But being in that position made me feel fragile, and I hated that. It was like being enveloped by a horrible cloying smell that made me physically sick. Like a skunk, or chemical waste.
The sensation of being weak and sensitive just didn’t work with me. I couldn’t stand it.
And now just when I thought I was over the worst of it, I had to go in to yet another plain beige building, put on a stupid paper-thin blue gown, and be wheeled around while strangers tried to make conversation about the weather to cheer me up.
My phone rang again, and I picked it up to see it was Molly.
I needed to fling it across the wall. I needed to scream at her like a child having a tantrum. Instead, I took a deep breath before hitting the button. “Hello?”
“James, I just wanted to warn you about something,” Molly said quickly in a hushed voice. “I’m sorry, I have to be fast. I’m hiding in the washroom. My boss came by while I was spending so much time on your leg, and she thought there was some funny business going on. I had to tell her about the lump that I was keeping an eye on. But she made sure that I put the note in your file, so your doctor might be calling you soon.”
“They already did.” My voice sounded completely lifeless.
“Crap. I’m so sorry, James. Did they want you to go in for a scan in a few weeks?”
“Lucky me – there was a cancellation, and I’m going in this afternoon,” I said. I knew I sounded bitter, but I couldn’t help it.
“Where are they sending you?”
I told her the clinic and the time, which she sounded happy about. “That place is fantastic,” she said brightly. “You’ll be in good hands there, especially if Karen with the short black hair is working.”
“I don’t want to be in anyone’s hands but yours,” I said. “I thought things were going well. You said that I was making progress.”
“I know,” she said softly, “but it was extensive surgery. Sometimes infections can pop up months later. Especially when there are foreign objects like pins set in an area that moves a lot, like your leg and knee. Please don’t be mad. It really is for the best.”
“I’m not mad,” I said, knowing that my voice betrayed me. “I am annoyed. Can we just leave it at that?”
“All right.” She sounded unsure. “Will you call me when you’re done, and I’ll come meet you anywhere you want for dinner?”
“Let me get through this first,” I said, “Then I’ll call or text you. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I was about to hang up, but it sounded like she had something else to say.
“James, I really care about you. The last thing I would ever want to do is upset you. But your health is really important to me, and I would be both a bad physical therapist and a bad girlfriend if I didn’t do everything I possibly could to take care of you.”
“That’s the problem, baby,” I said sadly. “I want to be the kind of man who takes care of you.”
I heard a faint tapping through the phone, then Molly muttered at lightning speed, “I’m so sorry, I have to get back to work, I’ll call you as soon as I can, bye.”
I should have been taking a shower and getting excited for my date tonight. I should have dug up a bright side to focus on. Instead, I laid on the couch staring at the ceiling while quietly seething until it was time to leave.
CHAPTER TWELVE
* Molly *
I had almost no experience with men, and certainly didn’t know how the mind of a huge tough guy operated. But it felt like James had been trying to choke back his anger on the phone.
Perhaps I should have just left him alone to deal with the situation in his own way. But since it felt like it was partly my fault, I needed to help. Luckily, my clinic wasn’t terribly busy on Friday afternoons, so I was able to sneak out at quarter after two claiming that I had a headache.
My old blue car complained a few times as I raced to his house, pulling up just as James was stepping outside. He was leaning heavily on his cane, and those gorgeous eyes looked like the light had been drained out of them.
“Let me drive you,” I said, jumping out of the car and rushing to his side. “Please? I know exactly where it is, and since I know some people there, maybe I can get you in and out faster.”
He looked at me as if he were half asleep, or falling into a coma. “Sure. Thanks.”
Guiding him to the passenger seat, I adjusted it back to make room for his long legs. As we pulled out of his driveway, I mentioned, “You have a beautiful house.”