“You want to move in with her, and start a family with her.”
“I’ve been thinking about her nonstop ever since I saw her,” I admit. “She was eighteen at the time and… and hell, Lex. I never wanted to be the man who goes for a woman so much younger than him. But with Autumn, I don’t care about her age. And I don’t think she cares about mine either.”
“But you haven’t told her any of this?”
I laugh drily. “I’m sure she’d think I’m as cracked as you do.”
“I don’t think you’re insane, but yeah, it’s a lot to take in. I had no idea. Three years.”
“Three years,” I say, as the force of it slams into me. “Three long years. And then there she was a few blocks over, at the exact right time. I’m not a superstitious man, but it’s got me thinking.”
“What, you think fate had a part to play?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to be sure about anything anymore. There’s only one thing I’m certain of, and it’s that I can’t stop thinking about Autumn. I can’t stop imagining a life with her. And I have to help her, Lex. I have to. There’s no way I can let this Declan bastard torture her for the rest of her life.”
“I never pegged you for a hopeless romantic,” Lex teases. “But jokes aside, I hope she feels the same. I hope you can both be happy together.”
“What are the chances she feels the same?” I ask.
“I have no idea,” Lex says.
“Come on, man.” I laugh grimly. “If I told her how I feel. If I told her I want to spend the rest of my life with her – that I wanted it from the first moment I saw her before we’d even spoken – she’d run as far away from me as she possibly could.”
“Maybe,” Lex says. “Or maybe you’d be pleasantly surprised. You don’t know one way or the other right now. I do have a piece of advice, though.”
“Let me have it.”
“Don’t let this stand in the way of you getting to know her better, of developing the relationship, whatever direction it takes.”
“I want that so badly,” I say. “But I’m worried it’s all going to come out. It’s so difficult not to tell her. And say we do get close, say we start to form a bond, am I supposed to keep this a secret?”
“No, I’m not saying that. Maybe just try not to overthink it so much. Take it one step at a time.”
“Thanks, Lex. I’ll try. Send over those questions for Autumn. I’ll pass them on.”
“Will do. And Asher.”
“Yeah?”
“Crazy or not, it’s good to hear you’ve found somebody.”
“I thought you weren’t getting all lovey-dovey,” I banter. “But no, seriously, thanks. Speak later.”
“Bye.”
I hang up and keep driving, pondering Lex’s words.
I expected him to tell me I’d completely lost it, but now it’s like he’s introduced the possibility that this can work.
Maybe I can get to know her.
Maybe, just maybe, she feels the same way I do. Or she will if we spend more time together.
Or these could all be justifications because I need to be with her, need to kiss her and hold her and make love to her, to pump my seed into her until she’s glowing with pregnancy.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Autumn
I sit in the passenger side of Asher’s car as he guides us through the city, my most important belongings in the trunk, a few bags of clothes piled on the backseat. The apartment is furnished, so there was no reason to haul my old couch out.
I feel like I’m in a dream every time I look over at him, his face in profile, his strong jaw outlined in the street lamps. The sunset has turned a gorgeous deep red, giving everything a surreal quality.
As if this situation isn’t surreal enough.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?”
He chuckles. “It’s a little late to ask me that now.”
“It’s not. We could turn back.”
He glances at me, again with that difficult-to-read look on his face. It’s like he’s trying to hold something back, and a paranoid part of me warns that this whole thing could be a trick.
“Do you want to turn back?” he asks.
“No,” I admit. “Just…”
“What, Autumn? What are you thinking?”
“One time, Declan took me to a dog shelter. This was about a month after we’d moved in together, and he’d shown me his true colors. He said he wanted to make it up to me, making me believe he’d been in a bad mood and that’s why he was behaving so horribly. He introduced me to the cutest dog you’ve ever seen, telling me it was mine, ours… and then he watched me as the family it really belonged to showed up and took the little guy home.”
“That’s sick,” Asher growls.
“That’s Declan,” I counter.