I wanted it this way.
It was the only way he’d ever take it. I needed to push him to the brink of insanity for him to claim me. Jax didn’t like to share—he was selfish. His ego was bigger than his reasoning in this situation, and I knew I’d get what I wanted out of him. There was no going back. I was his now.
The way I wanted to be.
The way he wanted me to be.
I spoke from the heart. “I love you, Jax. I’m yours.”
“Fuck…” he scoffed out, starting to remove himself from me.
“No!” I grabbed onto his arms. They were the only thing I could reach. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
“Was there another guy?”
I shook my head.
“Then who did you take the video with?”
“Melissa was here with her boyfriend, and she let me use him for the video. I told her I was seeing some guy, and I wanted to make him jealous.”
“You lied to me.”
“Don’t be mad.”
“I’m furious with you.”
“Then take it out on my body.”
“For fuck’s sake, Sophie! Did I… Are you… Shit, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“I could have really hurt you.”
“It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been putting me through.”
He thought about it for a second, shaking his head.
I couldn’t tell if he was disappointed in himself or me, it was probably both, but I didn’t care.
I wanted him.
Even if this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, it was ours. This moment he couldn’t take away from me.
In a sincere tone, he shared, “I wasn’t purposely staying away. I’ve just… I’ve… I’ve thought about you every day. You never leave my mind. You’re always there. I see your face, I hear your laugh, I can feel you in my arms, smell you on my fucking pillow. You’re everywhere. There’s no escaping you. You’re embedded in my head, and I’m at a loss with what to do.”
“What about your heart? Am I there too?”
“I don’t even know what love is. All I know is that I think about you all the time. I missed you, Soph. I missed you so fucking much it hurts to be away from you.”
I smiled. It wasn’t the three words I wanted to hear, but it was as close as I was going to get to them.
For now.
I moved my hips, hoping that he would understand my silent plea. When his fingers moved to my clit, I started to feel that haze in my mind.
That trembling in my legs.