‘I do. But what if our marriage doesn’t work?’ The words were spilling out of her—hot, panicky, unstoppable. ‘What happens then? Have you thought about that? Have you any idea what that will feel like—?’
She broke off as Ram reached out and covered her hands with his.
‘Slow down, sweetheart. At this point I’m still trying to get you down the aisle. So right now I’m not thinking about the end of our marriage.’
Gently, he uncurled her fingers.
‘Is this about your father?’ he said quietly.
She shook her head, then nodded. ‘Sort of. Him and Connor. He was my last boyfriend. We worked together. He told a couple of people in the office some stuff about us, and then it all got out of hand.’
‘What stuff? And what do you mean by “out of hand”?’
She couldn’t meet his eyes. ‘Some of my colleagues went to the pub after work. Connor had been drinking, and he told them—well, he told them things about us. You know...what we’d done together, private things. The next day everyone was talking about me. It was so embarrassing. Even my boss knew. People I thought were my friends stopped talking to me, I was overlooked for a promotion, and then Connor dumped me.’
‘Then, quite frankly, he was an idiot,’ Ram said bluntly. Cupping her chin in his hand, he forced her face up to his. ‘Correction. He’s an idiot and a coward, and if ever I meet him I’ll tell him so—shortly after I’ve punched him.’
She couldn’t stop herself from smiling. ‘You don’t need to worry about me. I can fight my own battles.’
His gaze rested on her face, and he gripped her hand so tightly she could almost feel the energy and strength passing from his body into hers.
‘Not anymore. You’re with me now, Nola. Your battles are my battles. And, engaged or not, nothing anyone says or does is going to change that fact, so if you don’t want to say anything, then we won’t.’
Nola stared at him in silence. She knew how badly he wanted to get married, but he was offering to put his needs and feelings behind hers. Neither her father nor Connor had been willing to do that.
She couldn’t speak—not just because his words had taken her by surprise, but because she was terrified she would tell him that she loved him.
Finally, she shook her head. ‘I do want to announce it. But I think I should ring my mum and Anna first. I want them to know before anyone else.’
He dropped a kiss on her mouth. ‘Good idea. Why don’t you call them now? And then you’d better come into town with me after all, so you can choose a dress.’
* * *
It was the afternoon of the party.
Slipping her feet into a pair of beautiful dark red court shoes, Nola breathed out softly. She could hardly believe that in the next few hours she would be standing beside Ram as his fiancée. Just days ago they had been like two boxers, circling one another in the ring. But all that had changed since they’d made peace with their pasts, and she had never felt happier.
Or more satisfied.
Her face grew hot. It was crazy, but they just couldn’t seem to keep their hands off one another. Even when they weren’t making love they couldn’t stop touching—his hand on her hip, her fingers brushing against his face. And on the odd occasion when she forced Ram to do some work he’d stay close to her, using his laptop and making phone calls from the bed while she slept.
In fact this was probably the first time they’d been apart for days, and she was missing him so badly that it felt like an actual physical ache.
Her breath felt blunt and heavy in her throat. It was an ache that was compounded by the knowledge that, even though she loved him, Ram would never love her. She lifted her chin. But he did need her, and he felt responsible for her and the baby—and hadn’t she told him that duty was a kind of love?
But she couldn’t think about that now. There were other more pressing matters to consider and, heart pounding, she turned to face the full-length mirror. She stared almost dazedly at her reflection. It was the first time she had seen herself since having her hair and make-up done, and the transformation was astonishing. With her dark hair swept to one side, her shimmering smoky eye make-up and bright red lips, she looked poised and glamorous—not at all like the anxious young woman she was feeling inside.
Which was lucky, she thought, picking up her clutch bag with a rush of nervous excitement, because soon she would be facing Sydney’s A-listers as Ram’s bride-to-be.
Downstairs, Ram was flicking resignedly through the pages of a magazine. If Nola was anything like Pandora he was going to be in for a long wait. Or maybe he wasn’t! Already Nola had surprised him, by being sweetly excited by the party, whereas Pandora was just too much of a perfectionist to truly enjoy any public appearance. She saw only the flaws, however tiny or trifling. And of course that led inevitably to the reasons for those flaws.
His mouth tightened. Or rather the reason.
There was a movement behind him and, turning round, he felt his heartbeat stumble.
Nola was standing at the top of the stairs, wearing a beautiful pleated yellow silk dress that seemed to both cling and flow. It perfectly complemented her gleaming dark hair and crimson lips and, watching her walk towards him, he felt his breath catch fire as she stopped in front of him. She met his gaze, her blue eyes nervous, yet resolute.
‘You look like sunlight in that dress,’ he said softly and, reaching out he pulled her towards him. ‘You’re beautiful, Nola. Truly.’