“So you struck at me first,” she said grimly.
Drake closed his eyes in pain. “I was gutshot. I knew what had to be done, and it sickened me. Having to stand there and pretend to be so callous, pretend you meant nothing to me. God, the things I said and did. You have to know I didn’t mean them, Evangeline!”
She studied him quietly, her teeth worrying at her bottom lip. She was quiet and pensive and her struggle was clearly highlighted in her face and eyes.
“I don’t know what to believe,” she finally said. “There’s too much I don’t understand. You said you did things wrong with me by keeping me a secret. But if you caring for me put me in danger, then what else could you have done except keep me a secret?”
Then her eyes widened and her mouth rounded.
“Oh,” she murmured. “Never mind. I understand.”
“What do you understand?” Drake demanded, not liking the resigned look on her face.
“You should have never gotten involved with me,” she said quietly. “That’s what you’re trying to say.”
“No!” he said in a near bellow, causing her to flinch and draw in on herself as she regarded him cautiously.
He reached for her hand and sandwiched it between his, feeling her slight tremble as she stared at him with huge, questioning eyes.
“I should have never kept you a secret,” he said savagely. “Never should have tried to downplay your importance to me.”
She cocked her head to the side, her expression growing even more confused.
“But you just said that if anyone had known that, I would have been used to hurt you.”
His jaw clamped down hard as he stared fiercely at her.
“What I should have done, and what I will do going forward, is make it known that you’re my queen. My woman. The most important person in my life. It will be made clear how I will retaliate if someone so much as touches a hair on your head. Security will be tightened around you, but you know and are comfortable with the men who will be guarding you.”
All the color leached from her face, making her eyes seem enormous. She opened her mouth but no response came forth, and for a long moment she simply sat there staring agape at him. Then finally she shook her head as if trying to dispel the confusion and cobwebs surrounding her.
“We aren’t together, Drake,” she said hesitantly.
“The hell we aren’t,” he said savagely. “I drove you away, Angel. I got back to my apartment as fast as I could without arousing suspicion because I planned to explain everything that night and then beg your forgiveness. When I found you gone, I went crazy. I’ve spent the last five days turning this city upside down looking for you. And now I’ve found you. If you think I’m going to let you walk away from me without one hell of a fight, you’re out of your mind. You belong with and to me, just as I belong to you. What happened that night will never happen again. It shouldn’t have happened to begin with, but at the time it was the only thing I thought would keep you safe.”
“What are you asking for exactly, Drake?” she asked skeptically.
“Whatever you’re willing to give,” he bit out. “In time, everything. But for now I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, as long as you give me the chance to make this up to you and to prove how important to me you are.”
“So you want us to go back to the way things were before? Pretend like that night never happened?”
He flinched. “Of course I don’t expect it to be that easy. I have a lot to make up for. You gave me your trust and now I have to earn it back. You gifted me with your submission and I have to make you feel safe and cherished enough to submit once again. But I want you with me, Angel. At all times. Once you are public knowledge, I’ll never allow you to go anywhere alone.”
Evangeline closed her eyes for a long moment, her fingers twisted together in a bloodless knot on her lap. Her despair and indecision was a tangible presence in the room.
“I don’t know what I should do,” she finally said, exhaustion creeping into her speech and her posture.
“What do you want, Angel?” he asked softly. “Forget about should. What do you want?”
She turned her head and her tear-filled gaze met his.
“I want things back the way they were before,” she said with trembling lips.
“They can be,” he said truthfully.
She made a grimace. “You make it sound so easy.”
“Isn’t it? I made a terrible mistake, my angel. One I won’t forget for a very long time. One that I’ll regret for the rest of my life. But I won’t make that mistake again. No longer will I attempt to hide your presence in my life or your importance to me. Just give me the chance to show you how it can be. Don’t give up on us yet.”