I merely nodded, not wanting to continue the conversation – in fact, hoping that the meal would end and we could all scatter to the winds once more. But my mom, ever the gracious host, was always the talker.
“That sounds wonderful,” she said. “And what are you considering going to school for?”
“Sound engineering, I think.”
“Right on,” Luke said. “I was thinking of doing something like that too.”
Luke was working at a restaurant nearby, waiting tables. I rolled my eyes as he spoke since he'd never mentioned going back to school before. If it wasn't for me wanting to keep to myself, I would have mentioned how that was the first time he'd said anything of the sort. But I just wanted the evening to end, so I kept quiet. It took everything in me to hold my tongue, but I did it.
I tuned out the rest of the conversation, and dinner passed by without Reese speaking to me again. Thankfully. I hoped this would be the last of our interactions. Hoped it would be the last time I saw him ever again, quite honestly. He could leave, we'd go our separate ways and hopefully there'd be no more family dinners with him anytime soon. One could hope, at least. Especially since he wasn't really family. Not to anyone but Eli, but no one even k
new about that.
After dinner, I expected Reese and Luke to disappear somewhere. Just like old times. I figured they'd play basketball in the driveway or listen to music in the basement or run off downtown to a party.
I was really hoping for the latter, that they'd go away, but they hung around instead. They went outside, presumably to shoot some hoops like they used to do. Eli fell asleep, so I put him to bed in my old room and went downstairs to help mom clean up from dinner. The dishes were already done, though, and my mom and dad were nowhere to be found. They likely retreated to the den to watch some television before bed like they normally did.
I turned to go back upstairs when the back door opened. My heart skipped a beat when Reese came inside – and Luke wasn't behind him. We were alone. We stared at each other for one long, awkward moment before I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm.
“Wait, Maya – we need to talk.”
“We do?” I asked, my voice cracking. “What do we need to talk about?”
I tried to pretend I had no idea what was happening, but Reese knew. I could see it in his eyes.
“I'm no fool, Maya. After talking to you and then asking your brother a few questions, I put two and two together – I'm Elijah's father, aren't I?”
My heart dropped into my stomach. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to get sick and my knees turned into jelly. I never imagined that I'd see Reese again, so I hadn't bothered to prepare for the moment. I couldn't lie though – the facts were right there. And if I lied to him or tried to play it off, he could always request a DNA test – he had a right to know, after all.
He had a right to know.
“Yes,” I said quietly. I closed my eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling while avoiding the expression on Reese's face. I didn't want to see it. I was so scared of what he might say or do. “But please know, I don't expect you to be part of his life. We're doing just fine and no one knows you're the father –”
“What kind of man do you think I am, Maya?” he asked.
He sounded angry, and that caused me to open my eyes and look at him. He was angry, but also sad. There were a lot of emotions on his face, many I couldn't discern.
“I don't know, Reese,” I said. “I don't want to sound mean, but I hardly know you, honestly.”
“I know,” he said with a sigh. He sat down at the kitchen table, wringing his hands as he stared off into space. “It's just... wow. I'm a father. I wasn't expecting this, at all –”
My bottom lip trembled and I started shaking – the sobs came shortly after. I tried so hard to hold it in, but I'd been holding it in for far too long and it all came rushing out at once. I broke down, falling to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest as I just let it all out.
I was so tired of being alone, of doing this all by myself. Of keeping all of this to myself for so long. It was almost a relief, in some ways, to tell Reese the truth. At least now, it was no longer a secret. Not something I had to fear getting out there and getting back to him somehow. Because it was out there now. And now, he knew. What he chose to do now was up to him. I was already used to being a single mother, so if he decided to bail, that wasn't going to be new to me. And there was no way he'd take my son from me, no court in their right mind would give custody to him like that.
Yet, I still cried.
Reese got up from the table and joined me on the floor, pulling my face from my hands, forcing me to look him in the eyes.
“Maya, please, listen to me,” he whispered. “I want to be a part of his life. I want to see my son, to help you raise him. It's gonna take me a minute to figure it all out, but you're no longer alone.”
It was as if he'd read my mind and knew how to speak to my heart. He said the words I so badly needed to hear, but the problem was, I didn't know if I believed him.
“Are you sure? Because I can't have you in his life now, then a year down the road you're gone – off to somewhere new and exciting. I can't have his heart broken like that. I won't.”
Like mine had been, but I didn't say that. No, I didn't need to say that. Couldn't. Because it wasn't about me. It was about Eli now.
“Yes, yes, I'm sure,” Reese said, holding my hands in his. “I promise you, Maya. I will be the best father I can be for that boy. I may not be perfect, but he's my kid and I'll do my best.”