“I’ll set the alarm for before that so you can get out of here before too many people are out and about, okay?” His question reminded me of what we were doing all over again, and ice washed through my veins. He did something on the table beside the bed as I froze.
“Do you want me to leave?” I asked as he pulled me against his naked body, seeming to want to comfort me.
“No, Elena. Not at all, but this is what it is.” I remained quiet as he held me, my hands pressed against his chest as I pretended to sleep. I felt his breath even out after a while and assumed that he was sleeping before I let a tear slide down my cheek. I was so foolish for being here and letting my feelings for him continue and grow. I was going to get hurt at the end, and I tried to tell myself that he wasn’t worth the pain.
I fell asleep a couple of hours later, exhausted from the inner turmoil in my head. The room was comfortable, and I felt like I was sinking into the mattress, but his touch and scent kept me awake for a while.
Liam
I heard the alarm chime when the room was still dark, reaching over to silence it before the arm body pressed closer to me. I stopped, thinking for a moment before I remembered last night. Sleeping over was not something that happened in my world, not at my place or anybody else’s. I liked the feeling of Elena beside me as emotion tore through me, knowing what we were and how much that would prevent me from being able to fall for her.
Was I already?
She was beautiful, sweet and innocent in ways that I hadn’t seen in a woman for a long time. Elena was irresistible. I knew that I couldn’t resist her with every day that I saw her and running into her at the coffee shop seemed like fate to me. It was fate, or it was the end of me, and I sagged against my pillow again. I knew that she had to leave when it was still dark out, as much as I hated the idea. Elena could not be seen here, and since I kept to myself and didn’t know many of my neighbors, I had to stick to the rules that I was slowly making in my head. Anything to keep her around a little longer. When the alarm went off again, I rolled over and shook her awake gently as she murmured in her sleep. “Baby,” I whispered as I felt her tense beside me. I hated waking her up, wanting to stay in bed and feel myself inside of her again before making breakfast and drinking coffee as I took in her sleepy morning eyes. I knew that she looked beautiful just from seeing her here in my arms but today wasn’t the day for us to do any of what I wanted. “Elena, you have a class today.” She moved and got up to use the bathroom before dressing and getting ready to leave. I walked her out to her car since it was still so dark, kissing her gently before I saw her start the engine with a reminder to text me when she arrived home. I knew her address so I could check her path home in case I didn’t hear from her, and I watched her leave with a frown. I hated sending her away, and that was so unnatural for me. I normally didn’t think twice about it with a woman.
I went back inside to wait for her text, sitting in bed and feeling the emptiness of it. We did find a few moments to be together, but it was too hasty to be actually enjoyed. I sighed and thought about making some coffee as my phone chimed, checking it to make sure that Elena was home safely. I felt the relief wash through me and stood to start brewing the coffee since I was certain that I wouldn’t be going back to sleep this morning. I didn’t have a class to teach, but there were some lesson plans to work on. I fixed some eggs and toast to eat while I watched the sun come up through my back window. I worked on some upcoming lesson plans, spoke to my sister on the phone as we planned our weekly dinner for that night and fell asleep in front of the television watching a movie.
I didn’t contact Elena for the remainder of the day. I knew that I was seeing Marie and I focused on getting some dessert to have after she cooked her amazing Chicken Alfredo. She was all smiles when she opened the door and hugged me, inviting me inside. I still saw Mom here, and my sister hadn’t changed too much since moving in, making me feel a little sad inside. I sat at the counter on a barstool sipping a beer as she cooked and we caught up a bit. Marie was a writer for the local paper as well as a few other things and I wondered for a moment if she could help Elena out with a job before I pushed the idea back. I didn’t want to admit to my sister that I was doing the unthinkable by sleeping with a student.
We ate dinner at the table as we kept talking about our jobs, what we’d been up to and how much we missed Mom. Marie glanced at me a few times and her features so much like my own scrunched up. “Liam, what’s going on? I know that you’re here, and we’re talking, but I’ve watched you drift off several times tonight.”
“Just school stuff. It’s been an adjustment getting back into it,” I brushed her concern off as Marie tilted her head questioningly. Marie sipped her beer and narrowed her scrutinizing eyes at me.
“Are you certain? It looks like there’s something more going on to me. Are you seeing someone?” Marie pressed as I slowly took a long sip from my bottle.
“You know my version of seeing women, Mar.” I said casually as she rolled her eyes.
“Yes, I do. You like being a man whore,” she shot back as I pressed a hand to my heart and feigned being hurt. “You know that I’m right.”
“I am not a man whore. I just don’t want anything serious,” I defended myself as she shook her head. “You sound like Mom when she used to tell me to get married and have a family after I got into college. Remember that?”
“I do.” Marie was six years younger than I was and had been married once for a year. Once she discovered him cheating, she left, and I knew that she had a hard time trusting anybody now. I also knew that Marie wanted kids, more than I did. It made me hope that she would find someone wonderful in her life that could give her that dream. “Someone has to keep that tradition going, don’t they?”
“Yeah, that will be you. I don’t think I am cut out for life with kids and I’m old,” I tried to joke as she looked at me. This was one of the moments that Mom’s presence was thick in the air of this house. I hated them and welcomed them with everything inside of my cold heart as I smiled at Marie. We both felt it.
We made coffee and cut slices of Marie’s favorite chocolate cake from a nearby bakery. Marie was excited about her newest clients this week, a new family that wanted outdoor pictures taken when the sun was out. She worked a few part-time jobs that seemed to turn into far more than full-time employment, but she was happy using her creativity and getting paid for it. Marie was always the daydreamer in the family, while I worked wit
h numbers. I heard that came from Dad, but since he left when I was seven and Marie was just a baby I didn’t remember that too well. I only felt the pain of his leaving us and making my mom work so hard to keep our little family going.
Marie and I cleaned up before I went home to get ready for the following day. I walked into my condo with a generous amount of leftovers and popped it into my fridge, and I thought about Elena. She’d love the dinner and dessert, which meant that I could devour my second treat for the night. I was just picking up my phone when a text came through, and I tilted my head as I read it. Elena was thinking about me, and it wasn’t long before she was coming over to spend what she could of this night with me.
I changed into some pajama bottoms and a t-shirt before answering the light knock on the door. It was my sister, and I frowned at her as she ruefully handed me my wallet. “I thought that you might need this.”
“Thanks, Marie,” I replied with a forced smile, knowing that Elena was going to be coming over soon. I forgot that I’d taken it out of my pocket when we ate dinner.
“I have to go. I have to get everything set up for tomorrow!” She kissed my cheek and rushed off as I watched, shaking my head. My sister was a dork, but I loved her. I watched as someone slowly stepped forward and took in the look on Elena’s face.
“Did I interrupt something?” Her voice was soft, and I held out my hand, knowing what she thought was happening in this moment. “I assumed you were alone.”
“I am. That was my sister dropping off my wallet that I left at her house,” I explained as relief flooded her face. “I would have introduced you if you’d come forward. She’s great.”
Elena walked forward and smiled as I pulled her into my door. “That's a bad idea, though. Right?”
“Probably. The fewer people that know, the better.” I hated my words. I wanted this to be a situation where I might be able to pursue something with Elena. There were already more feelings for her inside of my head and heart to consider it, but I’d made a wrong choice with Elena.
I closed and locked my door and asked her if she was hungry. I did have a plan inviting her here tonight. Elena told me that she skipped dinner and I walked into the kitchen to reheat a quarter of the Chicken Alfredo for Elena. There would be plenty left. I added a couple of slices of French bread to the plate before I took it into the living room, along with a glass of wine for her. “This looks great. Did you make it?” Elena asked as I raised an eyebrow at her.
“My sister did, but I cook just fine, little lady,” I assured her as she stabbed some of the food with her fork. “I did buy an amazing chocolate cake for dessert, though. Yours, anyway. My dessert is this body.” I slipped a hand over her thigh, and she moaned for a moment as I sucked her earlobe between my teeth.