A young woman in a crisp white cotton blouse and floral skirt approached with a tray of fruity drinks and a cheerful welcome to the resort.
“Bless you,” I said with a smile, taking the glass and enjoying the icy, sweet drink. It went down way too easy.
After taking a second quick sip, I asked her to point me in the direction of the bar where Erin had told me to meet her. I followed the woman down a set of wide stone steps and out of the building on the beach side. The place was a massive resort for adults only set way off the beaten path on its own long stretch of pristine sandy beachfront. The water was an impossible aquamarine sparkling in the tropical sun, so different from the frigid Colorado winter I’d left earlier this morning.
Erin was sitting at a table under the large palapa that covered the bar. She looked beautiful as always, with her blond hair swept off her neck and a tan already warming her skin. But the dark smudges under her eyes showed she hadn’t been sleeping well, and the salad in front of her had barely been picked over.
I texted Jules one more time.
Me: I’m here. She looks really sad. Wish me luck.
“Hey,” I said, sliding the phone into my pocket.
When she noticed me, Erin let out a sound that was a combination of happy, relieved, and surprised before launching herself out of the chair and hugging me tight. My arms came around her automatically, lifting her off the floor the way we’d done a million times before.
“Thank god you’re here,” she said against my ear. “Ugh, what a cluster.”
Her body was so familiar to me, soft and warm, clean-smelling and light. But my reaction was very different. I held her close as a beloved friend, someone I knew well and cherished, just like I always had, but she was not Julian, so I no longer tried to make myself believe that my feelings for her were more than friendship or to wonder why I couldn’t feel more passion for the prettiest woman in the room.
It all seemed so obvious, in retrospect.
I gently pulled away and took the chair next to hers, raising my hand to a nearby server and ordering a large bottle of water as well as another rum punch.
“How are you holding up?” I asked when she settled back into her own seat.
Her chin began to wobble before she spoke. “Oh, Parks. I made a huge mistake.”
“You did,” I agreed. “Driving a Jet Ski while you were drinking? Fuck’s sake, Erin. You know better.”
She sniffed. “Not that. I—I mean, yes, that too, obviously,” she added quickly once she caught sight of the look on my face. “But even before.”
I figured she was talking about Nolan. Part of me wanted to put my arm around her and make her feel better, because god knew that I had done some stupid shit for people I’d dated—like agreeing to marry Erin in the first place—but the other part of me knew she needed something besides sympathy.
“I think you’re lucky you only ended up losing a few thousand bucks and your passport,” I said severely. “You could’ve gotten seriously injured, like Julian did. Remember how awful that was, Erin? Remember how close we came to losing him? One driver made a stupid choice and almost destroyed my whole world.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and I felt like an asshole. I couldn’t comfort her the way I had in the past, with kisses and sex and easy promises. I no longer had any desire to. So I was at a loss.
I sighed and patted her arm gently. “Look, it’ll be okay. We’ll sort everything out.” I made a mental note to ask the desk clerk for an itemized bill, along with a recommendation on where to get passport photos. “But please promise me you’ll be more careful in the future, okay? And maybe avoid guys who can’t use your full name.”
“I swear I will.” She reached out to grab my hand and hold it between her own. They were small and light, strange to hold after the strong grip of Julian’s larger ones. “I’m ready to come home.”
“I bet. We’ll go to the embassy and get you a new passport first thing in the morning. As soon as we have it, we can hop on a plane.”
She gave me a tremulous smile. “And you’ll forgive me? And we’ll be okay?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. You did the right thing by calling off the wedding. And you and I will always be friends. Promise.” I’d meant to reassure her, but as soon as I’d spoken the words, her chin wobble returned.
“But what about our wedding?”
“Our…” I shook my head blankly, sure I’d heard wrong. “What?”
“See, I spent all last night thinking about you and me,” she said in a rush. “I’ve taken you for granted, Parker. I’ve been so unfair to you. Talking about searching for enlightenment and trying to expand my consciousness. God, you must think I’m so stupid. I keep pushing you away when you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. But I get that now. And when we go home, things will be different. We’ll get married for real this time, no more cold feet. And we’ll settle down in Vail or Denver or wherever, and we’ll start our new life. It will all be perfect.”