“Babe I want you to listen to me and listen to me very carefully. I know what society says; they say that if your man tells you what to wear, who to hang out with and where to go that he’s being an abusive asshole. That’s not me, I’m never gonna be that guy but I am going to tell you not to do things that I think will cause you harm. It has nothing to do with your past, that’s just the way I am, I would’ve been this way with you no matter your background.
I don’t want anything to happen to you, try to understand this. You’re my life and only a fool wouldn’t do everything possible to take care of his life. If anything happens to you it would kill me plain and simple and I’m not about to let that happen. One thing that I absolutely do not like is other guys in your life. I don’t give a shit what anyone else says I don’t trust the fucks. I’m not saying you have to run and hide if some guy says hello to you on the street, but no going to their house, no meeting them anywhere for any reason. Let’s put it this way, when I start going to other women, which by the way will never happen, then you have a free pass; until then that door’s closed, and if anyone tells you that that’s no good fuck ‘em.
I don’t expect you to live like a nun, you don’t have to hide away behind walls for the rest of your life but whatever I need to do to protect you I will. The next four years away at school I’m probably going to be a nutcase, that’s only because I love you and I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you.”
“Nothing’s going to happen Matthew. You’re the one who told me to stop living under a shadow remember? Now you’re acting as though you want me to go back to being afraid. I like not having that fear all the time, like waking up with happiness instead of dread.”
“And I’m happier than you’ll ever know that you feel that way. I’m not trying to get you to go back to fear, quite the opposite, I want you to enjoy your freedom. I just need you to understand that while you’re doing that that I’ll always be in the shadows watching over you. At times that may seem intrusive I’m just letting you know from now that it’s going to be a part of your life. I think that every man has that right, to look out for his woman and his family when that day comes. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, I know it’s my job as the man to take care of you and that’s what I’m going to do. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
“Yes I think so; you’re saying that you want me to run free while you do all the worrying, that doesn’t sound very fair to me Matthew. How can you be happy if you spend every minute watching out for me? What kind of life will you have? I can’t do that Matthew, that’s exactly what I didn’t want for you.”
“No babe that’s not it, I have no intention of living in a bubble or giving up my peace of mind to worry. I guess what I’m trying to say is that there might be times when I do things to ensure your safety that might not be the most conventional. I’m just letting you know in advance so you won’t be surprised when it does happen and to let you know basically that there’s nothing that you or anyone else can say to stop me from doing those things. When it comes to your safety I won’t take any chances. So that means no meeting the brother of the guy who tried to rape you even if you think it’s safe. I don’t think it is, and if I’m trying to protect you and you keep putting yourself in danger that’s going to cause problems. To eliminate those problems before they start I’m laying it out for you now. You need to write this down somewhere or some shit Kitten? because I’m dead serious about this.” Dammit, she rolled her eyes at me and then shook her head; way too much time with the Steele women.
“Do you understand or not?” I shook her slightly on my lap and she wrapped her arms around my neck.
“I understand that you’re a worry wart; seriously Matthew you don’t have to worry, I won’t put myself in any danger. Even though I wake up smiling these days I never forget what my life was like. I’m grateful to you though for helping me get over some if not all of my fear. I don’t think I could’ve done it without you. I never in a million years thought this could be me and now it is and I love it. Anyway Carrie and Nessa and your mom already warned me what I had to look forward to. And watching Josh with Carrie I think I can handle your brand of nutty. Just don’t expect to always get your way okay?”