“I’m not sure if I love him,” I go on.
“Hmm-mm.” She nods.
“I don’t know what love is.”
“I think imagining a future together, knowing you want to be with that person forever, hating the idea of them being with anyone else, wishing you could be with them every second of every day… I think that’s getting close.”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I just can’t risk scaring him away.”
“I’ll support whatever decision you make,” she says softly. “But I think it’s worth considering.”
“Thanks, Paula,” I say. “And thanks for not calling me cuckoo.”
“Oh, you’re definitely cuckoo.” She giggles. “But maybe he is too.”
As I walk away from campus toward the bus stop, my phone rings from my pocket. I clench my fists instinctively, wondering what I’m going to do if it’s Declan.
I’ll have to tell Asher, surely, and that means he’ll go into full primal predator mode, hunting Declan down like he promised.
But then a smile spreads across my face.
It’s not Declan. It’s Asher.
“Hello,” I say, all breathy.
“It’s so good to hear your voice,” he says huskily. “Have you finished work?”
“Yeah, I’m just about to catch the bus home.”
“You better not be doing anything this evening. I’ve got some business to handle with my agent, but after, I’m taking you out. I want to show off my new girlfriend.”
A tingle dances up my spine. I’ve never been shown off before.
“But,” he goes on, “no man better try to take you from me… let’s just say it wouldn’t end well if someone did try.”
My core gives an urgent pulse, screaming at me to let it all out now. He’s already getting possessive, already letting me know he can’t stand the idea of another man making a move on me. Surely that’s enough to prove that he feels more strongly for me than boyfriends regularly do after a single day of being together.
No, I can’t risk it.
“Maybe I shouldn’t wear anything too risqué, then. In fact, I’m not sure I own anything risqué. Actually, I think this might be the first time in my life I’ve used the word risqué.”
He chuckles. “You’re so adorable, Autumn, the cutest, most adorable girlfriend a man could ask for. Wear whatever you’re comfortable in. You’ll be beautiful no matter what, anyway.”
His words make me glow all over, and then I have to clamp my mouth shut. Paula has set my mind on a dangerous track. I almost just said I love you, which would surely make him hang up the phone as quickly as he possibly could.
“I’ll pick you up at seven,” he says. “See you soon. And Autumn…”
I swallow. “Yeah?”
He pauses. I imagine him clutching the phone tightly, his body pumped with desire. “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me neither.”
I hang up and lean against the bus stop, a wide grin on my face, struggling to believe my life has changed so much so fast.
What if it’s all taken away? What if something terrible happens to end it?
I don’t want to think like this, but it’s difficult after what happened with my mom and dad.
I can’t be the one to end it.
No matter what Paula says, there’s no way he feels the same, no way he’s already thinking about babies and marriage and a life well spent at this moment.
I’ll take it one step at a time. Just focus on the date.
And let tomorrow take care of itself.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Asher
“That motherfucker,” I snarl, as I leaf through the photos on Lex’s desk. “So he’s dealing drugs and to kids too?”
The photos all show Declan sitting in his car, and then a series of shots of adults and teenagers approaching the passenger-side window as they exchange packages and money. The more I see, the tighter my chest becomes, as I imagine this lowlife doing the same with mine and Autumn’s future children.
“Yeah,” Lex says. “The PI’s got more photos too.”
I lean back in my seat, looking across at my agent and friend. Lex is tall and thin, his jet-black hair combed neatly, a few years younger than me but well-seasoned in his work.
“I take it he’s passing them onto the police?”
“I thought I’d ask you first.”
“Definitely pass them on,” I tell him. “We can’t have this bastard getting away with this. At least he didn’t call Autumn again last night. I would’ve gone berserk.”
“It sounds like you already did,” Lex banters. “He must’ve had one hell of a fright. He thought he was calling up to threaten a woman. And then it turns out she’s got you watching her back. I bet the little worm was terrified.”
“He should be terrified. He’s got no right to talk to my girlfriend that way.”
Lex shakes his head, grinning. “You move fast, man. She’s your girlfriend already.”
“She’s going to be a whole lot more than that.”
“Have you decided what you’re going to do about telling her?”