God. The idea that Parker might feel insecure in our relationship—that he could somehow not be aware, after all these years, that if I was his North Star, he was my fucking sunlight—horrified me. My hands shook as I put the phone on speaker and tried to call up the same website I’d used to book Parker’s ticket. Somehow, the interface had all gotten way more complicated in the past hour, and I couldn’t remember where I was or where I was going.
“Julian,” Hazel said with remarkable patience. “At the risk of repeating myself, brother, you’re kind of an idiot.”
“I know. I’m being ridiculous. But I love him so much, and I… wait, what time is it now?”
She sighed. “Time for me to call Dad and tell him that you need him to arrange that private plane timeshare thing he doesn’t use nearly often enough to justify the cost, while you find your passport.”
“Hazel, I adore you,” I said fervently.
“Back atcha. Just go get your man. Tell him I love him. And tell Erin to fucking call me. Okay?”
I agreed happily, but privately I knew that before I delivered any of Hazel’s messages, I was going to deliver my own. I was going to tell Parker that I loved him, and I was going to make sure he knew I chose him, too…come hell or high water.
But it wasn’t until I walked into the bar of the exclusive resort a few hours later to find Parker and Erin grinning at one another while Lorraine Rokas embraced them and cried, “I always knew you two belonged together!” that I realized exactly what hell looked like.
19
PARKER
By the time I landed in Mexico, I was hot, sweaty, annoyed, and cursing Julian for encouraging me on this stupid journey. I was tired of helping Erin out of trouble. Yes, I was the kind of friend who’d help someone in need, and yes, I prided myself for being there for my friends, but part of me resented this particular time because it was once again Erin pulling me away from Julian without a care in the world for what I wanted and what I needed. Why the hell had I let Julian encourage me to come down here when it felt so wrong to be away from him right now?
One of my flights had been delayed, and then I’d ended up seated next to an airsick toddler on the final leg to Mexico. The small, cramped customs hall had been overheated and understaffed, so when my taxi finally pulled up outside of the exclusive beachfront resort, I heaved a breath of blessed relief.
If only Julian had been there with me. I hadn’t asked him to come because I understood the importance of his meeting with Tiller and Mikey, especially if we wanted to pursue our plan to move to Aster Valley full-time. But I missed him. I’d only had Julian as my official boyfriend for a matter of hours, and now I was separated from him by hundreds or thousands of miles.
I’d tried texting him several times but hadn’t gotten any response yet.
Me: I love you. Good luck in the meeting.
Me: I resent having to fly through Texas to get to Mexico. But… I did have a decent taco during the layover, so there’s that.
Me: Don’t let that weird handyman guy in the house. I got a creepy vibe off him. And who names an old man Tiny? Lock the doors tonight.
Me: What’s the name of that guy who was in the movie with the thing?
Me: One of the Wilson brothers. Does it really matter which one?
Me: If I’m into guys now, do I care which Wilson brother it was?
Me: Can I just be into you and not other guys? I don’t think I care about any of the Wilson brothers. I mean… I like them in movies, I guess. But I wouldn’t want to touch their dicks.
Me: A nun just saw me type the word dicks. Pretty sure I’m on Jesus’s shit list now.
Me: Why didn’t you remind me to wear flip flops? My feet are sweating in these boots.
Me: img90478.jpg
Me: That was a picture of the inside of my pocket. Sorry.
Me: I love you. Text me back or I’m getting on the next flight back to Denver.
Me: Okay, that was a lie. I need a few hours away from airports and airplanes. But text me anyway.
Me: I wish you were here.
I hated not hearing back from him. Julian and I had the kind of relationship where we told each other everything. If I didn’t tell Julian something, it was like it hadn’t happened at all.
So not hearing from him made me even testier. I entered the wide, open-air lobby of the resort and felt the sea breeze hit my skin. Okay, that was nice. I took a deep breath and tried to shake off the travel stress. I’d never been an easy traveler. It was one of the reasons I’d quit skiing professionally.