt, and you smell like warm sand and the ocean.”
“I spent a couple of hours down there, just being in the moment. I don’t get to do that a lot. It’s nice just to sit and not worry.”
“You, not worry?” Nate scoffs. “I think worry is your middle name.”
He’s not wrong. “You know what I mean.”
Nate laughs and motions for me to sit down. He picks up the bottle of wine, and I cover my glass. “Just water. I’m a little parched from being out in the sun.”