“How dare you!” I screamed, “You obviously don’t know a thing about me or about Anthony!”
“I know enough,” he screamed, “I know that the only reason a man like that would want her is so that he could have leverage in the deal. So, now I’m asking for my leverage. Where’s your loyalty to your family?”
“What the hell is the matter with you?” I demanded but realized as I was speaking that I didn’t care. Whatever his answer was didn’t matter to me. So, without waiting for a response, I turned around and stormed out of the house.
As soon as I slammed the door, I was running to my car.
Tears were flooding my eyes and my breath was audible.
I heard my father call out into the night, but my mind was long past him and my mother, for letting him speak to me like that. She might not have liked what he was saying but she sure as hell didn’t do anything to stop him and so, I was finished with both of them.
As I turned the key in the ignition and peeled out of the long driveway, I wondered what had taken me so long to realize that was how they truly felt?
While I drove, millions of signs leading up to tonight flooded my memory and in hindsight, they were all so obvious.
The problem with my life wasn’t that I lived in a small town or that my family had money that they didn’t earn. It was that my parents never intended to let me live my own life. It didn’t matter whether I was an adult, or not. If I had continued to keep up appearances and maintain a relationship with my family, I was never going to have the chance to live my own life.
With that epiphany, I was set. I no longer wanted any part of my parents, or Anthony.
As I reached the hotel where Anthony was staying and stormed up to his room, I had two distinct goals paving my intentions. The first, was to ruin my parents’ deal with Anthony completely and the second was to make Mr. Shields leave this shitty little town and never come back.
Chapter 10
I pounded on the door and it seemed as though the whole floor was shaking. However, looking back, I was fairly certain that it was me that shook.
I was manic with pain and fury, but it was clarifying. For that moment, it was freeing, and I would rather feel that way than be blinded by the social and familiar ties that previously bound me.
For as much as I had always wanted to get away and for as much as I had tried to rebel, I was still tethered by the weight of making my parents proud of me. I realized that I was about to fall right into their trap, regardless of how much I thought I was pulling away.
Yet, tonight, for the first time, I had heard the truth. There was no blessing of my heart, no head games that I foolishly fell for and there was no mercy. Finally, my parents had proven to me what I never really wanted to know. Everything I said about them and everything I accused them of was true.
Secretly, I had wished to be proven wrong, which is why I allowed the townspeople and the social structure of our small-town guilt me into feeling anything other than resentment for my parents.
Although, now, I was free of all that and soon, I would also be free of this silly love affair.
It seemed to take forever for Anthony to answer the door but when he did, I felt my resolve dissipate slightly.
“Sahara? What the hell is wrong with you?” Anthony demanded, lightly grasping my elbow, and ushering me inside while he looked up and down the hallway for the cause of my outburst.
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed, yanking my arm out of his grasp as he carefully closed the door. “Did you lie to me?”
“I’m sorry, what?” He asked, recoiling slightly from my strange response. “Lie to you?” He continued, trying to piece together what parts he might understand enough to comment on.
“Don’t play stupid,” I retorted with a huff, crossing my arms in front of my chest and facing him.
Ignoring what I had said, his face fell into confusion and concern when I faced him.
“Why…Are you crying?” He demanded.
Enraged that I had let him see what was left of my breakdown, I roughly swiped the remaining tears off my face.
“That’s none of your business!” I screamed, “Answer my question!”
“What do you think I lied to you about?” Anthony asked softly, a stark contrast to my obnoxious wrath.
I could tell that he wanted to reach out to me, presumably to comfort me, or to distract me.
Since I couldn’t be sure which was the truth, I pulled my arms in tighter across my chest and backed away from him.