Gavin finished quickly, removing the wand and saving the scan files.
“Well, what is it?” James said. His voice sounded deeper, scratchy, as if his throat was partially closed.
Gavin flashed me a glance. “Your doctor will contact you with the results. I’m not allowed to interpret the scans.”
I could feel him starting to seethe, and gave his hand a squeeze. “James, could you please wait in the hallway for a second? I have a couple of nerdy questions about this machine.”
“Sure.”
As he swung his legs over the table and stood up, grabbing his cane, I could clearly see that he was in more pain than usual.
The second the door was shut behind him, I went through the scan with Gavin, both of us carefully discussing the technology, not the patient. Without him exactly saying what the problem was, I was able to see the issue, and have him confirm it.
I wrenched the door open to see James was staring at me wide-eyed. Flinging my arms around him, I held him tightly. “Relax, it’s nothing terrible,” I said quickly. “It’s a tiny fix. You’re going to be absolutely fine.”
His arms wrapped around me so tightly it was almost tricky to breathe for a few seconds. “Thank you, baby. Let’s get the hell out of here,” he muttered.
Thanking Karen on the way by, we rushed to the car and I drove him home quickly while explaining the situation.
It was an infection that could be dangerous if left untreated. If it had been missed, it could easily have led to septicemia, which was quite serious. But his doctor would most definitely be calling him tomorrow with a prescription for antibiotics, and a request to stop doing his exercises for a few days until the swelling went down.
I would have thought that James would be excited by this positive news. Instead, he simply nodded, staring out the window on the way back to his house.
As we were getting out of the car, my instinct was to rush around and help him, but I stopped myself. It was obvious that he hated appearing weak, even though he was clearly limping and leaning heavily on his cane on the way up to the door.
“I know that must have really hurt,” I said gently. “Instead of going out tonight, what if we just order in a pizza or something?”
“That’s a good idea,” he said slowly, but then he stopped, staring down at his feet. “Molly, I really appreciate your help today, and every moment since I met you. Your light, your sweetness has shaken some things loose inside me. I was numb for a long time, and now I feel more alive, I guess.” It was unnerving that he wasn’t smiling.
“This doesn’t seem to make you happy,” I said.
“Some of it does, some of it doesn’t.”
He shook his head. “I’m really sorry to hit pause on this relationship so soon, but I just can’t stand the thought of bringing you down when I’m this moody.”
Stepping closer, I put an arm around his shoulder so that I could slide my fingers up the back of his neck. “James, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” he whispered. “You are such a beautiful person, so full of life and light. I can’t drain your energy. I can’t be a burden to you.”
“Spending one night in instead of going out when we’re both tired is hardly a burden,” I tried to smile.
“Just like that,” he said, his eyes suffering as he looked down at me. “You always look on the bright side, which is amazing. But when I’m feeling low, and…not as strong as I should be, I can’t always force myself to put on a happy face.”
“I don’t expect that.”
“I know,” he said earnestly, taking my hand in his. “You’re so wonderful that you don’t have any expectations. But I don’t feel that I can give you what you need until I sort out some of this darkness.”
I nodded, then realized something important. He never told me how he got injured. For all I knew, it could have been something incredibly traumatic.
Usually, people discuss a few details about their injuries, especially if it’s anything they could possibly make a joke about to lighten the mood while they are in physical therapy. James had never breathed a word about it except that one funny comment to my father.
“Molly, I really appreciate you helping me today, and especially getting me an answer immediately so that I didn’t have to wait.”
“I’m also selfish and needed to know for myself.” I tested a little smile as I looked up at him. “I didn’t want to spend the entire weekend wondering whether it was something serious. Plus, you get to skip your exercises for a while. That must be a relief.”
This time he actually cracked a half smile. “Just when I was starting to get better at them.”
James wrapped his strong arm around me, pulling me into his chest as he kissed the top of my hair. “Molly, please forgive me, but I think I need to be alone for a few days to sort some things out.”