A glimmer of amusement curved his lips as he said the last.
“You scared the hell out of me, Angel. I had no answer for you. No idea what to do with you. When it was all so simple. All you wanted was my love, and that was the one thing I couldn’t give you.”
She sucked her breath in, her chest squeezing painfully.
“I thought I couldn’t give you love,” he said softly. “But I was wrong. I loved you from the start. I didn’t know it. Didn’t recognize it. How could I? I’d never seen or felt love in my life. All I knew was that when I was with you my entire world lit up. I was happy. I only felt content when I was with you. I wanted to do everything in my power to make you happy. I . . . loved you.”
She looked sadly at him, shaking her head even before he finished his statement. He squeezed her hands, a request for her to let him finish.
“I was so convinced that no one could ever love me that I didn’t recognize it until it was too late. When I thought you had betrayed me, I was devastated. I was completely undone and so grief-stricken that I lashed out and said and did despicable, horrible things. I said terrible things. I reacted like a wounded animal and I only wanted to be alone to brood and to grieve the loss of the most beautiful thing in my life.”
He broke off a minute and heaved a deep breath.
“And as the days went by, I started to think, did it really matter if you betrayed me? Was it such an unforgivable crime, given all I’d kept from you? I expected blind faith and trust from you while giving you nothing of that part of my life. What were you supposed to think? I’m sure you thought the worst. And you being you, so good and innocent, wouldn’t have been able to live with that kind of man. So why wouldn’t you do the right thing and set me up?”
“But, Drake, I didn’t!”
He squeezed her hands again. “I know, Angel, I know. What I’m saying is that I missed you so damn much, I loved you so damn much, that I was willing to forgive you even if you had. And then . . . then I started to think back over everything. And I wondered. I doubted. I found it hard to believe you could do something so contrary to your loving, loyal nature. I was so fucked up, questioning everything in my life. When the real traitor was ferreted out, I had already made the decision to go after you, beg your forgiveness and do whatever was necessary to win you back.”
He closed his eyes, tears sliding wetly down his cheeks.
“Because I realized I loved you. I love you with everything I am. Everything I have. Everything that is within me and everything that I’ll ever be. Whatever I’ll be is because of you. I told your mother on the phone, the day you disappeared, that I loved you and that no matter what I would find you and keep you safe. That I’d never let you go again.”
Evangeline just stared, too confused and off balance to make sense of all he was saying.
“You were out of it when we got you to the clinic,” Drake said painfully. “Barely aware of your surroundings. I begged you then. Told you I loved you and our child. I wanted nothing more than to bring you back to our apartment and spend the rest of my life making up for my mistakes. But the only thing you said was that you wanted to go home. To your parents. And you were so fragile, on the verge of shattering, that I would have done anything to make you happy again. So I let you go.”
He stopped, choking out the last words and turning his face away but not before she saw the raw agony and utter despair. Pain and so much desolation. Everything she’d felt for the last month was mirrored in his eyes.
“But I kept in touch with your parents daily. Seeking any crumb of information about you. The slightest detail, no matter how insignificant, I devoured like a man starving. I couldn’t stay away a day longer, Angel. I’m miserable without you and I think you’re miserable without me. We’re only whole when we’re together. I know I have a lot of making up to do. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to catch up and atone for all I’ve done. But please, just give me the chance to make you happy. I know I can make you happy again, Evangeline. If you only give me the chance. The chance I denied you.”