That does it. I’m done. I wave to the waiter and he comes over immediately. “Can you please bring the check, please? We’re done here.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Joely interrupts. “I’m not quite done yet, but I really do need to use the bathroom again.”
I give the server a meaningful look.
“Please bring the check asap.”
The good man knows who’s boss and nods as Joely once again goes to scratch herself. At this point, I’m surprised she doesn’t just do it right here in front of everyone because she certainly announced her problem loud enough for the entire restaurant to hear. In fact, at this very moment, I’m getting weird looks from the other patrons, and it’s clear they know the story. This is a disaster. I’ll never live this down once word starts to spread.
When Joely returns after her most recent trip, I’m just signing the receipt for our meals and toss an extra hundred dollar bill on the table. She nods approvingly.
“That’s quite a tip. You’re very generous, and I know we can make this work.”
I stare at her.
“Honey, the money’s not for the restaurant; the cash is for you. Take the money and go to the pharmacy. Get some cream to relieve your itch before going out in public again.”
Her face falls, the pretty features becoming ugly. “What?”
“You heard me. Go take care of yourself, Joely. It’s a medical necessity, and you never should have come out to begin with.”
Then, over her protests, I walk to the coat check before retrieving my jacket and heading to the door.
Once I step out into the cold night air, my shoulders slump with defeat. This is what I get for trying to fit into society’s expectations for me. People think that as a rich man, I should be with skinny blonde bimbos, but they’re wrong. Sure, maybe not every date is this bad given the whole crabs thing, but pretty much every excursion with a woman ends in horrific disappointment.
Quickly, I get into my car before driving home and stepping inside. Then I head straight for the master suite and flop down face first. I knew I’d be miserable on this date, but I can’t believe things devolved to such a low point. When will I meet a real woman? And how? I have no idea, and let out a groan of distress.
2
Cameron
* * *
The next day, I show up at my younger brother’s house for a visit. Chase is a great guy, and he’s always up for fun. Even more, he’s in a polyamorous relationship with Patty, his wife, and another man named Chris. At first, I was weirded out by the whole thing, but now that they’ve been married for a while, I can see that it works. Heck, it even seems intriguing, to tell you the truth.
I mope for a moment in my sedan and then the front door of the house flies open.
“You gonna sit in the car all night or get your ass in here?” Chase calls from the stoop.
I grin.
“It’s nice out here.”
My younger brother guffaws.
“It’s nicer inside. Come on, don’t be the weird guy who hangs out in his vehicle for kicks. Besides, Luna has been asking about Uncle Cameron all day.”
I grin. Luna is my one-year-old niece who’s just started to talk and she’s a total sweetheart. I love her to death, and while it’s surprising Chase is actually a parent, I admit that he, Chris and Patty are doing a great job raising their little girl.
I climb out of the car and step into the home, where I’m immediately attacked by a toddler with spunky pigtails who doesn’t even reach above my knees.
“Unky Cam, Unky Cam!” she chants, holding her arms out. I scoop her up and cuddle her against my broad chest.
“How is my favorite niece?”
She grins at me, not quite understanding what I’m saying. After all, Luna’s still young and doesn’t quite have conversations yet. She’ll learn how to respond soon enough.
“Unky Cam!” she repeats, her eyes bright. Then she pulls out a toy car out of nowhere and starts rolling it on my face.
“Luna, stop that,” Patty mock-scolds, appearing from the kitchen. “Not everyone is a race track.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind,” I chuckle.
“Vroom!” Luna says. We all laugh, and I greet my hosts, still holding little Luna in my arms.
“How are you guys?” I ask. “Holding down the fort okay? How’s the gym business?”
By now, Chris has made an appearance too, and he and Chase smile proudly. Both men are fitness trainers, and their physiques show it. They’re broad-chested with black hair, and they’ve both got shoulders like bricks and abs you can bounce quarters off of. Even more, the two now own a gym together called C&C Fitness, and it’s been popular of late.
“Doing great,” Chris says proudly. “We’ll probably open another location soon.”