“I would stay here and explain again that Ian and I are just friends,” I say, “but somebody I know said they had to work.”
“I do. But I’m also right. We’ve been over this. I see all and I—”
“Right, Sauron.” I pat her shoulder as I hop to my feet. “Good luck with your work. I’m going to go write a paper about the beneficial effects of play for the adult brain.”
Jess looks up, blinking as if she’s emerging from a fog. “Oh, that reminds me, I won’t be able to make it to sex tutoring tomorrow night. We have a mandatory work team-building thing. We’re going to a trampoline park.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“If you enjoy having your internal organs rearranged, I guess.” She shrugs. “Can you let Ian know?”
“I won’t be here tomorrow night, either,” Cameron says, poking his head out of his room, making us both jump and cry out in surprise. He grins and rubs his puffy eyes. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I thought you were at work,” Jess says.
“Nope, I’m off today, so I decided to load up on naps. Just woke up a few minutes ago.” He runs a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. “Did I miss any good gossip? You two have your gossip faces on.”
“Not really,” Jess says, proving she’s still the same trustworthy vault she’s been since we were in middle school. “Just work drama, but I’m on top of it.” She glances back to me, pushing her glasses up her nose. “So, I guess we should tell Ian not to bother coming over tomorrow night?”
“Or give up on Sex Class altogether,” Cam says, with a yawn. “I hate to be Danny Downer, but I don’t think Ian is going to be able to help us. His experience is skewed by being a hot, famous professional athlete. Our dating lives aren’t really comparable, if you know what I mean.”
“You’re hot, Cam,” I say, arching a brow as he yawns again, showcasing his tonsils. “When you remember to cover your mouth when you yawn, of course.”
He chuckles. “Sorry.”
“And you can cook,” Jess says. “I know tons of girls who would date you for the gourmet meals alone. You just need to find a woman who’s food motivated and likes nice guys.”
“Or I could embrace my dark side,” he says with a sleepy grin that makes his dimples pop.
Jess and I both laugh.
“Hey, I have a dark side,” he says, glancing down at his pajama pants with the sleeping cats on them. “Though I can see your point. I’d need a wardrobe change.”
“And a personality transplant,” I say. “You’re a sweetheart, Cam. And that’s one of the best things about you. You shouldn’t change that to pull tail, especially if you want the tail to stick around long term. You want to find someone who’s smart enough to adore you just the way you are.”
Cam sighs. “That’s the dream, anyway. Thanks, Evie.” He glances back and forth between us. “What do we think? Should we tell Ian we’ll find our way on our own? I vote yes.”
“I think so, too,” Jess says, turning back to her screen. “He means well, but you’re right, he’s not on our wavelength. Will you text him for us, Evie? Tell him it’s not him, it’s us, or whatever gentle breakup thing you should say to your amateur sex therapist.”
“Yeah, I will,” I say, backing toward my room.
“But is that okay with you, Evie?” Cam asks. “I mean, you get a vote, too, and I think it should be unanimous. Otherwise, I’m happy to resume class next week or whatever.”
“I agree with you guys,” I say. “I think this is a journey we each have to make on our own.”
But once I’m tucked away in my room, I don’t text Ian right away. Instead, I sit staring at our text thread, wondering if I should cancel our meeting, as well, and not for the reasons I gave Jess. If I’m honest, it’s not worry about all the stressful things on Ian’s plate that’s tempting me to cancel; it’s the way I felt last night.
Like I never wanted our co-ed naked play time to end.
Like I would be perfectly happy if I died right there on the floor of his apartment, as long as I got to come again on his wickedly talented mouth first.
Like I wanted to stay and sleep in his big, cozy-looking bed with him, wake up with his arms around me, and share our plans for the day over breakfast. I want to be with him, enjoy him, support him, and not just as a friend.
“Looks like you’re as bad at casual as you are at trying to start something serious,” I mutter to myself, while my gut quietly, but insistently warns that this longing I’m feeling will only get worse if Ian and I seal the deal Friday night.