“I made a mistake with you,” Drake admitted.
She blinked, clearly not expecting him to admit fault. Her features reflected her surprise, and he understood why. Drake wasn’t a man to readily admit failure. Normally he was too self-assured and didn’t give a damn what others thought of his choices.
“Angel, I have many powerful, ruthless enemies. Men who would use any means available to strike at me. I’ve long frustrated them because I don’t have any weakness to exploit. There’s nothing I care about enough to make concessions or to yield to blackmail and extortion.”
He took a breath and looked directly into her eyes.
“Until you.”
Her eyes widened and then she bit her lip in consternation. He could see the wheels spinning madly in her mind as she tried to process his sincerity.
He wanted to touch her, to yank her into his arms and prove his words, but he didn’t have this in the bag, not by a long shot. She didn’t believe him and he couldn’t blame her. Not when he’d made it a practice to be aloof and hold himself at a distance from everyone.
He dragged a hand through his hair until the short strands stood up on end in complete disarray.
“I handled you all wrong. I hid you, what you meant to me. Tried to keep you a secret and out of the public eye.”
She sent him a puzzled look. “Why? I don’t understand.”
He sighed. “Because if my enemies even got a hint of what you mean to me, how important you are to me and that I’d do anything to keep you safe, they would have gone after you. They would have been relentless and once they got their hands on you, they would have used you to take me down. They would have threatened you, and Angel, these aren’t men to make idle threats. If I hadn’t complied with their demands, they would have made you suffer horribly and eventually killed you.”
“But I’m no one,” she said, her voice rising. “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m just . . . I’m just your . . .”
“Don’t say it,” he said in a whiplike tone. “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t you dare say it. That’s bullshit. If you think you aren’t important to me, then that’s another sin for me to bear because I should have shown you. You should know that you’re special. Not just to me but to my men. All of us.”
She shook her head, falling silent as she grappled with his heated declaration.
“So I kept you tightly under wraps,” he continued, self-loathing creeping into his voice. “I was arrogant. I thought I could have you, keep you to myself and keep you safe. That my enemies would never know of you. It was stupid and I know better. Goddamn it, I know better!”
“So the business meeting you had, the men you brought to your apartment when I was supposed to be somewhere else, those are your enemies?” she asked skeptically.
He nodded and she frowned, perplexity furrowing her brow.
“Why would you bring these men into your home, then?” she asked. “Why would you take such a risk if they hate you? And why didn’t you just tell me why you didn’t want me there instead of skirting around the issue? If you had told me it would be dangerous, I would have never interfered. I wouldn’t have made such an ass of myself, that’s for sure.”
Pain glittered brightly in her eyes, and her cheeks colored as she ducked her head away, refusing to meet his gaze any longer.
He cupped her chin and gently turned her until she looked him in the eye again.
“You did nothing wrong, Angel. That whole night is on me. My fault. You did something very special for me. But I couldn’t allow the Luconis to so much as suspect what you meant to me. That you were more than a temporary mistress or someone to warm my bed before I tossed you out.”
His expression became bleak as memories of that night, of how badly he’d humiliated Evangeline, repeated over and over in his mind. The look on her face. The devastation and her tears. The despicable things he’d said and done to her.
“It was all a lie,” he whispered. “I had to put on the act of my life and convince those men that you were nothing to me. And, Evangeline, they had to believe it because if they had any suspicion that I was faking it, they would have gone after you. And if I had allowed you to play hostess, there is no way they could spend more than five minutes in your company and not see the truth.”
“What truth?” she whispered.
“Of what you mean to me,” he said in a low voice. “I couldn’t take the risk. One slip-up, one unguarded moment when I looked upon you with pride or when you smiled at me, how I’d soften. I would have been an open book, Angel. And you would have paid the ultimate price for my lack of control when it comes to you.”