What was he doing here?
She tried to open her mouth to ask but found herself incapable of speech. The result was her looking at him completely dumbfounded, her heart in shreds, bleeding.
“I wanted to be here in time to take you to your appointment,” he said hoarsely. “But the plane was grounded due to ice. I’m sorry. I tried to get here as quickly as I could.”
“You know?” she asked in a shocked voice.
Confusion glimmered in his dark eyes. “Angel, I’ve known since the day you found out,” he said gently. “Do you not remember the day we rescued you from your abductor and how worried we were that something had happened to the baby?”
She shook her head. “I don’t remember much about that day,” she whispered. She lifted her gaze to meet his, her heart heavy. “Is that why you’re here, then? Because of the baby?”
He swore softly and then crossed the room as if to pull her into his arms, but he hesitated when he drew abreast of her, almost as if afraid of her rejection.
“I’m worried about the baby, yes. But I’m more worried about you. I’m here because I can’t live without you. I’m here because there is so much I need to say to you, Angel.”
Before she could respond to his raw declaration, he slowly and painfully lowered himself to his knees in front of her, gathering her hands in his as he looked beseechingly up at her.
“I’m begging you to listen to what I have to say. Hear me out. Please.”
Evangeline stared in shocked bewilderment at Drake’s haggard features and the aching vulnerability reflected so clearly in his eyes. He was assuming a position of submission and humility. Tears choked her, clogging her throat as so much of the pain and devastation she’d tried so hard to make peace with bubbled up and threatened to burst free, much like a dam breaking.
“You refused to listen to me,” she said thickly. “I was on my knees begging and you wouldn’t even hear me out. You refused to give me a chance. Why should I give you the same? I gave you everything, Drake. Everything. I held nothing back. I gave you my submission. My love. My trust. My loyalty. And you threw everything back in my face. It was like you were just waiting for me to fail. You wanted me to fail. And when it appeared I had, you couldn’t wait to throw me out. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?”
She was heaving for breath, the tears she’d tried so hard not to let him see sliding down her cheeks. She wiped hastily with the backs of her hands, dashing them away before she looked away, refusing to meet his imploring gaze a minute longer.
“You’re right,” he said in a subdued, defeated tone she’d never heard in him.
Her gaze swung wildly back to him at his admission, unable to believe he was admitting that she was right and he had been so very wrong. His grip tightened on her hands as though he feared she’d slip away and he’d never get her back. Well, he’d already lost her and not because he let her go. He’d shoved her violently out of his life in the cruelest manner possible.
“Why did you come for me, Drake?” she asked, ignoring his admission. “Why did you even bother rescuing me from that horrible man? I would have thought you would have been happy to be rid of me.”
His face lost its pallor, going gray with answering grief and regret. So much regret and sorrow that it made her uncomfortable to look at. But when he spoke, he went back to his admission, to her earlier accusation.
“I know I don’t deserve anything from you, Angel. Not the time of day, not even a look, certainly not your love. But I’m begging you as you once begged me to listen. If after this is done you never want to see me again, then I’ll go. But you and our child will be taken care of. Always.”
She swallowed but didn’t answer, but neither did she tell him no. She didn’t say anything at all. Just continued to stare at him, hurting with every part of her soul.
“You were right in that I was waiting for you to fail,” he said, wincing at his admission. “I once told you that if my own parents didn’t love me, how could I expect anyone else to? You may have thought it was bullshit, but it’s true. No one has ever loved me and then you . . .”
He broke off and swallowed heavily, and she was flabbergasted to see a sheen of moisture collect in his eyes.
“Then I met you and you didn’t tell me as much as you showed me that you loved me. Every single day. In every action, every gesture, every look. You showed me what love is. And I showed you what love wasn’t,” he said painfully. “I couldn’t believe that you loved me. Not my money. Not my power. You loved me, the man, and you only wanted the same from me. Not the things I could buy you or the lifestyle I could provide you. If anything you tolerated those things because it meant a life with me.”