“Go on upstairs I’ll be right there, and fix your face, you know you fucked up.”
“Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry I’m not gonna run back there and beat the shit out of him if that’s what you’re worried about. You need to call your dad and let him know where you are.” Once again I found myself needing to get away from her because with everything that was going on inside me I had no doubt I really would turn her over my fucking knee. I think I’ve lost my damn mind, I didn’t want her afraid of anything, didn’t want anyone having that kind of power over her again. How the fuck was I supposed to take care of her?
I went in search of Josh because I needed to calm down before I spoke to her again. I found it ironic that I was going to the hothead to cool my jets. “What’s wrong now?”
“I found Kadyn talking to that asshole’s brother outside the diner.”
“Oh boy, he alive?”
“Yeah smartass. I have a serious problem here bro; I don’t know how to let her out of my sight. All this shit that’s going on is fucking with my head, it’s like there’s no safe place unless she’s with me. I know that’s a fucked up way to think but I can’t shake it. How the fuck do you let lil sis out of the house?”
“It’s not easy, sometimes I trail her ass even though she’s tagged, especially in the beginning when she first got better and would go places by herself. I understand the fear. People say shit like don’t let fear rule you, it’s not so much that it rules you, it’s more like you’ve learned to be more careful. You learn that everything isn’t always what it seems. We have to let them live their lives but we just can’t take any chances that’s all.”
“What the fuck ever happened to being teenagers? I don’t remember mom and dad ever telling us about this shit happening when they were growing up.”
“No, they had Bundy, Son of Sam and the night stalker in their days. Nothing’s changed, if anything these fuckers upped their game and got worst. I’m not going to live in fear but I’m not going to walk blind either. You’ll figure it out, I did.”
“I guess you’re right but right now all I can think of is never letting her out of my sight again. I think I have to tell her about Bruno, I don’t want to but I think I should. Maybe that will help her overcome some of her fear to know that he’s been caught. If they ever get around to arresting his ass.”
“They’ll take him, if they don’t we’ll do what we have to do. Where’s Kadyn you left her at the diner?”
“Nah she’s upstairs I better go up and take care of her. We’ll check on that thing later I don’t know how fast they move on these things or if we’ll have to call them again. I hope not, I hope that the men and women who’re taxed with looking after the public would take those pictures seriously enough to at least check the shit out. If they don’t I’ll send all that shit to the media and expose their asses for inaction.” He gave me a thumbs up and went back to what he was doing as I left the room.
Ms. Kadyn was lying back on our bed reading when I walked in the room like she hadn’t just given me a damn heart attack. “You calm now Mr. Crazy?” Huh she must’ve picked that up from Carrie. I went and sat next to her before pulling her onto my lap. I took some time to get my words together. Today had been a turning point for me, I think my eyes were finally open and whatever innocence I might’ve had left was no more. I didn’t want that for her, she’d lost too much of hers already, besides she was a girl, she didn’t need to concern herself with that filth.
I needed to find a way to shield her without treating her like a lesser being or making her feel like one. We were young and had our whole lives ahead of us, but neither of us would ever be your normal teen. Life had taken care of that and I was left now with the daunting task of how to move on from our pasts. Where was the line between protecting her as her man and treating her like she didn’t have a mind of her own? It was a tough question and one that I didn’t really have an answer to. All I know is that I didn’t want anything to touch her no matter what, so I went with that.