“No, no, this isn’t the wedding, it’s my best friend’s big day. I’m happy for her. It’s… something else.”
I can’t explain, I don’t know how I would even begin saying this to someone else. In fact, I need to get the hell away before I speak out and say too much. Tamara can’t know, no matter what.
I keep the silence and stalk across the room, clicking my heels as I go. I need to get the hell out of this room before it suffocates me. I can’t watch Alistair with another woman. Even if I know it’s happening, I can’t see it. I keep that one determined thought in my mind all the way to the cloak room where I pause to take a breath. There’s no one here, the employee won’t be back until later on in the evening when people start to leave so I can have some much needed moments just by myself to get him out of my head. Even if he’s always there.
“Hey, Prissy Pants.” I roll my eyes closed as his voice follows me. “What ya doing out here all alone?”
“Just leave me alone,” I spit back. “I don’t want to speak to you right now.”
The heat of his body moves closer to me but I don’t turn. Let him speak to my back if that’s what he wants to do. Which when his hands rest on my shoulders, it seems like he does. His touch sends much too familiar sparkles trickling all the way down to my core, but I refuse to let the shudder free. I can’t let him know that he affects me.
He affects me more than anyone else has ever done before, he drags something new out of me. I like who I am around him, he really does set me free, but we cannot just be. He’s not one for commitment, it won’t ever happen. I can’t keep being just a hook up for him unless I want to end up with a shattered heart.
“Then let’s not speak, that must be the easiest way.”
He grabs my hips in a commanding way and spins me around. I make eye contact with him for just a second before his mouth crashes down against mine. I thrash and fight him, trying to get him off me because this isn’t supposed to be happening again, least of all in pu
blic, but soon, as always, I mold and cave.
I’m just a human being. A red hot blooded woman, and he transforms me into a beast.
Once he knows that he has me, Alistair slips his hand into mine and he drags me fully into the cloak room. In and among the coats it feels like we’re alone, like we have total privacy which causes fireworks to explode. When he kisses me again I can admit to myself that I don’t want him to hook up with anyone else, I want him to be with me. Every time we have sex, I never want it to end, even when I say it, I want us to continue.
“Oh no,” I groan quietly while tossing my head back. “Why can’t I resist you?”
He hitches my skirt up over my thighs and rubs one over his velvety fingers over the silk of my panties. “Because, my dear…” His seductive words cause a heat to pool. “I’m irresistible, didn’t you know?”
I hook my hands around his neck and crash his lips against mine to silence him. His words are too much, they’re making me think, and if there’s one thing I need to not do around Alistair Chance, it’s think. My brain hurts, all logic fails me and I need to just feel instead. The sensations are so much easier to handle. They make sense. They are the only thing that does.
I let him command my core with his fingers. He slides into my panties uninvited and massages me there. His expert touch is too much to handle, I realize that I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I spotted him at the other end of the aisle looking utterly delicious in his well fitting tuxedo. The trousers of which my fingers are now hungrily grabbing at as if there’s no tomorrow. I need that zipper down, I want him out.
“Oh fuck.” He buries his face in my neck, his words vibrating all over my throat as I wrap my fingers tightly around him. He wants to resist me, I can almost feel him pulling back as he tries to regain control which makes my next move simple. I want the power over him and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it. It’s always like this between us, a struggle to keep control, we both want to be on top… so I drop to my knees and I wrap my eager lips around him. I cover him with my wet mouth and taste him all over.
“Fucking hell, Kitty Kat.” Outside of the bedroom, he’ll only call my Katherine or something insulting, usually Little Miss something or other. But in the bedroom, I’m Kitty Kat, and it makes me growl deliciously. “You are too fucking good at that. It isn’t fair, it’s too… it’s too…”
I dart my eyes upwards to watch his head loll to one side. I dart out my tongue and flick it everywhere. He likes to be licked, to really be tasted, as I take as much of him as I can without gagging. I know this because we’ve done this too many times. We’ve been in the same position over and over…
I slide my eyes closed and pump my mouth harder, trying to block out any thoughts because they’re unhelpful. However wrong this is, we’re here now, the least I can do is get some pleasure from it.
“Oh, you need to stop that now.” His fingers knot up in my hair. “Unless you want a sticky chin that is.”
From anyone else, that comment would utterly disgust me, I’ve never been one to like any sort of filthy talk, it normally makes me shudder, but with Alistair, somehow it just manages to turn me on more. He really does unhinge me, he takes everything that normally makes me me and sends it spinning wildly into the air.
A drag my lips off him tantalizingly slowly, teasing him for a few more seconds, but he can’t take it for too long. He tucks his hands under my armpits and slams his mouth against mine once more.
“Now,” he growls while reaching into his pocket. “Are you going to put the rubber on, or am I? Seeing Tamara and Logan with the twins has put me off having kids… you know, maybe forever.”
I laugh at his joke and snatch the condom from him. I tear it apart with my teeth and roll it down over his soaking wet erection. As soon as it’s on, he grabs my butt and lifts me up as if I weigh nothing. The muscles in his arms ripple, causing an involuntary moan to come flying out of my mouth.
“Now then, Kitty Kat.” He traces kisses over my cheek and neck. “Let’s make this wedding one to remember.”
With that, he slams his cock into me, his powerful thrust sending my head spinning. I love the sensation of him burying himself into me, it’s really something else, and as each thrust manages to lightly brush past my clit it really isn’t long until the hot pool of bliss in my stomach starts to spread. It creeps through my veins like a gorgeous heat, bringing me to the brink. It’s building, the intensity is getting higher, I call feel myself on the knife edge, any minute now I know I’m going to…
“Oh. Alistair!” I no longer care about being quite for the sake other people. This moment isn’t about them, let them find out. I want to bask in the glory that is everything Alistair, as the orgasm shatters through me, rolls over me, swallows me up. “Oh, fucking hell, that feels so good.”
He grips onto me tightly, giving me an intense stare as he does. I feel something coming from Alistair, something that could be… more, if we wanted it to be, something that could be everything…
But then the hot bliss explodes from him too and the heady rush of passion subsides. As my breathing slows, my heart calms down, and the hot rush fades away, I’m left a very familiar sense of regret and shame.