I couldn’t get Gianna off my mind. It’s been happening more and more of late, but I find myself blaming everyone for me losing her, though deep down, I know it was my own doing and mine alone. I’m not sure what happened, but I’d missed a step somewhere along the way. Too late, I’ve come to realize that walking away from the best part of your heart isn’t exactly sustainable.
I know I had to let her go because it hadn't taken me long to recognize the threat she posed, that she was the one thing that may have taken me off course, but I couldn’t do it because of Ma, because I owed it to Ma to right the wrong done to her and repay her for all that she’d done to bring me into the world and give me a life better than most.
But at that moment, alone with my thoughts and missing Gianna like a piece of my soul, I allowed myself to be selfish for just a little while. “Gabriel, what’s wrong? You look…”
“Gabe, and it’s nothing.” I can’t stand to hear anyone else call me by that name, not even the woman who’d given it to me. Only Gianna! Damn!
“No, something is wrong, did you…. did you see him?” She held her breath; it was obvious.
“No!”
“Oh, thank heaven.”
“I saw his old man.”
“No, Gabe, why? Why would you get involved with that family?” She took both my hands in hers as if to compel me.
“If you didn’t want me to go there, you should never have told me what was done to you, never told me what I came from. I’m not blaming you; I’m just trying to explain to you why I am who I am and why I have to do what I have to.” It’s the closest I’d ever come to accusing her, but the look of sorrow in her eyes made me feel guilt.
“I’m sorry, Ma, everything’s okay. I’m home now. Where are the twins?”
“Your grandparents took them off somewhere for the weekend. They should be back tomorrow.” Oh, I guess nana forgot to tell me she was leaving town in our last conversation. I heard someone calling for me from downstairs then Lance was bounding up the stairs.
“Go, he’s been like a bear with his paw caught.” She smiled and patted my cheek before I turned and left the room.
“Hey Lancelot, what brings you here? Shouldn’t you be hunting down criminals?”
“Funny, where the heck have you been?”
“I had to take care of something.”
“Still not gonna tell me, huh.”
“Where did the twins go with nana?”
“Oh, that.” He grinned.
“I’m not sure. Uncle Gar was about to go after the grandparent about something or the other, and they hightailed it out of here with the girls, something about gramps not feeling too good and needing sun, so my guess is the island.”
“Why was Uncle Garrett upset with the grands?”
“Beats me, but he and Unc’s been shut away behind closed doors for the last two days or so.”
“Hmm!” Pop snitched, and Uncle Garrett got pissed, and the grands booked it to escape one of his lectures.
“Gabe Russo! Where the hell are you? Get down here.”
“Oops, you’re up. I’ma be in your room when you’re done.” He jogged down the hallway, and I sighed before going to face the fire. I already knew what I was going to say to everyone. Since Ma, Pop, and Lance were taken care of, all that was left with Uncle Garrett and the twins.
He did the same once over up and down as Pop before pulling me in. “You’re okay? Nobody touched you?”
“I’m fine Unc, I….”
“You don’t have to say anything, your father told me. I understand why you did it, but don’t do it again. Let your dad handle it, you hear me?” I just smiled because I won’t lie to him either. “How’s my aunt doing? Is she here with you?”
“No, your grandma, that wretched old woman took her off somewhere with the twins. Your mother was supposed to go too, but she was too worried about you to leave. Sheila went because they took your grandpa Antonelli under the guise of getting him out of the house, and you know those two are joined at the hip.”
“Oh, reinforcements.”
“What was that?”
“Oh, nothing, thanks for checking up on me; Lancelot’ waiting for me. I better go see what he wants.” Yes, and avoid the lecture I know is coming.
“Okay, go ahead, I’m gonna go see your Pop.” Escape!
* * *
GIANNA
* * *
“Oh, poor thing, you look dead on your feet. Why don’t you take a nap? Ron and I got this. You expressed enough milk, and we’ve pureed enough food that we should be fine for a bit.” A nap sounded wonderful, but the guilt would kill me. I hate burdening them even more than I already have. I’ve tried paying them for all the help they’ve given, but they wouldn’t hear of it, which only compounds my guilt.