I discreetly get my phone out of my bag and glance at it.
No missed calls.
I listen to the two of them flirt for a few minutes. “Okay, see you later then.”
She giggles and I know he’s said something playful and sexy. “I look forward to it, bye.” She hangs up and sips her wine.
“Where is he?” I ask, secretly wanting to know where the hell Giuliano is and why the fuck hasn’t he called me?
“They’re at a strip club or some bullshit.”
I blink, surprised. “What? He’s at a strip club?”
“Yeah, that’s what he said.”
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“No.” She shrugs as she fills my wineglass. “It’s obviously innocent or he wouldn’t have told me.”
I frown as I stare at her.
“It’s when they don’t tell you that you have to worry. If he was keeping secrets, I would know he’s up to something.”
“Who’s he with?” I casually ask.
“Giuliano, Alex and Valentino. He said all his work friends, so whoever they are.”
My mother’s warning sets off alarm bells in my psyche.
I tip my head back and gulp my wine.
Giuliano left me at home alone on a Sunday to go to a strip club with the boys.
Wow.
And so it begins.
The clock ticks over to eleven p.m. as I stare at it, my apartment is deathly silent.
And while I lie here in bed alone, he’s at a strip club. I get a vision of what it would be like, him sitting around laughing with the boys, beautiful naked women all throwing themselves at him.
It would be easier for him to walk away, to follow lust and a hot piece of ass.
Loving me is hard work.
I get a vision of him with those two women in the porno, the look on his face as he went between them. The carefree lust in his eyes and I die a little inside.
That’s something I can never give him.
Maybe my mother is right, powerful men who look like him can have any woman they want. Why would he want a complicated relationship with his supposed sister when…?
My eyes well with tears and the lump in my throat begins to hurt.
I’ve never been insecure before, maybe I never loved anyone enough to have a fear of losing them.
What will my life be like without him?
I have to be a realist, maybe we really won’t work out, perhaps this is another life lesson. Maybe his attraction to me is simply that he couldn’t have me?
And now that he does….
I inhale on a shaky breath and think back to how I felt when Carlo called Anna, they’ve been dating for only weeks. And yet somehow, he is more dedicated to her.
I wonder do the strippers have sex with the customers…of course they do.
I angrily wipe my tears away.
Fuck this.
I feel like such a fool.
I hear the front door and I quickly wipe my eyes, I don’t want to deal with him tonight while I’m feeling weak and vulnerable.
I’m not giving him that satisfaction.
The bedroom door opens and he walks in and stands over me for a moment as he watches me, the smell of cigar smoke and alcohol permeate off him.
Asshole.
My eyes stay closed tight as I pretend to be asleep, I hear the shower turn on.
Is he washing another woman off of his skin?
Surely…he wouldn’t…would he?
My eyes well with tears again.
Fuck.
I can’t hold it, I lose control and I begin to cry into my pillow. Hard sobs where my shoulders shake.
“Hey,” he whispers as he sits down beside me, he puts his hand on the back of my head. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
Damn it, I thought he was in the shower. I push my face harder into the pillow, now I’m ashamed of being a cry baby too.
He rolls me onto my back so he can see my face. “Francesca, what’s wrong?”
I screw up my face in tears and stare at him.
“What’s happened?” His face is panicked.
“Were they nice?”
“Was what nice?”
“Don’t insult my intelligence, Giuliano,” I cry as I fly out of bed, I need some distance between us. “Is this how it’s always going to be?”
He frowns as if confused. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“If you think I want their sloppy seconds you’re wrong!” I march out of the room and down the hallway like a firecracker.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he yells as he storms after me.
I throw my hands up in the air. “Deny it. Go on. I dare you.”
He stares at me as if I’ve grown two heads…and maybe I have, he’s never seen my temper before. Hell, I didn’t even know I could be this dramatic.
“You make me fucking crazy!” I yell.
“Obviously.”
Suddenly I’m embarrassed, because I know I’m carrying on like a lunatic and I can’t stop myself. I screw up my face in tears and sob out loud.
“Baby….” His voice softens.
“How do you think it makes me feel, Giuliano?” I sob.