Everyone else moved around him, stopping at various tables to check out the selection, then picking up a book and flipping it over to the back to read more about it. Bishop’s heart started to race. Did those people even know how lucky they were? Did they take their education for granted or did they ever think about the people who didn’t make it, but had slipped through the cracks? Bishop didn’t blame any system for the choices he’d made. All he wanted now was a chance to start over. Maybe even do it right this time. But, that would never happen if he kept letting fear grip him. Not the fear of being illiterate. More the fear of being condemned for being illiterate.
He had to make the conscious choice to change his situation himself. He’d get his CD book then he’d see if they had anything on beginning reading. Bishop craned his head in different directions, scanning for something that resembled what Sil had given him. He walked down an empty aisle, noticing the books on those shelves looked like comics and graphic art. He wanted to stop and pick one up, but he figured he better first get what he came for, before he checked out something else. He wanted to stay there all night and go through everything they had, but it felt like he wore a blinking red sign over his head that flashed I can’t read.
He must’ve appeared lost no matter how hard he’d tried, because a young, pimply-faced boy walked up to him, wearing a dark green employee shirt and asked if he could help him find anything. Bishop remembered going through that awkward phase of a high-pitched voice and acne that wouldn’t quit. He also remembered Mike telling him that getting pimples meant it was time for a boy to get some ass and become a man. And Bishop had been damned, it’d worked. Mike wasn’t parent of the year, but that was how he’d grown up.
Bishop was glad it was this kid who’d asked to help him. “Yeah. I’m looking for your book CDs.”
The kid frowned. He had a clipboard in his hand and a tablet resting on top of that. “Book CD?”
Shit. Now he wasn’t sure if he was calling them the correct thing. “Yeah. The books that are on CD ROM.”
The employee snapped his fingers then popped himself in the side of the head. “Audiobooks! Right.” The kid pointed over Bishop’s shoulder. “You don’t hear CD ROM much anymore, but yeah, we do have some hard copies in here.”
Audiobooks. Got it. Hard copies? Bishop wasn’t sure if that was what he was looking for but he followed the kid anyway.
“Right over here.” He pointed at the different shelves. “This is all we carry in the store, but if you have a title you want me to look up I can see if we have it and order it for you.”
“No.” Bishop nodded. “This is good.”
“Okay. I’ll be around.” The guy moved off and Bishop found himself smiling at how much easier that’d been than he thought. Young dude hadn’t suspected a thing. Bishop walked closer to the shelves, avoiding the books that were pastel-looking and sweet, and instead started scoping for covers that had some men on the front, preferably with guns, or running in a dark alley, or standing in front of an explosion. Something that screamed mystery and suspense, not, orgasms await.
He found one of a lonely man standing in front of large window staring out across a lake. A book by L.T. somebody. Then he selected one with a silhouetted man walking down a dimly lit street with a kid beside him. Bishop recognized the word assassin in the title from his favorite video game called Assassin’s Creed. This one’s got to be good. He wanted to keep searching and buy them all, but at ten ninety-nine each, he’d stick with just two.
“You all straight, dude?” The kid intercepted him when he was walking towards the checkout. Bishop was feeling elated with his new audiobooks, his own books. Now all he had to do was keep making strides to better his life.
“Actually. I am looking for one more thing.”
“Sure. Come on over here.” The young man swerved through the maze of tables and counters until he got to a customer service station in the center of the store. He pecked some keys on the keyboard and brought the monitor to life then asked Bishop what title he needed.
“I don’t have a title. What section is the… learn-how-to-read books?” Bishop had lowered his voice on the last part of his question, even though there was no one else at the counter.
“For what grade?” The guy asked.
Bishop grimaced. Dammit. His mind was already screaming for him to run, abort. Bishop felt someone approach on his right side waiting for service, gaping right at them. Was there no privacy with counter transactions anymore? Or did he just feel as if everybody was watching him.