They could be mine.
A wave of misplaced possessiveness rolls through me. The thought of them returning to Caleb’s house grinds my teeth together. The thought of Iris in his bed is physically painful, clenching my gut. They’re both Caleb’s, and I covet them.
But one flash of that however-many-carat diamond on her finger reminds me how futile hope is.
When they reach us, Iris glances uncertainly from me to Sylvia and clears her throat.
“August, could I, um, speak to you before you go?” she asks, fixing her eyes on me and not straying to Sylvia.
“Sure,” I say easily, like she and I talk every day. “See you tomorrow, Sylvia.”
Sylvia interprets the comment as the dismissal it is and considers us speculatively before smiling, saying her goodbyes, and walking away.
“You need something?” I ask abruptly. “My ride’s probably waiting.”
She flinches at the impatience in my voice, and I feel like an asshole. Sarai wiggles on her hip and blinks at me with long, curly lashes. I bend until I’m level with Sarai and smile into her violet–blue eyes. I’ll regret this, but the kid’s as irresistible as her mother.
“She’s gotten so big,” I tell Iris but don’t look away from the little girl staring back at me.
“Yeah.” Iris laughs. Sarai’s dark curls have grown longer since I last saw her, and Iris brushes them back from her face. “It’s going too fast already.”
Sarai reaches out and grabs a handful of my hair, pulling my face closer. It also brings me closer to Iris. I ignore the electric field our nearness creates and focus on Sarai. She drags her little hand over my eyes and nose, leaving a wet trail of exploration.
“Oh, God.” Iris points to the wet patch I feel on my cheek. “She got you. I’m sorry.”
When I allow myself to look at Iris again, the shadow is gone. Humor and affection light her eyes, for her daughter, maybe for me. If anything, she’s more beautiful than the girl I met in the bar a few years ago. There’s a strength, a maturity, a resolve—I don’t know what has added dimension to what she was before, but it stirs a hunger in me. Not just to taste her body, but to know her heart. To read her mind and share her thoughts.
Fuck. I cannot make myself stop wanting this woman. And as Sarai flashes her little dimpled smile up at me, I want her in my life, too. I want too much. I want things I can’t have, things that aren’t mine, but that kid who showed up every Saturday before the community center doors opened, who was always the last to leave the court, he never learned to stop wanting impossible things.
The humor fades from Iris’s eyes, the smile melts from her wide, sweet mouth, and she releases a ragged breath. She feels it, too. I don’t have to ask if she does. Her widened eyes and stuttering breath, the answering jerk of awareness from her body to mine tell me. But too much stands between us: another man and the gaudy ring on her finger, circumstances I don’t understand. We’re separated by an incalculable dista
nce, but she feels so close.
“I’m not engaged,” she says softly, catching me off guard.
“What’d you say?” I glare at the ring on her left hand. “Then what does that ring mean?”
“Caleb asked me to marry him, but I haven’t said yes.” Her jaw flexes and her eyes ice over. “I don’t plan to say yes, but he wants me to wear it for now—wants me to think about it.”
“I don’t get it.” The more she reveals, the less I understand.
“I know, and I can’t fully explain, but one day I will. I have to work this out on my own.” She drops a kiss on Sarai’s head resting on her shoulder. “Just know that she’s the most important thing—securing Sarai’s future is the most important thing.”
“Securing her future? You mean money? Do you need money, because I can—”
“Please don’t insult me. I’m not with Caleb for the money.” A quick frown pleats her dark brows. “I mean, money is a factor, but not the way you might think.”
If hope is the gap between what if and what is, her words, these few moments shorten that distance. I tentatively run a hand over Sarai’s soft curls. She giggles and buries her head in Iris’s shoulder, shyly peeking back out at me. God, these two could tie me in a knot with their hands behind their backs. Effortlessly.
“I better go.” Iris looks at her watch, her eyes wide and panicked. “My ride’s probably waiting, too.”
“You didn’t drive?” I walk beside her, holding the door open so she can pass ahead of me.
She glances across the street and up the sidewalk in the direction of a large black SUV. Her eyes go wide and she swallows, looking back to me.
“Don’t walk with …You don’t need to walk with us. We’ll be fine. My ride’s here.”
She swings her head back to look at the SUV once more before flashing me a quick smile and wave.